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To WF on Coping with AM's Mother
F,
this is a tough one due to the fact that your boyfriend neither wishes to lose
you or his parents. It seems however that your situation maybe a little better
due to the fact that your BF's mother doesn't play the race card on you. I'm NOT
saying that her reason for being against your relationship is just by any means.
But the fact that she isn't racist against you being a WF is already a step in
the right direction. I think too many 1st generation Asians put too high a
premium on financial and academic success as it is part of our blood and it
drives us to succeed in our daily lives. However, it also saturates our minds
into believing that respect can only come from this success. Your BF's mother
probably thinks that to be worthy of dating her son, the girl must be just as
good as him in every facet of the financial/academic game. This is of course
unfair. But what you can do is to show his mother that you are VERY good and
efficient at what you do and that what your career involves is NO piece of cake.
You need to show her that what you do is just as worthy of respect as what her
son does be it Engineering, Medicine, or Banking. By showing your talents, I
believe you're taking a step in the right direction. Open your BF's mom's mind
to other occupations that are just as necessary but just not as financially
viable. Another words, show her what your good at, and how important what you do
is.
Hope this helps,
Kevin Yang
PS NOT all AM obey their mothers unconditionally, they just hold their mom's
opinions in HIGH regard. It's a respect thing.
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