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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage is't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
FOP,
Published in Taiwan....
I highly doubt Taiwan or HK is going to make a TV show about that story. When was the last time you saw an inter-racial soap opera produced in HK, Taiwan, or China.
As for movies I could see that story being produced. But you would never see the white person. Chinese movies almost never show a white person on the big screen as a romantic lovers. You will have characters who are married to white people. But you never see the white person.
Like "Yi, Yi" one of the women was married to a white guy and has an affair with her highschool sweet heart. No where in the movie to you see the white husband.
Or in the Maggie Chung comedy. Where she sleeps with a white guy and chinese guy. And doesn't know if the baby will have "blue or brown eyes." The White guys gets no screen time compared to the Chinese guy.
Just like Hollywood doesn't want to see a virle asian male. The Chinese audience doesn't want to see any superior white characters either. So even if it is produce they will probably emphasis she another lost Chinese soul type of character, instead of the inter-racial part of the story.
If Ang Lee makes the film with an American studio backing it. Then I would worry.
AC Dropout
Friday, March 01, 2002 at 08:42:40 (PST)
AC Dropout,
**LOL!** You're right on - only Royal chinless highbrows could produce a goblin like Harry Pothead. But I'll give you one more crack at it: not Austrian and not Australian. Hint: "No _____ Need Apply." And point taken - if a person, man or woman, white or Asian - elects to avoid dating or associating with another race entirely in favor of another, then this is a textbook definition of 'racism'. What I have seen on some other posts though, is the amount of aversion towards Asian females that Asian males don't know personally - for dating non-Asians.
Unless we were to actually be familiar with an individual, we cannot know a person's dating history from walking arm-in-arm with someone else. Many have posted childish accusations of being "whitewashed" and "selling out" towards Asian women who they feel have committed some kind of an injustice for not choosing an Asian male as a partner, and that's wrong. If, for example, Aaron Kwok were walking hand-in-hand with Heidi Klum as a couple, we should not assume that Aaron is so prejudiced against Asian women as to only date white women, anymore than we could prove, for example, that Brad Pitt's prejudices against white women are evidenced by his relationship with Kelly Hu. (I would be slaphappy in the presence of either women, but that's a different story.) If their reasons for meeting one another are so shallow as to be predicated on race, then chances are the relationship won't last very long. But if they have found interest in each other's character, then the interracialism of their relationship is ancillary.
As for the lack of a strong self-image by Asian women being behind the Asian gender gap, I would need to balance Asian men as well into this same paradigm to make an accurate comparison. To suggest that Asian women that date interracially have a low self-esteem would leave Asian men also open to this example - and to those others that make the accusations of having a low self-esteem themselves…in effect, the accusers could be accused of the accusations they accuse. Additionally, if dating interracially would imply a lack of self-esteem, what about intraracial dating? Do monoracial couples meet one another simply because they lack enough of a positive self-image that precludes them from associating with others from different backgrounds?
Lastly, as to whether an Asian female would propagate anti-Asian male views toward her children; then we can only hope and pray that these children would learn that their mother was unjustified and incorrect in her blanket assumptions. But without examples, I suspect these women are the exception.
Ellery
Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 20:45:13 (PST)
Hey AA,
guess what??? THE MEDIA IS TO BLAME!!!!! First off, would you like to know why their is such a horrid imbalance of interracial dating? Well everyone here shouldn't be suprised when in the media EVERY asian girl is paired up with a white guy while asian guy's are romantically involved with...no one! Would you like to know why white guy's are so aggressive towards asian girls?? It's because they THINK THEY'RE EASY!!! If the media shows them only with white guys, what do you think the white guy's are gonna think? DUH??? The reality is that white guys think their god's gift to asian women because their fellow asian men can't "please" them...and another thing, guess why most asian guy's are shy? WOULDN'T YOU BE IF PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE ONLY SHOWN AS UNATTRACTIVE????? I'd like to date a white girl but guess what? How do I know any girl outside my race is even attracted to me when not only is it never shown in the media, but what is shown is every single unattractive stereotype you can have of a guy. So AA, don't give me that bull****, the media already determines how we act whether you realize it or not.
Chinese Exlcusion Act
Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 19:24:56 (PST)
hannybun:
"First off when a Asian and a White marry, the offspring becomes both Asian and White. So that simple point alone should tell you that the child of the union will be embracing both races."
Sorry. I'm not even gonna get into
"Race", but ethnicity is SOCIALLY constructed identity. Requires some command of language and customs before you can claim such an identity without everyone politely smiling, nodding, and laughing once you leave the room. Most mixed-race kids simply aren't Asian, can't survive in an Asian culture, can't make it in that world. Fact of socialization and being raised in the U.S. Most of the mixed race Chinese kids I met in HK, based on listening to them speak (if I talk on the phone, for example) I can't tell them from either a US/UK native or an HK native. But it's not the same in the US. If it were otherwise, I doubt you'd find so much controversy over this "gender divide" issue.
T.H. Lien
Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 17:40:56 (PST)
"once a sellout":
You're gonna have to elaborate...how exactly does a person's identity "die" when s/he is of mixed heritage? You said the kids classified themselves as "half Chinese, half Irish, and All-American." Isn't that an identity? Just because they can't give you a ONE-WORD answer, that means they have no identity?? They HAVE identified themselves--with not 1 or 2, but with all 3 races/cultures. They sound very comfortable and proud of their mixed heritage, so who are you to say they are lost when it comes to identity?
Like "Be" said, they have an expanded cultural view. That is such a beautiful thing, and beyond anything you will ever be open-minded enough to appreciate.
Open-Minded
Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 17:31:01 (PST)
Look, people. The reason there is a relatively high outmarriage rate is that Asians only make up 4% of the total US population. That means 90% of the time, we really do not get to interact a lot with each other. So it's natural there's high outmarriage rate.
TOHELLandBACK
TOHELLandBACK321@aol.com
Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 14:52:28 (PST)
Hannybunbun,
[As for calling white people the "enemy", perhaps that in itself is a racist comment and is a discriminating one.]
When the people invade you country, annex your land. Then keep you people out of their open society with dicriminatory immigration laws. And on top of that throw people into interment camps. Whereupon, they set up a society where it is obvious that some are created more equal than others,....Well it kind of hard to forget all that, hence it is easier to considered them evil.
AC Dropout
Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 14:37:05 (PST)
AA,
Many AA Men are more focused with $$$ and career advancement/upward mobility than with love. White Men in general are much more complacent, and for them to be the majority in the US, they reap the many benefits as well. Therefore, they are less busy with the many "the pain in the #ss" difficulties in life and have the time to learn to socialize and foster all kinds of relationships.
This is the general basis for the imblance. It has nothing to do with culture or genes. If so, then no guy in Asia will be asking a girl out for a date!
Further, the gender divide is more apparent among Koreans, Japanese and Filipinos but less with the Chinese. The 1st 3 groups have more of an inferiority complex towards whites, while many Chinese see whites as equals or less. Chinese also are less inclined to treat white people with much respect as with the other groups. I hear many of them say that Koreans, Japanese and Filipinos are polite towards them but the Chinese are ALWAYS an exception.
Gender Divide varies among the Asian groups
Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 13:02:54 (PST)
asian american male:
its unfortunate discrimination exist in this world...we have all experienced it, some more so than others. from your comments, you come off as a 'white-american-hater'. fighting back with that "eye for an eye" mindset is only going to fuel the flame. you should know this, unless you're living in denial land.
you said that 50% of AA and 75% of white americans can be labeled as racist. these are very high figures...and perhaps racism is this prevalent in YOUR world...but it is also very likely that these so-call-haters seem that way b/c they're reflecting from your 'hater' attitude.
T.H. LIEN:
my comment on 'multiple ethnicity being the most beautiful in this world'..was strictly my opinion. i find people who possess the 'one-of-a-kind' look..more beautiful than what the media labels as beautiful. you have the right not to believe as i do.
it sounds like you are saying..only those who can "speak the language and function in the culture" are good enough to be classified as a person who truly understands their heritage. got newflash for you...we are human..and we are not all born being the perfect person or living in a perfect environment. a person CAN possess a DESIRE to understand their heritage, w/o speaking the language or functioning in the culture. we should give praise to them, as well.
to all:
there are many people who are not full-blooded asian, yet are interesting in our culture. WE SHOULD BE TAKING THIS AS A COMPLIMENT!! some of you possess so much resentment in your life..u blind yourself when good things comes along. open your eyes people...the only ones who's hurting the asian culture is yourself for neglecting everyone else from understanding it!!!
and to all those who are complaining about asian females being sellouts...you need to change yourself, before you expect others to change for you. also, all that whining you guys are doing...confirms that ya'll are more talk than action. u want an asian girl..be confident in yourself and ask one out!!!
be
Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 12:24:59 (PST)
therealtruth,
Attitude can make all the difference in the world when it comes to looks. A bad attitude can make a beautiful person ugly, just as a good attitude can make a plain (or even ugly) person attractive. Men probably care more about looks then women, and of course there are always exceptions. I would consider myself an attractive female, and if I met a guy who wasn't great looking but was a great person overall, then I would cherish him for who he was and not how he looked.
A Woman's Perspective
Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 10:36:23 (PST)
T.H. Lien,
So they make up their own hapa culture. Like that on Hawaii when there number are large enough. I met a few hapa kids in college, mostly girls. I guess coming to mainland for higher education wasn't popular with guys. But these girls were very well adjust and comfortable with themselves.
Unlike some of my hapa family members growing up in Canada and mainland USA, they are just not well adjusted at all at their age.
AC dropout
Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 10:28:29 (PST)
"Have you experienced this? You're in a public place walking down the street, or in a classroom etc. and this white looking guy gives you a dirty look with a sneer on his lips."
Mostly experienced it from white American women. When we first came to this country in 1979, whites were the majority here in Arlington, VA. White women and girls used to yell at every one of us. My sister bore the brunt of their attacks in her high school. My mother had coke cans thrown at her.
On July 1, 2000, I had an experience with a white woman on a trip between Pittsburg and Cleveland. She had no choice but to sit next to me. She had more of a sneer from her long sharp pointed nose than from her lips and she kept sneering at me at the Cleveland airport after I got off.
"What is their problem? Is it racism? Why are some white people racist? Do they really think that God is white with blond hair and blue eyes? Why is there the idea of White Supremacy?"
They think so especially ones from Northern Georgia and across the rural south and Rocky Mountain states. But, they do not have half the education of an average Asian or Asian American. Another problem is in many ex-colonies in Asia and Africa being white pays. The locals worship the whites.
"By the way, type up the words White Supremacy in a search engine and you will find lots of info about it."
I did. 70% of white families in Cumming, Georgia belong to one white supremacist group or the other.
"There is Justice in this Universe.
The sea constantly cleans itself of wastes.
You reap what you sow."
Before the Civil Rights Laws of 1964 and the Immigration Act of 1965 (which removed the exclusionary rules favoring whites), every President since 1940 elected in the year ending '0' died in office. Many Christians believe that this curse was lifted only because the whites finally came around to giving non-whites equal rights at least in law. Rev. Billy Graham's daughter also argues that racism, confederate flag waving, removal of God from public life, using God and Jesus to defend racism (Bob Jones University)and general lack of repentance for racist and other sins has meant that God has lifted the protection from America...more sever hurricanes, tornados in Forsyth and other counties of Northern Georgia, leading to loss of lives and yes, September 11th along with high profile killings by white boys in other racist towns such as Jonesboro, AR and Littleton, CO.
Asian American Male
Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 08:34:10 (PST)
Actually AC Dropout, my mother and I both are vegetarians. And I became a baptised Christian at the age of 17, of my own searching for faith. I don't believe in following blindly, my professor explained to me about communism when i was in college, and used the example of how it never took root within the heart of all of the people because people have such a need to search things out, instead of being mindless drones. I believe you should always search out things for yourself, while keeping a respectful eye on your family culture. There are many things in cultures that have changed because it was not for the good of the race. Change sometimes insures survival of the race and culture. My husband is Catholic and his grandparents are Buddhist. He still respects them although it is not his personal belief. My sister-in-law ,who is Chinese , went against her family and cultural tradition of staying home for a month after her baby was born and she took a shower and washed her hair.. two things her family told her not to do. She said she did it because she did not want nasty hair for a month and her husband would never agree to the one month of no bathing. Yet, my mother-in-law did these things and tells me she is firm in her allegience to them and we should do them too out of respect for the Chinese culture. And AC Drop-out, although it sounds as if you got quite a kick out of your LSD trip at one time, I see love as it is, wonderful, imperfect, and human. Not as an acid trip.
hannybunbun
Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 08:17:13 (PST)
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