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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:05:20 PM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage isn't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Czech women sleep by the hundreds with men in Asia????
I don't think so. I am from that country and I know the situation there. Women there don't have a need to abandon "their own men".
In Asia??? Do you even know where the Czech Republic is located???? Dude, I think you need to first of all learn some facts before you start writing wrong facts.
I have background from both Slovakia and Czech. Rep., I grew up there, I know what it's like. It's better there (for us anyways) than in Asia. Stop telling lies.
And I don't think it's true what you said about the Russian women either. If they are marrying Koreans/Japanese, it's probably because of financial situation and if they could, they would rather stick to their own country.
eastern-european girl
Monday, December 30, 2002 at 15:15:05 (PST)
[64.228.36.53]
To some of you AM's who responded to my harsh post:
Yes, I did fully intend to wind you guys up, and for some of you I succeeded. I've found too many of you guys whining like a wounded child; and yes when I was younger I was one of the wounded as well. If you read my post in its entirety, I cited some possible solutions, which is something I've rarely found here. In case you guys didn't catch it, through my own experience I learned how to pick myself up and to go out and kick some ass. What I suggested is that you guys do the same, yet the responses here seem to suggest you want change without changing your own ways. Sorry - you fail. If you think that I'm blaming AMs, you're right, I am. WE are part of the problem as well, so WE must deal with it. If I can do it, so can a lot of you guys here as well.
If you guys want other females to respect you for who and what you are, make them; I did. Don't take any BS from people, shove it right back at them. What women really want above all else is men who are self-confident and who are unafraid to display who and what they are. That's what commands respect.
One person wrote back saying that I'm suggesting you guys should try harder to pick up girls at a lesbian scene. The stark reality is that you're making excuses for yourselves.
No, I will not chill. I won't back down, and I will never back down - and neither should any of you AM brothers.
As for your so-called white-washed AF, remember that this country is run by WM, so it's not just AF but females of many ethnicities who look up to the WM because they are the ones in power. It's a natural phenomenon.
So, that means empowering yourselves. Can you imagine - when I was a teen I couldn't get dates with AF because to them I was the wrong color, so I dated WF/BF/HF. It didn't change in my 20's, so the introvert became an extrovert when I approached 30. Now that I am in my 30's, I've met several AF who have come to appreciate AM that they didn't appreciate before. Why? Personality and self-confidence. Your ability to project a strong presence makes a HUGE difference to them. Now some of those so-called whitewashed AF I've met have dropped their facade - they're beginning to accept what they really are; they can't deny it. An excellent example is my older sister - she wouldn't date AM because she had this pathetic impression that she would be sitting across the dinner table from me on dates. She's been married twice, both times to a WM. She felt uncomfortable hanging out with me because I don't deny our heritage. I'm the only child who is bilingual because I worked at it. Now she appreciates me more because of it, and is beginning to drop her aversion to the AM. What a reality check, huh?
So, in summation, living with an inferiority complex is NOT such a bad thing; it's how you deal with it personally and socially. You CAN turn all this negativity into something positive. Like I've mentioned in my earlier posts, I'm planning on making Asian-themed films that will showcase the incredible depth of AM & AF personalities across the board. This includes relationships between AM/AF (which Hollywood outlaws for some strange reason) and positive and negative aspects as well. Remember, Asians are no different than any other race - so I must depict the good Asian vs. the bad Asian, and it's not necessarily a bad thing; some of you might even cheer for the bad guy or girl. I will not do this on an independent basis, I'm going to battle the major studios. I may fail a few times, but like I've always said, if you can get up, by all means get up and continue to fight.
Peace be with you brothers, but I place the responsibility on you guys to create the waves for change for yourselves, the AF, and society in general.
It would be interesting if any Asian females responded to this post, I'd like to know your thoughts.
AsianHollywood
Monday, December 30, 2002 at 15:10:19 (PST)
[63.233.25.36]
It's a phase in history..,
I think your view is a little skewd. Since not all inter-racial children are bred because of survival or rape or whatever negative influences in society.
Just talk to hapa people on this board. They can't all be children of rape and shotgun marriages.
The true fact of the matter is that genetic diversity is the goal of all organism. Failure to do so, means extinction at some point in time for the whole population.
So anti-IR trends are actually "unnatural" in terms migrating human population. As people migrate and intermingle it is just natural when they reach sexual maturity they will mate with people within their proximity that will diversify the gene pool of their offspring.
In terms of female humans they tend to be most attracted to males with the largest variation from their immulogical system, in double blind studies. They can detect this from perspiration oders.
I have pondered this thing called "love" for quite sometime now. I am absolutely convinced it is nothing more than a few protien puddles in a simple enthropic reaction, independent of phenotype (i.e. French, Eastern-European, Asian, or otherwise).
AC Dropout
Monday, December 30, 2002 at 14:02:47 (PST)
[24.136.115.189]
" Think about the Russian and Czech women that are marrying or sleeping with Korean and Japanese men by the hundreds in East Asia. They are poor, and are looking to find what they need away from their own country and men."
hmmm.. good points and thanks for you excellent explanation. I guess we all pretty much knew that all along, the Darwin explanation and how we AM are well below the WM, etc., well in general anyways. I believe the reasoning behind your theory, but do not buy into this completely. i personally think it's a bit more than that and in fact many AF would still prefer WM over AM, even if AM was much more wealthy in general.
ok. would those same Russian/Czek women behave that way if they were NOT poor? i don't think so. i argue AF would still. poor women have been hoaring themselves all through time. it's called the "oldest profession." AF in america are not poor nor uneducated. In fact i'd say they're among the most educated and well to-do as are AAM. But the AF will still raise their standards for an AM relative to an WM. These women are "materialistic" yes, but likely they have just as good if not better a chance of gaining material satisfaction for the AM vs the WM. I'm in NYC and I can attest that most of my AM friends are very well to do and yet still face this issue. How often have you known of AF dating WM who is much less in the economic ladder than she. Yet she will likley not consider an AM who is even at the same level as her. In fact most of the WM I'd known with AF girlfriends were chased by the AF, not for their material goods. They themselves profess, it's for their "whiteness." Yes, I agree, the AM without material means will likely be left in the dark.
The answer my friend is not so simple I believe; although you are mostly correct. And I don't think that all women of all races have the same tendencies as AF, at least not to point of epidemic proportions. There's likely some cultural norm attached to the the Asian community and particularly AF. If so, then what does that say about the AA community? The media and the negative imagery of AM certainly attribute partly. This will likely lessen and become better for Asians in general.
Perhaps it is the converse of materialism or the achievement of such. That we AAs have done so well that the only thing that we cannot truly achieve is "whiteness". Perhaps the AF is so aware of this that she will then put a huge premium on her mate being White. This in part concides with your darwinism theory to some part as whites are generally the most successful in this world. But it still doesn't make 100% sense to me. Why are so many AF not afflicted with this syndrome? And why so many AF go for weak white men with lesser means vs a stronger AM with means.
Why do the Black and/or hispanic communities have the same issues at the same epidemic levels, at least from what I can see? I did ask an AF this question once, not directly of course. Her response was, "White people considers us white (AF that is), but not black women or hispanics." She also mentioned that AM in general are not "good-looking" whereas AF are and look more white. Perhaps it's our desire as AAs to assimilate with White America and view their standards as our own, rather than be our own Americans. AF are simply better at this and have a stronger desire to. Maybe that is what makes us different from other minorities and indirectly causes this gender divide, at least to this level. Afterall the more we marry within, the less likely our children will assmilate to "white" america and be white.
What do you think?
Just a thought (AM)
Monday, December 30, 2002 at 13:52:38 (PST)
[24.168.129.39]
It's a phase in history,
What you said are correct. However, the issue is most AF cover their ulterior motives with lame excuses, such as their love being color-blind or AM being too conservative. If AF would only be a little bit honest about their "survival tactics", this gender schism debate would be less vitriolic.
FOP
Monday, December 30, 2002 at 12:47:04 (PST)
[12.235.196.239]
MLK,
a quarter of french blood doesn't really count though,lol.
i think Sharon was implying hapas as in half and half.
Shannon
Monday, December 30, 2002 at 11:47:52 (PST)
[67.241.61.110]
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