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BF Seeks Tips on Meeting AM's Family
am a light-skinned black female who has been dating my boyfriend, who is Chinese-American, for two years. We have a great relationship. His father approves of me for him. My boyfriend's other relatives want to meet me. Should I or what do I do or bring when I meet his other relatives for the first time? Is there a Chinese tradition to bring a particular thing when meeting your boyfriend's relatives? Any suggestions. Please feel free to post your suggestions or email me. Thanks
BF having a great relationship with AM
kianca@hotmail.com
Sunday, August 11, 2002 at 10:19:03 (PDT)
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YOUR ADVICE
Kianca:
I would try to find out what country
your boyfriend's family grew up in
or were recently resided in. While
they are ethnically Chinese, they may
have resided or grew up in another Asian country such as the Philippines
meaning of course that they have a completely different perspective culturally et al compared to someone from Taiwan or mainland China. Another important factor is: how many years have they been in the U.S. The longer they have resided in the U.S., the more accustomed they may be to American culture - and thus maybe to Black culture.
Interested in knowing what you think about all this and how your meeting
with the family played out.
Good Luck,
Sam
Sam in San Francisco
nobhillwriter@cs.com
Sunday, September 08, 2002 at 12:30:44 (PDT)
Kianca- I'm sure you'll do just fine when you meet the relatives. Be prepared that some of them might ask you a lot of questions, but that's quite typical for gatherings such as this. Some Chinese people like bring Asian snacks or pastries when they visit other Chinese people's homes, but it's not an absolute must.
Good luck! =)
Chinese American Female from SF
Friday, August 23, 2002 at 12:26:44 (PDT)
Kianca,
His parents and relatives approves of you so there's really no need to worry.
Ray
Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 19:30:49 (PDT)
Kianca:
Congratulations on the growing and relationship with your Asian man!! I would suggest that you mix in your custom along with Asian custom. When Asians give gifts, they always have a meaning or story behind them. As you know, we African-Americans are sentimental. Why not select a nice plant in a sturdy, classy, and attractive pottery piece. Please avoid a cheap-looking glass vase with flowers already in them. The idea is that this pottery piece will be something that can remain in home long after the plant. Go to this website (below), it gives meanings behind plants. Be sure to explain the meaning behind the plant to them, making it applicable to a positive feeling/gesture from you to the whole family or whoever is present.
In case you choose roses, I’ve included the meaning behind the color of roses. I’m happy for you. It sounds like it’s going to be a very nice meeting. A few other well-meaning suggestions.
(1) First and foremost, be yourself. (2) If you already don't know how to use chopsticks, learn. They will be impressed. You can practice in private..all on your own
(3) Be specific in complimenting whoever who prepared the meal
Here is the website:
http://www.geobop.com/Symbols/Plants/meanings/
Red: Love, Respect
Light Pink: Admiration, Sympathy
Deep Pink: Gratitude, Appreciation
Yellow: Joy, Gladness
White: Innocence
Orange: Enthusiasm
Red and Yellow Blend: Joviality
Pale Blended Tones: Sociability, Friendship
Black: Death, Hate. It used to mean Farewell
Lavender: Love at First Sight
Yellow and Red Edges: Falling in Love
Single Rose: Simplicity
Two Roses Wired Together: Coming Marriage or Engagement
Red Rosebuds: Purity
Rosebuds: Beauty, Youth
amenyes
Monday, August 12, 2002 at 14:15:23 (PDT)
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