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AM in the Dark: How Do I Ask Out a Chinese Girl?
like this AF at a chinese carryout, which she and her family run. I see her on a normal basis. I've asked if she would like to eat dinner sometime. She said she said she's very busy with the carryout, but none the less she would think about. She's never mention anything about it since. She seems to always be friendly with me when we meet (positive facial expressions). I've never asked any AF out before and don't know there games or body language that they use. There is a possiblity that she moved the US from China and has chinese culture behind her (not sure).
My question:
Is there anything I should know about AF whether they came from china or US? Is there a general approach that is more receptive?
Please if some one could give me better insight I would be most appreciative.
-Baffled
P.S AIM call sign is akathepc
AM in the dark about asking an AF out.
pcooper@gmu.edu
Thursday, December 13, 2001 at 21:39:55 (PST)
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Face it. I have came in contact with some Chinese girls, although I was not actually dating them. It's not like they did not like me, they just do not want to have a boyfriend, or Chinese girls just wanted to be my friend for a while. I really don't go for their looks that much, for that their looks are extremely beautiful. Her interests and heart are the key factors to successfully getting a Chinese girl. Sure, I find Chinese girls, whether American born or overseas, the most interesting and charming Asian females among all the other groups.
Another thing about Chinese girls is that some of them only want to go out with a guy (Asian or non-Asian) that has tons of money and/or has completed college w/ or w/out a Master's. Otherwise, she would dump him. Of course, it is hard to find a REAL good Chinese girl.
My assumption about Chinese girls is that maybe some, not all, have a state of euphoria inside themselves. Maybe they are happy of being single, or maybe they are happy of just manipulating or ridiculing a guy she is going out with. I know it sucks, but probably she has no interest in him.
Chinese girls, like any other girl, either have a high or low self-esteem. I think that some don't want to go out with a guy, mainly she has a lack of confidence in asking him out.
I personally have no advice for a guy, but I have some feelings about Chinese girls. They are not mean, nor are all of them are always craving and/or yearning for a guy's wealth.
chinalova
Sunday, April 21, 2002 at 19:04:36 (PDT)
"Happy in Asia" is an Asian-fetished a**hole--it's men like you that give men a bad name. There are enough of you out there already...don't post your sickness and your stereotypes here! It's bad enough that I have to deal with men like you when I leave my house, but on an AA website too? Spare us!
and Baffled, honey, people are people. You asked her out, she seems to have let you down easy. It doesn't have anything to do with where she's from. If you're respectful and direct, I doubt you'll have many problems in the future.
AF in RI
Monday, March 18, 2002 at 15:30:05 (PST)
Just ask her out. The worst thing she will say is no. But when dealing with asian woman in general you must show them respect. Good luck
bigsquill
Monday, March 18, 2002 at 10:48:10 (PST)
Give her the consideration of asking her out one more time. If she gives other than a yes answer forget it. This is not rocket science, although there are many differences between ladies from east and west, other than looks, they aren't really apparent until you develope a relationship. A gentle polite let down or a simple test of your sincere interest can and does cross "ALL" ethnic and racial lines. Her next reply will set you straight. Accept it gracefully.
Enlightened
Thursday, March 14, 2002 at 09:41:46 (PST)
She also might be from China who have put their life savings for the SnakeHeads to get them here.
They work for the Fukienese Triad who enslave them for cheap labor. It would take them a lifetime plus for them to pay back these bastards but at least they believe their BS and they are in AMERICA, Gold-Mountain, or whatever lies they are led to believe ( More like the land of the privilege few)
Then they are stuck here working as a slave but they can't escape because they have to pay back these snake heads. Rather than losing face by returning back to China or if they do their family in China is threaten. So they are in essence in Catonese called: "Say Gun" or "Up Shit Creek" they can't stay or go and they can only hope for the US authorities for help or get a write up in the evening news.
Pretty sad but many of them who do come in illegally are mostly poor peasant farmers who are uneducated, backwoods and don't know their ass from their elbow but they must get to AMERICA the land of milk and honey so they will auction off their land and life savings just to get here.
And even if they do somehow get out of the gang they have to struggle and Work Work Work and get the damn symbol of making it here - A Honda or Lexus car.
So, you see she is too damn busy to worry about going out or having fun - she has alot more problems on her own to deal with. So ask all you want she will just smile and say to you:"You think you got problems, HA!"
AM Truth
Monday, February 18, 2002 at 20:50:40 (PST)
She's either not interested, or is waiting for you to ask her again.
Cali
Saturday, February 16, 2002 at 14:43:02 (PST)
"I am Chinese" expressed my thoughts exactly...right on sister!
People are people
Monday, February 11, 2002 at 14:42:47 (PST)
What the hell?! What in the Friggin Hell?!!! why are all these white dudes posting their prejudiced crap on an asian site? okay, i'm chinese and i'm a girl, foreignborn nonetheless, and let me just say that you people are chawk full of bull. what's up with Yugomark's drivel about chinese girls being attracted to wealth? that's like saying white girls are attracted to pithair. i personally cannot care less how much money a guy has. money is just a hindrance to a healthy relationship. and happy in asia needs to be castrated if he thinks he can get away with "bedding" all the asian women he can get his grubby little paws on. they probably just feel sorry for his ugly old lily ass. don't listen to his verbal defecation either, there's nothing worse than having to listen to white guys butcher my language by learning fake chinese and regurgitating it with a stupid dumbass grin on his face. ha! "happy hunting"? do you know what you're hunting, little boy? we're not the fuzzy exotic bunnies you think us to be. follow too close and you'll get your head bitten off. i have been in that girl's situation before. naiive white guys like you just don't understand that not all asian girls think it's flattering when an "american" comes up to them and awkwardly asks them out. i myself have always found it incredibly uncomfortable, greatly nauseating, and slightly humourous. maybe this girl likes you as a person, but can't stand the thought of going out with anything non-asian. maybe she's smiling because she just wants to be friends. and if god loves you and this isn't the case, don't be thinking there's a special way you have to treat asian girls just because they're asian and their frail porcelain little brains will shatter otherwise. just treat her as you would a blonde or a redhead. just because her hair is black and her skin is gold doesn't mean her brain is coded. the only thing baffling you is yourself.
i am chinese!
Sunday, February 03, 2002 at 20:14:18 (PST)
Hello,
I am a teacher in the People's Republic of China. I am married to a beautiful woman here, and I am average at best. She is not that interested in coming here, but that is another tale.
I would keep coming over to that restaurant and keep talking with that girl and be nice to her. Is she from China, or Chinese American? Does she speak English well (mine does not).
Bad thing is that Chinese people might smile at you but really dislike you but wont say it to you. This is called "face".
Lastly, go slow and dont push. This is hard because most "yellow" women are cute to downright fine and they have nice figures and gentle personalities. Dont let the "gentle" personality fool you however, the Chinese woman is very strong emotionally and will probobly be smarter than you. (Yes, I am pussy-whipped).
e-mail me at g3367@hotmail.com
Later
Glenn
Glenn
Friday, February 01, 2002 at 02:15:45 (PST)
First of all, I believe that common sense is the best approach. I am a 21 year old white guy, and I have dated only a few girls. I must say, though, that I am fairly more experienced with Asian women than most other guys, white or asian. Here are some pointers on attracting Asian girls:
1) I prefer foreign born Asian (almost exclusively Chinese) girls. I have found that typically if I ask them out they are glad to go out.
2)I am white, but I am short with dark hair and dark eyes, and I am not wealthy. I am not brad pitt, and I am not Bill Gates. The truth is that you don't have to be rich or good looking to attract a nice Chinese girl from China. Of the two, however, I would probably say that whether a Chinese girl is from the U.S. or from abroad, she will typically be more impressed by money than good looks. I am not rich, though, and I do not have any problem attracting Asian women, so if you are sincere with her and hardworking and smart (and likely to be rich in the future) you should be able to attract a Chinese girl.
3)As far asking out Asian girls, the same rule applies to asking out any other girls: say "Hi, I was wondering if you would like to talk on the phone......" Talk with her, ask her out. If she like you great. If not....move on to another girl. You'll eventually find one.
Happy Hunting!
yugomark
Wednesday, January 30, 2002 at 20:16:39 (PST)
Is this guy "Happy in Asia" for real? He writes as if he's selling a book on late-night TV - How to Bed Chinese Women by the Austin Powers of the Orient.
More power to you brother. It sounds like you've got it all figured out.
Laughing in L.A.
Tuesday, January 29, 2002 at 14:55:54 (PST)
Advice for : AM in the Dark:
How Do I Ask Out a
Chinese Girl?
She is being polite & says she's
"busy". Of course she's busy, you
asked her out at a work environment.
Secondly, a girl who's geniunely
interested in you, wouldn't hesitate
to say "yes" when you ask her out
& she doesn't have to think about it.
Sorry, you just have to move on to
someone who appreciates you
more.
Asian Canadian girl
Saturday, January 26, 2002 at 21:04:56 (PST)
To: Baffled
I am writing to you about Chinese girls/women. I have been bedding them for over two decades. The count runs high and am still climbing. I enjoy them immensely and seeing how they keep coming back they enjoy me. This sounds like a boast but there is really no magic just hard won knowledge that makes it work.
These girls I am speaking of are definitely not prostitutes; I want to make that clear to our Asian/Chinese male friends who seem to have a major problem with a regular Asian/Chinese girl being with a Caucasian male in the US of A, moreover in fact the best source here is usually disgruntled wives whose husbands are off at the karaoke or club showing his "big face" and sexual prowess to his buddies with some 17 year old he has on the side.(Very cultural). The women I have usually are 21 to 36 years old and they range from wives as mentioned (even 22 year old wives have this problem) to counter girls to lawyers, to dancers, etc. Most simply want attention and affection with their sex something most Chinese men traditionally throw out after the first few months or so of marriage.
Now I have the benefit of 20 years experience of understanding the way they think and I don't give a good God damn what these little "young and dumb" Asian male rookies say, the Asian and Chinese girls think and respond differently from girls in the West.(Even Chinese girls born in and from the West. Which I had a devil of a time with in fact, the one I was after took me almost a month to get. She was an ABC (Amer Born Chinese) as she later informed during our pillow talk. She was in Macao off from her studies in China. She is still a good friend who I dearly like. She is 25.)
There is no one thing I can advise you on in the States in meeting and hitting it off with a Chinese girl as in America the prejudice and bigotry of the Amer-Chinese there is so heavy that is makes things even worse and more difficult for the foreign Chinese female (or ABC as I was informed) meeting and having a relationship with a Caucasian there such that one would need be doubly clever and persistent in one's efforts.
Firstly, try to get to meet her alone out of earshot of other Chinese, any Chinese. As she will feel uncomfortable and make your approach unreceptive and worthless.
Second, you probably don't speak any Mandarin or dialect (I do hence it's easier). Try and learn a few choice words in her language once you determine what she speaks they will go a long way. It will make her (and possibly her workmates) smile and show interest on your part (Note: use the time proven method and ASK her or someone she works with where she is from and what language was that).
Third, when you do get her alone to talk to find out about her, I don't mean her favorite color, you probably will only have a few moments if you ARE able to get her alone long enough to talk to so find out where she is from , where is her family (and family members), what family is there or where are they, how long she has been there and what does she HOPE and WANT to accomplish there, ie., her plans. Sounds like pretty normal easy stuff, right, well good luck if you think so. But if you get this from her you can move on from there.
Important note: Most Asian girls, particularly Chinese, like money & wealth disproportionately more than their white sisters. (Don't believe this. Then go to a Chinese dinner function sometime and see how much time is spent talking about money, if it is under 90% then you with an extraordinarily cosmopolitan Chinese crowd). So try to look your best when you plan to speak with her. Chinese believe heavily on first impressions.
Other than this you shall just need to do what the rest of us who have gone before you have done. Persist, adapt, overcome.
By the way, my present girlfriend is a 23 years old (unmarried) university student Chinese girl surnamed Lim, 5'7" 35 24 35, excellent English, beautiful and cooks for me every night.
Best of Luck.
PS/ To GoldSea.com:
We, and by we I mean my Chinese partners and I believe and suggest you should change the name of your website to
"AmerAsian Bigots DotCom".
Far more appropriate.
Regards
Happy in Asia
Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 21:57:24 (PST)
Chinese girls are like that. They don't tell you straight up. I like girls who tell the truth, and don't try to beat around the bush. If you don't like someone, just tell them in their face! That's why so many guys get mixed messages from them. I bet lots of them end up having stalkers. Well, they shouldn't really complain about it because they asked for it!
Toi San Jai
Eric@KristinKreuk.net
Saturday, January 05, 2002 at 00:46:49 (PST)
Baffled:
It doesn't matter if a woman is Chinese, American or French. If a woman says she'll "think about it," it means that she doesn't want to be mean and say no to you. It's a delaying tactic in the hopes that you'll get the hint.
The reason why she's still nice to you is because she doesn't want to lose a regular customer to her family business and because she wants to maintain a friendly CUSTOMER relationship.
Best bet is to move on.
Anonymous Male
Thursday, December 27, 2001 at 06:38:20 (PST)
Sounds like she to busy with the family business, and she put you down gently.
You should either work part time there. Or strike up a conversation the next time you get a pick.
The goal is to find out what her interest are besides the family business, so you can invite her to do something she like.
She works in a Chinese restuarant. So taking her out to eat won't make much of an impression on her.
"Is there anything I should know about AF whether they came from china or US? "
-This is confusing question. You can't distinguish whether she is from China, HK, Taiwan, or the USA. Just listen to her talk.
AC dropout
Wednesday, December 19, 2001 at 10:01:32 (PST)
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