ADVANTAGES OF BEING ASIAN AMERICAN

or some the only downer to being Asian American is being lumped with all the whiners.
     The problems that afflict us? No different from those faced by all Americans, they argue. Vincent Chin? Won a barroom fight and was ambushed in the parking lot by a pair of drunken sore losers with a baseball bat. Happens to white guys too. Media stereotypes? Would you rather be cast as a beer-guzzling milquetoast with a spare tire and a perpetual sunburn? Not to mention being unable to jump, dance or multiply.
     Weigh the trivial irritations against the big advantages, exhort the upsiders. Like being raised in two-parent families that provide emotional stability, a solid educational foundation, a multi-cultural perspective and healthy eating habits. Like being seen as innately more intelligent, diligent and honest. Like having a full head of hair past 30 and never having to shave your back. Sure, the new immigrants have a rough time, they concede, but compare apples to apples. The Census Bureau stats show that U.S.-born Asians do as well as any group and better than most.
     So what's your take? Are we getting a raw deal or are we just too busy complaining to appreciate our many advantages?

(Updated )

Talent beats Experience and mostly wins:

"Btw, I am an AA, not a White person."
If you were nonasian, you'll at least have an excuse for being ignorant about asians. I have to wonder why you like to refer to AA as 'they' rather than 'we'? And why are you giving examples of other AA with overbearing parents, but not yourself (although you are CONVINCED that AA parents are the blame)?

"I wasn't jealous of Ms. Kwan's past achievements but just her demeanor towards the 2002 Winter Olympics. She was overconfident about her skating abilities and thought "yeah I'm gonna win it because I've been to this spot before""
If you want to make your case, use evidences not assumptions.

"Not true, Ms. Kwan felt pressured by her dad, who sacrificed everything for her to win. That pressure caused her to fluke during the competitions."
That's the attitude to take -- put the blame on others to release oneself of responsiblities. I HIGHLY doubt Michelle Kwan perceive her father as you do. If Kwan was feeling that much pressure from her father, wouldnt it be logical to assume that she also resents him in some ways? On the contrary...during the olympics, she and her father expressed physical affection (which is rare yet admirable of asians). Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps Kwan was feeling pressured that moment b/c she was up against Sarah Hughes FLAWLESS performance?

"When one is pressured, they cannot do a good job, especially if they don't have the capability in the 1st place."
After Hughes perfect performance, she cried, "I've NEVER skated that well before in my life". Kwan, on the other hand, had NUMEROUS perfect performances in the past (hence, the reason why many thought she was a potential gold medalist). What does this tell us? Luck plays a big role in figure skating.

"Ok, maybe you and the rest of the many AAs come from really nice Asian families. But let me tell you, many AAs who come from the inner cities of America, and those who were brought up in these dysfunctional 1st generation working class households are not as fortunate as many of the suburban or 2nd gen or more AAs."

First point I want to make...anyone who claims that their family is not dysfunction is in denial (regardless of their background). Secondly, I AM from one of those first generation working class families, and I have endured the pressured you have described. But I dont feel victimized...instead (get this), I feel BLESSED! Well, sometimes I feel confused...but that's what makes me human.

You want to talk about pressures? Try putting yourself in an AA parent shoes. It might just change your perspective.

Here's my family story. In vietnam (although I'm pure chinese), my family lived among the wealthiest. In the US, we lived among the poorest (we were robbed of our valuables before fleeing to the states). In vietnam, my parents had developed close ties with neighbors and businessmen. In the US, they didnt even know the language or the culture well enough to even communicate. In vietnam, there were many families and friends around to help raise us NINE children. In the US, they were struggling just to provide us with life necessities. In vietnam, they were well respected among their peers. In the US, americans either pitied or mocked them. Compare our issues with our parents and tell me, who has it better?

So why do I feel blessed? My parents didnt approved my career choice, they have never complimented me on my achievements, nor have they ever expressed their affection verbally or physically. However, they have given us plenty growing up. For dinner, my mom would cook variations of dishes just to satisfy our different taste buds. Regardless of how finances were, they hardly spent money on themselves...almost everything they bought were for our enjoyment. Most importantly, despite the lack of communication and understanding...they care for us deeply and we knew it!

That was 20 years ago. Today, my siblings and I have our shit together b/c our parents had set boundaries (I wasnt thankful as teenager, but I am now). We are more accomplished than the typical american family b/c they had emphasize hardwork (they had set the example). Although, I disagree with my parents on many issues...I still respect them and consider their opinions. I feel blessed b/c they gave me hope to live a better life!

So whats the moral of this story?
1) Blaming is a lame excuse...take responsiblity for your own life!
2) Money, beauty, status, ethnical background (and parents) dont determined our future. ATTITUDE does!
3) The best thing about being AA? Our understanding of the asian and american culture allow us to appreciate who we are, and show us who we can be.

be
   Wednesday, April 24, 2002 at 02:12:35 (PDT)
to Talent beats Experience and mostly wins:

"...She was overconfident about her skating abilities and thought "yeah I'm gonna win it because I've been to this spot before""
Are we talking about the same competition? I saw an incredibly nervous skater who was so afraid to let her family, friends, and fans down, and did her very best on the ice but didn't quite make it for the gold. I felt bad for her, but I didn't come away with the thought that she was overconfident or arrogant or anything of the sort.

"...When one is pressured, they cannot do a good job, especially if they don't have the capability in the 1st place."
Actually, Kwan did have the capability to make gold. She certainly has proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that she's a world-class athlete. She simply made one mistake in a sport which allows no mistakes at all. This in no way invalidates her skills or capabilities.
Also, pressure is bad in some cases, but actually very good in others. I know that I do some of my best work when I'm pressured by somebody or something and I get lackadaisical when no one cares about my efforts.

"...maybe you and the rest of the many AAs come from really nice Asian families." What about you? Are you from a dysfunctional family? I can tell you that I came from one, but that didn't stop me from being a successful and productive citizen. You counseled some of the troubled youths in a community center once in your youth, I actually played with them and grew up among them. Most of those kids I played with are now well-off and prosperous because their families made sure they got a good education and knew what it took (mostly just damn hard work and a little luck) to be successful in America. Who did you play with as kids? More to the point, since you're an AA, didn't your parents teach you the values of hard work and a good education, or did they just let you float around doing nothing except sniff and look down at the core values that WE ASIANS have held dear for so long? What does that say about you as a person, and more importantly, would that be the real reason why we all thought you were a non-Asian simply because you don't hold the values and ideals that we Asians do?
MLK
   Tuesday, April 23, 2002 at 20:46:25 (PDT)
"But let me tell you, many AAs who come from the inner cities of America, and those who were brought up in these dysfunctional 1st generation working class households are not as fortunate as many of the suburban or 2nd gen or more AAs."

I agree with this comment/observation. There are countless Asians in America that do not grow up in economic and social privilege. The success of the few privileged Asians in America do nothing for the plight of the many Asians in America living in abject poverty, not to mention living with the annoyance of pervasive social stigmatization and racial hatred perpetrated by criminal or cowardly whites.

Furthermore, in my opinion, the fundamental issue is not the economic status of Asians in America, but a deeper moral problem: the issue of fairness. So what if segments of the Asian population in America is faring better than most ethnic populations in the U.S., whether black, white, or Hispanic. If these smart, professional segments of successful Asian groups in America did not face the perversity of ubiquitous "racial preferencing" by whites (i.e., whites selecting the unqualified or less qualified white over the qualified Asian for promotion, raises, etc., just because of "race" and not merit), then imagine how much wealthier, more successful, etc. our successful Asian brethren (and sisters) would be here in America? That's the real question.

In sum, do you think that a white C.E.O. making a million dollars a year should complain if society (or a representative of society--his or her immediate superior/board of directors) decided to give him a third of the million per year? Isn't he or she better off than than most other whites, even with the "reduction" in compensation? Is he or she simply a whiner for crying foul? Or, does this scenerio touch on something deeper, an issue of fairness? Do the successful segments of the Asian population in America deserve anything less? Begging the Asian elite in America to be happy with what they have is like telling our white CEO to be happy with $333,333.00 rather than the million. I say, Don't take that crap, Asian America!

An American of Asian Descent
   Tuesday, April 23, 2002 at 14:42:43 (PDT)

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