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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage is't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Conspiracy against the Asian Race 1,
First off if you live in an urban setting in America with a lot of asian. You will see billboards all over the place with Asian. I was shopping for clothes the other day in a Gap in an Asian community and there was this huge posters with only Asains on it. I thought I was in Hang Ten (asian version of Gap) instead of the Gap.
No one is try to kill off the asian race. No more than they are trying to kill off the white race.
Everytime I flip open a Chinese Newspaper or the Japanese paper. All I see is beautiful fashionable asian people. It is not like they are not out there already.
AC Dropout
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 08:05:36 (PST)
An interesting example of how the gender divide is alive on the recent MTV program "Dismissed" caught my attention.
The premise of the show is a date of three people at the end of which one is chosen to be dismissed as a third wheel or least desirable of two choices.
Last night featured an asian girl, an asian guy, and a white guy.
During the course of the date the asian guy was most attentive, courteous, and thoughtful and the asian woman gave the impression that she both recognized and appreciated the attention given by the asian guy. On the other hand the white dude was boostful, brash, and clearly lacked any real romantic or gentlemanly qualities and the asian girl even verbalized his lack of attention and manners, and his aggresive "hands on" approach to being romantic. At the end of the show the party doing the choosing gives a brief explantion for his/her choice to dismiss. The asian girl thanked the asian guy for being a nice guy who was romantic, respectful, and attentive. She then acknowledged the white guy was brash, aggressive, and cocky in his attitude. Then she proceeded to DISMISS the asian guy,
and choose to go on with the white guy.
Go figure !!!!!
Conclusion: More asian women are becoming materialistic, status seeking,
whitewashed and brainwashed and have abandoned the wonderful qualities that has made them desirable for so long.
Too bad !
Neither asian nor white, just objective viewer
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 08:04:09 (PST)
telling it like it is,
get a life.
your asian counterparts seems to get the idea.
who cares who you're dating.
white gal
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 07:53:57 (PST)
i know i'm way off topic but i just want to know if being called somewhat pretty or somewhat atrractive is a compliment
just curious
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 07:49:43 (PST)
'Telling it like it is': mind if I beerpiss on your original scholarly dissertation and expose your effort to hurt the feelings of others? You took the time to point out how many "dorky" white guys there are with Asian women out there, yet you failed to draw attention to a possibly equal number of "dorky" Asian guys that are with white females, or the number of (insert racial combination you waste your time disliking the most here.) Why did you elect to point out the AF/WM pairing?
Half & Half: I think you're on the right track - that you fall in love with whoever - and I wish it was always the case. But listen, if your pet peeve is white men with a thing for Asian women, how do you feel about Asian men who only prefer Asian women? Or once an Asian male falls in love with a white woman, has he suddenly developed a preference for white women? How about gentlemen who prefer blondes?
It goes without saying that Asians to this day face stereotyping from Hollywood. They have yet to regularly cast Asians in roles that extend beyond the usual "Oriental mystery" crap. White Washington aims to integrate an unfortunately balkanized American fabric, Madison Avenue separates and stereotypes minorites - with soul-soundtrack fast food commercials for African-Americans or Asian-Americans in eyeglass ads holding chopsticks.
Inevitably, though, Asian-American boards always come back to the same goddamned thing: white guys with Asian women, and provide an anonymous forum for Asian males to vent their frustration - even though white men marrying Asians are still an obvious minority. Many of those here who resort to name-calling highlight this dissatisfaction, and aim to scorn others from interracial unions back into more predictable ethnic cliques.
I have no desire to continue a copy/paste party to repeatedly justify or explain my position, so I'll leave my shillings on the table and give you the last word. If you don't take the time to remember anything I've said, then just remember this: make friends with people for who they are rather than what they are, and let people love who they want to.
Ellery
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 07:47:41 (PST)
AM Truth:
Your ignorance is showing. I dare suggest that you know nothing about Black men based on your stupid and thoughtless assumptions.
You probably will never know anything about how Black men treat women.
As far as competing in the business and educational world with whites, Black men not only compete but must exceed the accomplishments of white men EVERDAY !!!
Black men do so and SUCCEED which you should know unless you're living in a cave ! The leading neurosurgeon Dr. Benjamin Carson for example a poor black
kid from a family of ten, a Black man.
Just one example my friend, get off your lazy ass and try reading to find out more.
tap tap
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 07:40:26 (PST)
I am a WFmarried to a Chinese man with a beautiful baby son. We have some friends that are both AF/WM and also AM/WF. They vary in degrees of attractiveness, some being very attractive, some being not attractive by societys standards But we still maintain that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that they may share a love and bond that is not obvious to the mere outsider. My husband and I both have dated inside and outside of our race before we met and married. Everyone may have personal preferences to what attracts them< humourous people, a certain eye color they think is pretty, body type etc.>. Perhaps these people truly love each other and are not prejudice and really prefer each other? That is one aspect of love that really is too personal between two people to analyze. I did not seek out to fall in love with a Chinese man, nor was I opposed to it or any race. He just happened to be the most wonderful , beautiful, handsome man in the world and I fell in love with him. Sometimes love can transcend prejudices. Lets not be so angry and prejudice about inter-racial relationships. When someone falls in love with someone outside of their race, I do not think that makes them ugly nor a lesser person nor a "traitor to their race". It just means they followed their heart.
Hannybunbun
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 06:32:07 (PST)
To All:
I know there's a conspiracy going on against the AM in America. I've hung around people of other races and they tell lies and stereotypes about AM. Yes these are stereotypes and certainly it's not all true. I'm nothing like any of the AM stereotypes. You have to remember that the term Asian is a general term. There are many kind of Asians such as chinese, jap, korean, taiwan, and me, Indonesian Chinese. Maybe a certain asian race fits the sterotype but not the others, you know.
Now you can see the conspiracy yourself when you look at the media. I've never seen an AM on a commercial, on a billboard, on an advertisement, on a product box and hardly ever on TV or Movies. The last time I can remember was Romeo Must Die. Now there's a movie where AM are seen as Gods for once.
The media has the power to brainwash and influence the world. In war, they use the media as a tool for propaganda. That's why so many AF are abandoning the AM because they don't see the AM as being manly and attractive.
The conspiracy is from men of other races. Other races hate the AM because of jealousy. I'm not sure where the conpiracy originated from, but somewhere, some group is trying to kill off the Asian race.
I will always want to marry an Asian Female even if I can marry a girl outside of my race. I'm proud of my race. I want my kids to look fully Asian. I want them to look like me or their mother. I want them to have straight black hair and almond shaped kind of slanted dark brown eyes. Tan brownish yellowish skin. Slim, slender and well built, about 5'8" HEEHAAAAWOW.
Think about it, if a good looking AM hooks up with a good looking AF, their child would be like a god or goddes wouldn't it? I'm not worried, it's the AF that are missing out on the AM.
Conspiracy against the Asian Race 1
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 01:12:40 (PST)
Mr. Aronson:
Jewish people like to spread the idea that East Asians and Jews are similar, but I never really saw where they're coming from, and it's a really insufficient explanation for the liberal NY-AF with liberal NY-Jew male. Sure we can talk about broad concepts like "emphasis on education" and "being a successful minority," but that overlooks some significant cultural differences.
Most East Asians have immediate ancestors who came from homelands where they are used to being the majority, unlike most Jews (except Israeli-Americans), so, no cultural tradition of dealing with people of different heritages at close range. Furthermore, with apologies to Steve Sailer: East Asians come from a Confucian heritage of emphasis on scholarship, yes, but also on hierarchy, a distrust of people who are too eloquent and facile with words. There are some notable minorities in the US who are a lot more similar to Jews. For example, Armenians and Parsees: score above average on IQ tests, excellent verbal skills, come from homelands where they were urban dwellers controlling commerce with surrounding farmers, suffered massacres back home, and had no where else to run cuz they're a numerical minority in the world.
Also all things are not equal, AF are NOT 25 times more likely to meet a WM than AM, and definitely not 25 times as likely to meet one with similar cultural values, outlook and goals in life, etc. 4% of AA in the US does not mean every school room in America has 1.2 Asian kids. Most AA are concentrated on the coasts in urban areas, and aside from schools, will often attend other social activities (language school, church, community centers) which are 100% Asian. Something else is at work here.
Third, by the third generation, immigrants can no longer speak the language of their grandparents is a myth. Jews were doing just fine in countries all over the world including this one speaking ancestral language. Rural and mostly illiterate Quebecers who came to America in the 1860s to work in sweatshops managed to get 4 generations of their progeny speaking in French (until the U.S. government took over their schools and the Irish took over their churches). Lots of 8th-generation Chinese in Malaysia speak Chinese well enough to pass Taiwan's university entrance exams and go to college there.
Finally, most AM I know are specifically looking for an AF, at least in the end as the time for marriage comes, rather than for any pretty girl who comes along.
I don't worry so much about the interracial dating as about MASSIVE DISINFORMATION spread by the media about interracial dating and assimilation of minorities in this country.
T.H. Lien
Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 20:52:23 (PST)
I agree that the JM/AF relates to the mutual expectations both have been raised to be proper and studious and educated.
However, that the fact that alot of AF's are dating Dorky and Ugly White Guys are beyond me.
So the Questions I have is if they are dating all these Dorky and Ugly White Guys instead of good, upstanding and handsome and educated Asian men, are we to just sit by and just get the scraps left for us? and we are to just sit by and not complain and say "WELL, that's how life is if you're not white and dorky-looking"?
Are we not to be upset that the AF chooses an exact duplicate of what a Dorky and Ugly guy is but not choose him because he is not white??? (HINT: AFer's: I have seen that happen to my buddy he lost out to a A-girl because she told him that he was too dorky but then later she starts dating an even bigger white DORK than him!)
My Background;
I have dated lots of girls outside of my culture and I know alot of white girls and other ethnic women who don't like White guys because they are too BORING and insufferable to even date them. They like Asian Guys because we are different. We don't get into the Macho Commacho type deal like the other races like the Hispanics and Blacks and we can compete in the business and educational world with whites.
So you see ASIAN Men you don't have to take it from anyone anymore including the Rogers or Janet Chang-HAWKINS of the world. They know we are the real deal. What they fear is the Asian Man emerging from the shit created by the sellouts and white minority society to keep us down so that we are easier to control but those days are over now.
Times are changin, we all have to be more confidence with ourselves and our abilities and not let this society or sellout Bit@#es put you down. I always LOL at all these WM/AF relationships all the time because the asian girl thinks she is hot shit and moving on up to the east side. But you fell sorry for them because no matter how you look at it, she is still a Asian women and having a last name like Hawkins is not going to prevent someone call her a Gook.
I've talk to some A-women who cried that someone called her a 'chink' and she said "That's not supposed to happen I married a White Guy so this stuff doesn't happen" Well, wake up this is America. What the hell do you expect that people will bow down to your presence just because you married White?
I don't think so. This is reality and racism and prejudism is alive and well here. Either you can deny it or fight it. Say the same to your white friend and they may or may not know where you are coming from. "RACISM? Prejudism? I don't see any. Well I wouldn't either if I feel the whole world revolve around my milk covered glasses..
AM Truth
Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 20:47:13 (PST)
To Craig
I do have to agree with your views regarding why asian and jews get together. However, I must point out that in your other post you mention that AF are more likely by 25 times to meet a WM than as AM. You attribute some of this because of cross-fertilization . If that is so true should not cross-fertilization happen to every race in equal amounts. What I mean is why are there not white women or black women chasing after asian men because of cross-fertilization? But, you see asian women chasing after white men and vice verser.
Jo.
Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 16:02:58 (PST)
22 year old Catholic girl,
"I think deep down you Asian guys probably want to go out with a white girl but can't so you get mad at Asian gals who do."
Actually most Asian guys I know play the field with different ethnicity. But when it comes time to settle down they will choose an AF for various reasons. Not to say that some won't keep a WF mistress on the side once their married.
One of the dark side to the sucessful male in Asian culture is that a mistress is sure to follow without the taboo.
Half n' Half,
"Besides, you can't help who you fall in love with, plain and simple."
That's ridiculous. Sure you can. If you surround yourself with AM around the phase of you life when you become sexually active....you will fall in love with AM. Not to bore people on the board with the psycho-chemical reaction called "love" caused by natural amphetamine in our systems. There have been whole field of psychology and bio-chemistry devoted to this field.
The question becomes more about wether you individually wish to change your affinity for WM, due to you upbringing. Or you wish to go with the current mating template you developed over the years.
Of course their are those on this board who place value on wether you go with an AM or WM in your future. I do not. I only impart this information to inform you that you are empowered to make a change in yourself if you choose.
quadricorrelator,
"Remember, that by the third generation,immigrants can no longer speak the language of their grandparents."
That would depend, the Quakers in PA still speak German. It is really dependent on the value of each individual family to push the literacy of the children in the native tongue. Even though a majority will not. There are those that will still be quite fluent in their native tongue.
Your analysis of the Jews and Asian you left out that the individuals perceives themselve as usually being maginalized within their own respective groups. Whether the self perception of the individual is accurate is another issue. Hence, a Brookyln Hesitic Jew is not going to be settling down with a Thai Buddist women anytime soon. Usually in these Jew/Asian relationship. You are looking at a pork eating, raw clam swallowing, diary spilling Jew with another marginalized asian.
AC dropout
Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 11:40:11 (PST)
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