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MLK: to Puzzled AAF on Finding an AM
o Asian Princess in search of Asian Prince:
My first advice to you...Don't try so hard.
Males (Asian or otherwise) have a strong sense of smell when their female's objective is to cuff their ankle to a ball-and-chain. Men are so scared of committed relationships that if given a choice, they'd rather not. However, just like a bank's position on lending money (if you have a lot of money, we will lend to you, if not, sorry!); likewise, if you have a lot of boyfriends, you will find that you can't fight them off. Why?
(First secret) Because the male psychie of fearing commitments is only slightly eclipsed by their "Alpha Male" instinct, they will fight other males tooth-and-nail for the woman that they feel to be the prize of the pack, the one that shouts to the world that they are the Alpha "strut" Male when they are around this woman. Hehehe--never mind the fact that their strutting is somewhat hampered with one ankle dragging a ball-and-chain.
My second advice to you...lower your standards (slightly).
Since you are 35, I assume that you have been so busy finishing school and starting a career all these years that you don't really have a handle on what's available out there--and on the available metric scale, you do have a strong advantage.
(Second Secret) There are more Asian guys in America (and in China...surprise!) than Asian girls, and so your chances are very good. The only problem I see is that if you are traditional in thinking, you will want an older AM, which is more difficult, since studies have shown that if a man hasn't married by the time he is in his late-thirties/mid-forties, chances are very slim that he will marry at all. However, you have a couple of choices here. If you are ok with marrying a younger man (than you are), you shouldn't have any problems since the age bracket of unmarried and seriously looking (28-34) AMs are quite plentiful. Another option is the recently divorced male (I know, it's pretty rare in Asian communities, but the one bright side of all this American lifestyle is that divorce rates among AAs are increasing due to factors that I'd get into except we don't have space here). You will have to deal with his ex as well as his children, but it's a good trade-off if you are making good money and are ok with half his paycheck going to another woman.
By now, you begin to see the link between the first secret and the second. Accept all types of possible not-so-Princey types of men and your circle of boyfriends widen to allow for the possible juxtaposition of natural male dominancy to flourish.
This leads to my third and final secret...CONSIDER YOURSELF GORGEOUS!!!
If there is anything more important than this, I don't know what it is, but when a woman thinks she is beautiful (even the vain ones!) the men think the same! There ain't nothing sexier and more desirable than a woman who thinks she's da bomb and she knows that other men feel the same way. This is your magic bullet. Spend money on yourself, get a pedicure and a make-over. Buy new clothes. Wear high platforms or heels to show off your figure. Dye your hair a kick-ass shade. Don't even worry about what the guys say they prefer, because they all say "oh, we want natural color hair, etc." but the truth is that 99% of all blondes are bottle blondes, so we're not breaking any rules here. Get a convertible to show off your new look and bolster your self-esteem when the wolf whistles and cat-calls start coming in (and believe me, they will).
And lo-and-behold, Prince Charming drives by in his Lexus (or whatever carriage he prefers), notices all the commotion in the distance, spots the hot chick amidst the circling wolves, and comes marching in, side-swiping the numerous competition, to claim his rightfully deserved ball-and-chain!
Sunday, August 05, 2001 at 14:31:31 (PDT)
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