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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage is't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Twinkie:
Statistics indicate that 65% of Asian-American women have dated outside their race (more broad minded?), while only 35% of white American women have dated outside their race, and only 40% would even consider dating or marrying outside their race (more narrow minded?). This is even worse than African American women, who, most people say, find it hard to date outside their race. This is according to a survey by Washington Post. Now, that is a big gender divide.
Asian American Male
Friday, January 04, 2002 at 08:33:46 (PST)
"Women like Amy Tan" are not that large in number.
One of the reasons that some Jpn women here go out with foreign guys is BECAUSE they are something different, and it most cases, are seen as much a status symbol as a designer bag.
I do no know if the
consideration of obtaining status symbols is any stronger in Asian societies than in our capitalistic western one, but if so, then that might
be a clue.
Generally speaking, those who come from a different culture.country tend to bring the older version of that society's value's with them, meaning that their parents pass down what their parents passed down to them, without fresh input as happens narually thoughout life, thus leaving a third generation with the values of their grandparents, which are of course way behind the times. This happens not only with asians but of course with second and third generations of Europeans too. Maybe what is being noticed is this "intra-cultural" gap which doesn't falls into any other catgory...?
Although I agree with the outmarriage
perspective above, I'd have to check stats to see if the same is true here... As far as Jpn male stats go, I only know is that it used to be Jpn women who married outmore, but in the last 5-10 years it is beginning to be the men by a growing margin. Though a portion of this is in the realm of male order Russian brides in much the same way as western men mail order Asian wives.
I also think that too many asian guys do hype-notice the race difference, but that it is can also be used in that humble complimentary way that is cautiously probing. It's better than that "I'm a WHITE guy from the greatest country on earth!" attitude. UGH! Arrogance is the BIGGEST turnoff.
And guys who invest many hours developing their bods instead of their sensitivities are a close second.
WWWLAM
Friday, January 04, 2002 at 06:30:36 (PST)
While reading some of these posts I get the sense that some people see AW/WM relationships as being completely rampant. Sure I've noticed it but I still see an even greater number of AF/AM relationships. Besides, what do you expect living in an ethnically diverse country? Did you think that this sort of thing wouldn't happen? In my personal experience (please keep in my that it is just my personal experience) that there are just as many AM who would only date WF as there are AF that will only date WM. I say, rather then look for an AF or WF, look for someone that will be good for you. Relationships are hard enough these days without having to add ethnic issues in the mix.
just some guy
Friday, January 04, 2002 at 00:49:17 (PST)
To Twinkie,
Yours was a gratifying post to read. It's really nice to know, and realize, that there are unprejudiced women like you out there. The problem that we AM's experience is that many women are influenced by media depictions and it seems the majority have bought in to the constant denigration of AM's that occurs in American media. It is a problem that we AM's need to address with the media of this country. Nevertheless, your point is well taken; that AM's should focus more on the significant number of unprejudiced women that exist, such as yourself, and ignore racist women, as they are unsuitable prospective mates anyways. Thanks for having a mind of your own and not being a media pawn.
Naki
Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 19:08:58 (PST)
First off, instead of sitting here complaining, why don't you all go out and change what you think is wrong? Whatever with how badly AM are portrayed by the media. If you think that is, go out and change it. If most AM look like Russell Wong, Chow-Yun Fat or so damn agile and cute like Jet Li, the media will get the picture. People aren't blind. They can see what's good and what's not. Women aren't the only ones who are subjected to constant appearance brain-washing. Women need to look perfectly trim to be beautiful. Why don't all you males go out and exercise or hit the gym? At the very least, it's good for the health. When the opposite sex of the same race doesn't want to date you, there's really something wrong with you, not the opposite sex. My bf, who is Asian by the way, is one hell of a guy. I would not trade him for ANY GUY OF ANY RACE. He's perfect. He's got style, confidence, a body to match, and brains that match Einstein's. Plus, he's such a sweet thing.
AF and damn proud of it
Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 16:57:57 (PST)
Twinkie, I agree with you completely. Race only becomes an issue if you make it one.
RockHardAzn
Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 16:47:10 (PST)
Asian Rambo,
So, you are a sociologist, well, I'm not. But I'll give you my 2 cents anyway. I'm a white female, and I don't understand this problem Asian guys say they have with white females. I don't see you as wimps, nerds, geeks, etc. I can find many of you attractive, just as I can find men of other races attractive. It's my belief that if you make race an issue, then it will be an issue. Maybe, just maybe, it's you who aren't really giving us a chance. Perhaps you have it in your mind already that we will reject you. Why, I don't know, because we are as human as anybody else. And we are not God's preferred creatures, of this I am sure. Or, maybe you are aiming for females out of your league. You know, a six hoping to land a nine. Maybe you are just a nice guy who has had a round of bad luck with white women. It happens. I may be totally off the mark here, but I wish you would explain to me exactly why it is the Asian male thinks the white female will reject him, or why they are rejecting you? You guys have it going on! I apologize if I misunderstood your post, and I'm not going to assume you are some loser looking for an excuse. I don't know you, and I know not to assume the worst about you. Anyway, I don't think being Asian is a bad thing. You guys are cool!!!!.....:)
Twinkie
Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 11:30:36 (PST)
Tabitha,
Sounds very terrible.
Just be a friend and support her.
There really no biggie if your asian friend likes white people.
Anyways what so hard about meeting a sucessful asian dude that works out at a gym. You make it sound like they don't exist. I know plenty of asian male players in NYC finacial district.
They are all on corporate fast track and dress like a GQ mag.
AC dropout
Wednesday, January 02, 2002 at 11:00:38 (PST)
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