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Cultural Compatibility in Asian/Black Relations
ust out of curiosity. I have never seen such a vast number of Asian females with caucasian males. Seems to be a popular trend. Do parents object both Asian and caucasian? I wonder about Asian/black relationships. I do not see those groups coming together yet. Are the cultures able to blend nicely in these relatinships?
Patricia Cohen
Tuesday, January 22, 2002 at 15:41:12 (PST)
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i'm a 19 year old asian female currently with a 19 year old black male. i met him in college last fall. we've been together ever since. we've been together for almost a year now. he is the very first guy i've dated outside my race. i am madly in love with him. it took me by surprise. there i was you quiet kinda shy asian girl and there he was your outspoken, kinda thuggish, but a very caring person. the reason why i think we're still going strong has to do with the fact we are so different. he brings so much excitement into my life. he adds spice. opposites do attract. i was attracted to him because he has this bad boy image but deep down he has such a wonderful heart. he doesn't care what people think. we hold each other tall and proud. we don't care about haters. all we know is that we love each other. i feel so protected when i'm with him but most of all he makes me feel very womanly. i love him. call it crazy but this is the my future husband and the father of my kids. 143! 061710
AsianinLuv
Sunday, June 30, 2002 at 14:52:42 (PDT)
Why do they stare? Is it envy, jelousy, or is it just a deep hatred that was instilled within them since childhood? About four years ago, I found myself contemplating on this when ever my girlfriend and I use to go out. You see Im a black male and she`s Asian. Four years ago eyes use to surround us in curiousity, and disbelief that such a couple should be together. A time came were things got to a point where our relationship was threten, and it seemed as though this was`nt going to turn out the way we have planned it. But then we realize that if things were going to work out, we needed to disassociate ourselves with all the negitivity that was sent our way, on how our worlds are two different to ever relate. It was rough, but in time we learned how not to take comments personaly. They clearly dont understand that love has no bounderies and especially it defifinitely see`s no colour. It`s been a wonderful four years now, and our love is still strong and continues to grow and Im certain that it`ll only only gets stronger. Even though inter-racial couples are more commanly seen these days, the stairs still come our way. They dont bother me anymore, I just stair right back with pitty, due to the fact that dont really understand what true love is all about. I just want to tell everyone who is reading this, just to follow your heart, and if it so happens to lead you to that someone of a different colour or ethnicity, then I wish you the best. Chanda and I have been through a lot over the past four years. We were faced with a lot of obsticles along the journey, when it it all comes down to it, she`s the one that I love so darely. She the one that I plan to share a slice of cake with on our 50th wedding anniversery. She`s the one that I would put my life on the line for, if it ever came down to it. When its all said and done...... she still the one. My life, my heart, my everything. I love you girl, and thats all that matters.
O`Neil Johnson
oneil_johnson@hotmail.com
Friday, June 28, 2002 at 16:29:25 (PDT)
Im a Black male who has been studying Chinese culture and language for some time now. Ive been to China numerous times to study in Shanghai and Fudan University and I simply love the different atmosphere than my NYC home base.
I have fallen in love with a girl from TAI' AN who seems to be quite interested in me as well. I really appreciate her qualities and I fight to balance travel to China and communication with her until we can make a more serious commitment like marriage.
I have not met her parents yet :-/ but I asked to meet them and she seemed totally ok with me visiting her hometown and them. The Chinese pay alot of attention to me because I am 6'7 and dark skinned. When I speak or write Chinese they gather round to see. I have heard of many successful interracial couples Black M/ AsianW in Asia itself in lieu of the fact the traditional Chinese values seem to dislike Inter-race marriage i.e. marriage to non-Chinese (even with Whites).
I really love this girl and I want to make a good impression on her parents. I have heard her Father likes Stamp collecting so I was going to make him a collection of stamps from the USA in a Photo Frame. Im not certain what would be good to present the mother. Ive studied into the culture so I can avoid offending but I cant figure out how to present myself as best as possible.
"Being MYSELF" wont work because Americans have many habits that the Chinese dont appreciate.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE any Chinese women in here.....Please give me pointers. IM BEGGING YOU! this is really starting to frustrate me.
Please Email me with comments and such. I welcome all correspondence.
DSLC
DSLCOBRA@yahoo.com
Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 14:07:41 (PDT)
To Sniz,
I admire your courage in being willing to date someone outside your race and for telling your parents about your choice.
I have always been curious, do Asian parents resent their children dating Blacks because they feel Blacks won't take care of them, won't appreciate their culture and values, won't be faithful husbands or wives? Are they afraid that their grandchildren will be "too black"?
I'm not saying that they are wrong to have concerns or worries, any marriage is a potential risk in the beginning, only with time and trials together do we see if our bonds are really strong.
I also do believe that love has no limits or boundaries (race, social or economic status, etc.) and that if you both love each other and go into this this openly and honestly, you should have as much of a chance to succeed as anyone else. No doubt that of you have children they will look like both of you (not like a typical Asian) but I think all children are beautiful and I'm sure yours will be no exception.
I wish you both the best of luck. Hang in there and please let us know what happens.
Thaihorse
Monday, June 24, 2002 at 08:46:32 (PDT)
I am now dating a black man, though my friends have never seen that as an issue my family strongly disagrees with my choice. But they do not understand the kind of man he REALLY is, not another stero type. We both get along well even through some stares down the streets while we walk down the street holding hands. Im very happy being with him n hopes it lasts through the good n bad.
sniz
Monday, June 17, 2002 at 15:39:03 (PDT)
I just recently discovered this particular forum and it makes me happy to read such wonderful posts.
I am very happy for willsboo and Chanda and O'Neil. I wish you all to have happy, long-lasting marriages and beautiful, healthy and happy children!
Thank you both for sharing your stories with us.
Thaihorse
THAIHORSEyancy@netscape.net
Monday, June 17, 2002 at 10:00:14 (PDT)
I'm a Chinese woman married to a black man for 6 years and we've been together for over 10. My husband and I have found that our cultures are similar in many ways and enjoy sharing the differences as well. Most people still view our relationship as almost taboo, even in a so called "melting pot" like Los Angeles. It's more acceptable to society if I were to be with a white man, in some ways because of the economic/social status they have been given.
We are looking forward to having kids soon and none of our family or friends have expressed any misgivings about bringing up multi-ethnic children; in fact, everyone is looking forward to seeing what our firstborn will look like as my husband is also part asian in the sense that his grandfather is part east indian.
I believe that if two people love each other, regardless of their ethnic backgrounds, and are willing to commit to their relationship-even with negativity from others, it will work. Too many people are allowing what others think destroy their happiness. You just have to be strong.
willsboo
py_johnson@hotmail.com
Friday, June 14, 2002 at 00:03:07 (PDT)
My Boyfriend and I have been together since we were 16. We have a wonderful relationship. He is a black male who defies all the stereotypes that society sets against him. He is genuinely respectful, kind and polite. These are qualities that not only make him a wonderful boyfriend, but a great human being. The fact that he is Black has made it very hard for my parents to except, but after four years they are finally beginning to accept our relationship. There is only one difference between by boyfrieand and I and we have come to accept that this simple difference will keep some people in society from understanding that we are more alike then unalike. We have the same values, and beliefs and this is the base for our strong relationship. But most of all, it is our love and respect for one another that keeps us together and happy. We love eachother for our souls...and the soul has no color.
Still in love (Chanda and O'Neil)
chandamen@hotmail.com
Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 17:09:35 (PDT)
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