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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage is't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
AC Dropout,
"Judge the person, not the race. This is especially true in relationships."
Nicely said bro, I like your posts.
Thanks,
Kevin Yang
Monday, January 14, 2002 at 10:15:22 (PST)
'As I read through many of the articles and comments on this site, it's obvious that much of the content would have to be filed under "fiction." One such example is the article "Coming Home to an Asian Woman."'
Well, I also have the same opinion of Goldsea. There is a lot of fluff. However, one cannot deny that there are a lot of successful Asian Americans. Or that AAs overall have the highest median income and education of all ethnic groups in the US.
Your assertion implies that the above article is fiction. However, in my experience the pairing of AM with WF is quite real. Of AM professionals that I personally know, 100% are married to WF, including 2 blondes. So what is the big fuss?
'...how can Asian males excoriate any White man who prefers Asian women because of their race?
I'm just wondering what explains the double standard.'
I don't have a problem with WM who prefer AFs, go for it. It is just fine.
Now, there are a few AMs who don't take kindly to that, you would have to ask them what their beef is. There are claims of fetishism, or colonial mentality, or the "traditional wife" stereotype. (Which is BS BTW, of all marriages between AF and WM I would say the AF is dominant in most). But to me, it is a win-win situation when WMs date certain AFs. Those AFs are generally not suitable for AMs and therefore the best thing possible is for them to marry/date WMs.
Miscegenation is great
Monday, January 14, 2002 at 09:15:55 (PST)
I don't get why people want to blame the media for AMs not being at the top of the sexual totem pole. Either the people blaming the media are mush-brained idiots or they are trying to cover up something. I have not been exposed to AMs in the media, but I think that the are the sexiest men! When I was a little girl all I saw was White & Black men, unless it was Saturday Afternoon Kung Fu. Little girls shouldn't have been thinking about the stuff that was going on in my head while watching K.F. movies! Not to sound racist, but I preferred the golden guys trying to kill each other over the pasty White hairballs (i.e. Bruce Lee VS Chuck Norris in Return [Way] Of The Dragon). Don't get me wrong, there are lots of cute WMs out there, but I prefer Asian males. What was my deal? Why didn't I fit into this media-based mold? Gee, let me think. Could it be that I CAN THINK FOR MYSELF!?! Who would you go for, Brad Pitt or Rick Yune? Be for real.
AsioPhile 81- Media Influence Me Bloody Arse
Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 23:35:10 (PST)
"I'm just wondering what explains the double standard."
there is no double standard. who gives a hoot on which ethnicity dates another in this day and age in america? the only problem are the excuses being made. listen to any AF excuse for not dating AM and take "race" out of the excuses and see if they make any sense at all. the whole point is that nobody cares about "inter-racial dating," but the excuses AF make trying to make AM look bad and in effect make AF the "good people" is not acceptable. that's what the "DIVIDE" is addressing.
villageidiot
Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 21:14:30 (PST)
Obsession with Race & Marrying Up:
The other night, I was taking the subway home from work, a bum came up to me on and begged for money.
This happens quite often whether on the subway or downtown in the city. I often just feel pity for them and would either ignore them or once in a while I'd give them some pocket change. They look so pityful.
I decided give this guy a dollar bill and he was so ever grateful. I thought to myself what did this guy do to end up in this situation?
Then a strange thing occured to me. I thought to myself, this guy is a white man, and he has a tough life, despite the fact. So many Asian Americans it seems like would give anything to be White, to be accepted by the white society and date Whites. Meanwhile, they dont realize how good some of them have it. They just obsess with their non-whiteness and put down their own race, either through explicit descrimination or suttle intra-racisms: depicting self-hatred..changing themselves physically, etc.
The fact of the matter is that race is just one component or our being. We as individuals are so much more than just our race.
The above was not to put down whites in anyway. The bum just happened to be white.
Why live a clouded life where one's perceptions are clouded by race, and especially a dislike for one's own race? It must seem so unimportant to this guy begging on the street.
Modern AA Male Perspective
Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 21:05:49 (PST)
I asked how it could be that the infrequent images of AMs in the media could have a greater influence in shaping AF perceptions of AMs than real life contact has, especially since most AFs have extensive real life contact with AMs. One response posed an analogy to the effect of images of ultra-thin models on girls who develop anorexia or bulimia. I think the analogy is flawed for several reasons and actually does much to disprove the poster's point.
First, such cases of anorexia and bulimia as there are are not simply otherwise-normal females responding to the influence of media images of ultra-thin models, even though such images are much more common than disparaging images of AMs. Besides a wealth of research showing underlying genetic, brain malformation, and brain injury causes of anorexia and bulimia, there a numerous and varied theories of underlying psychological pathologies that can manifest themselves as anorexia and bulimia. Contrary to the poster's implication, media images don't explain the existence of eating disorders any better than they explain AF perceptions of AMs, again, especially since there has been such a dearth of AM images.
More significant, though, as regards the usefulness of the poster's eating disorder analogy is the fact that, as common as ultra-thin model images may be, anorexia and bulimia are extremely rare. Even according to the link the poster provided, only 2% of females 15-30 years old are affected, likely the most-affected group by far. The vast majority of women -- without biological or underlying psychological disorders -- are exposed to the same images of ultra-thin models and never develop anorexia or bulimia. And although the raw numbers of anorexia and bulimia cases may be increasing, the incidence of these disorders hasn't increased since a voluptuous Marilyn Monroe sang "Happy Birthday" to JFK.
Simply put, a plethora of media images of ultra-thin models won't explain the (very low and static) rate of eating disorders, nor will the infrequent disparaging media images of AMs explain AF perceptions of AMs, whatever those perceptions honestly may be.
Maybe someone else can connect the dots for me.
Roger
Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 18:27:25 (PST)
I agree with Asian Girls comment, this is about the ASIAN gender divide, we hear enough from other people what to do, who knows better then Asians what our gender issues are.... sheesh bug off some people
Asian funny guy
Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 15:48:06 (PST)
To P-NOY, my experience with Filipino guys dating and/or marrying white women is that I've seen it rarely, and it's generally when the Filipino guy is VERY good looking! For instance, a few years ago I knew a married couple in the Washington, DC area. The white girl was about 24, quite attractive, about 5'5" tall light-brown to blonde hair and green eyes, and her husband was also about 23-34, a Filipino guy, and very good looking and about 5'7" tall. I wish more white girls would see how attractive some Filipino guys can be. This girl loved her husband and wouldn't look at any other guy, and their daughter was beautiful. This was pretty amazing in an area of the country where the attractive single WF go almost exclusively for tall WM or tall BM. I guess when the guy is that good looking his lack of height didn't matter.
DC White Dude
Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 13:58:01 (PST)
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