|
|
|
|
|
GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:56 AM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage is't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
CONTACT US
|
ADVERTISING INFO
© 1996-2013 Asian Media Group Inc
No part of the contents of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission.
|
|
|
|
WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
AC Dropout
Charlies Angels '76-80, Bionic woman'76-78 and Wonder Woman '76-79 were mid-seventies shows. You said you were in your late twenties- Mens First Date board. If you're 29 and born in 1972, you must have been watching those shows when you were 4 to 8 yrs old. That's unlikely for that age group and even unlikelier if you were younger. I doubt you were watching reruns of all three shows in the eighties. You must be in your late thirties or early forties.
33 year old father of two
Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 05:24:14 (PST)
Villageidiot:
"hey vancouver canuck, what's stopping the AM from seeing other types of women then if 50% of the city is asian? [...] let me guess, there's the negative stereotype associated with the first-gen and the AM bashing by the sellouts and WM, right?"
The short answer is that, with AM's out of the picture, caucasian guys get double the fun. To give you some idea, these are actual profiles from a personals website serving Vancouver.
alias: BBGirl
age: 18
"My Dream Mate has bright blue eyes, dirty blond or light brown hair, average weight, 6feet 2inches, can cook, is independent and responsible. It would also be nice for him to be charming and funny. Sense of humour is a total must. Wow...that kinda narrows it down doesn't it? =) Newayz, I'm not looking for anything too serious so pls. noone too clingy...sweetness is good but not too much."
alias: freakqueen
age: 19
"Yeah, ok, wuts there to know? I'm an asain, born and raised here in beautiful british columbia. I hate long term shiznit. I'm more of a relationship without any strings. None of that I own you. You have to listen to me shiznit.
I have a fetish for white, tall guys. I DO date other guys, it just requires me to actually get to know them. (you know, their personality, wut they like to do, yada yada yada) Where as.. if u're white, tall, and not over 20... i'm instantly attracted."
I don't know if this happens in other places too, but in Vancouver (UBC in particular), the AF's signal their availability to WM's by going to a tanning salon and tanning themselves really dark to attain an "exotic Asian sex-toy" look... and then they _all_ wear these Mountain Equipment Co-op jackets as a hidden "I prefer white men" signal.
As for the availability of white girls... From casual observation around campus (where I live) there are actually more WM/AF couples than WM/WF couples! The distinction is very clear: the attractive white guys go out with white girls while the average to sub-par white guys go out with AF's. As far as WF/AM romantic couples (not including my own experience) I've only seen TWO such couples this academic year!!! From my own experience, I've found that only 1% of caucasian women are predisposed towards an Asian fetish. But my situation is distinct from that of most Asian guys here in Vancouver... I'm not an FOB, my family are mainlander Taiwanese (hence I'm tall and attractive by western standards ;-) and I often hang with white guys.
Here's a cursory calculation:
Student population of UBC: 30,000
Number of Asians: 15,000
Number of Asian females: 7,500
Number of English-speaker AF's: 3,000
Number of WM/AF couples: 3,000
Number of AM/WF couples (aforementioned): 3
... for a whopping ratio of 1,000 : 1
Vancouver Canuck
Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 02:44:41 (PST)
AC DROPOUT:
"If you look at your own assumption as why non-asian like AF, isn't that also media driven." asian possessing high ethical values is NOT media-driven. this is an opinion certain nonasians derived from observation. AF being sexual objects and AM being dorks are media-driven. fortunately, i dont know of any AF who sees AM as dorks. if there are any, they should be ashame of themselves.
"I've dated white women. But at least I did at one time ask myself why was I attracted to these women." if you are assuming i have a propensity towards WM, you assumed wrong. regardless of my preference, we should not discriminate against them.
"When I was growing up with Charlie Angel, Bionic Woman, and Wonder Woman (I got a thing for women that can kick booty) these were my archtype of an attractive girl." Congratulations, you grew out of your naive phase.
"But if you also believe that Asian American are the Brianiac race, that can out think the misrepresentation in mass media." if you gonna write, you should write in a complete sentence. you also have a spelling error. what is your suggestion? love only those who defines you, and hate all others?
"Perhaps you should to get a little bit more work experience" should my opinion be disregarded b/c of my age now?
"We are not talking about individuals behavior, but the behavior of an entire society USA society, including the asian within the USA society." what is society comprised of? funny, b/c i always thought individuals make up a society. "Because injustices are committed by the society not the individual in most instances. The individual usually is just a slave to societial norms." are you saying your discriminating behavior is to be blame on "societial norms", not your inability to accept others?
be
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 23:48:41 (PST)
"Let's see. You see so many more AFs with WMs, and very few AMs with WFs. Assuming there are 50% females and 50% males in the asian american community around dating or marriage age, that means there must be a lot of AMs can't find a girlfriend or wife. Simple logic. Unless there are more AFs than AMs in asian american commuity. If most AMs don't have a problem when it comes to dating, interracial dating would not such a subject of debate here.
For all I know A-man is a big stud with no problems with getting girls, but that does not change the statistical fact that there are many AMs not getting girls."
AA,
I am sorry but stats don't tell the whole picture ..sure u may see more AF/WM..than WF/AM..but that doesn't mean WF are not giving AM a chance it may be simply most asian guys perfer asian women and vice versus plus if this was not true then how come american born asians are on the increase i mean if AM and AF aren't getting it on then how come the asian-americans population is increasing? u say many AMs are not getting girls but so are many white and black guys i don't understand why u single out the asian guys?
I am 25 year old average height -looks..etc hardly a studtype yet i don't have a problem getting dates my current girlfriend is white ..we met in a record shop i didn't use any cheesy chat-up lines either all i did was say hello ..how are u etc....that's all u need to get the ball rolling..you don't need all that crap advice like from dating columns all u need is to be yourself ..trust me it works!
A-man
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 22:57:21 (PST)
Alright, back to another post...
First off, I'm not of the ones who were talking about the whole half asian issue. So what if they grow up with two different cultures? So do we! I got some hapa friends and I can relate with them alot. Some hapas kick it with asian people and stuff, some prefer not to be associated with asian people. It's like, we can't blame some hapa's like Keanu Reeves for being totally white and not care about asian people, I mean they ARE half white. So to all the hapa peoples here, I think hapa's and asian people relate more with one another then hapa's and white people. moving on..."
non-asian males are attracted to af b/c we possess HIGHER ethnical values than females of other cultures. they admire the fact that we respect the elders, they adore the submissive qualities in asian females, they value our diligent traits, and most of all..they are drawn to us b/c we are NOT 'loose'. they are also attracted to our petite physique and 'exoticness'."
You said it yourself, your exoticness? Do you understand the word exotic and how this implies to attraction. Yeah, white guy's are attracted to you because your not "Loose" many think your "TIGHT"...if you understand..which I believe you don't considering how messed up your "understanding" of non asian males is...This brings me to my concluding point. ASIAN MALES AREN'T MAD THAT WHITE GUY'S ARE DATING ASIAN GIRLS. If the white guy kicks with other asian guy's, then he's cool with me...but what percentage of all the AF/WM relationships have the white guy hanging out with asian guys?? Eggs= cool asiaphile = sorry mother f******
CHINESE EXCLUSION ACT
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 20:40:34 (PST)
Multiplication and AC Dropout:
"The media presents facts and images into our minds and slowly reinforces them over time." i agree with you to a certain extend...the media can instill stereotypes in our heads. however, i strongly believe our observations and interactions in our daily lives are more powerful in shaping perception.
fortunately, my perception of asian males DOES NOT conform to the negative AM stereotype. the image that comes to mind when i think of an AM is someone who is loyal, caring, and considerate. my nonasian male friends, who have befriended asians, tell me they enjoy being with an AF b/c they admire our ethnical values and they are intrigue with our culture, aside from the appearance.
at the opposite end of the spectrum are the nonasians who possess little knowledge of asians...it is apparent their interest to AF is purely sexual...and these people probaly also view AM as the unattractive nerds.
why is there such extreme differences in people's perceptions of asian americans? the answer is obvious. the media enormously influences those that have not have much interaction with asians; at the same time, the media has minimal influences on those who do interact with asian americans. nevertheless, the media false portrayals of asians are still unacceptable. although, i do not believe this is the cause for the disproportionate dating ratio between AM/AF. i know of many AF who prefers to be with AM...but the WM tends to be more aggressive.
You said, "All we ask is that AFs support us a little in our plight (even though you may be afraid some white folks may not like that) and I am sure we will support you."
i totally agree...asian americans should be in this TOGETHER. i hope i can speak for many by saying...AF DO support issues that can improve AA societies, but we do not agree that the 'hatred' approach is a necessary one. this mean...insulting AF with terms like "sell-out"...hating the other americans for their interest in our cultures, and disregarding hapas as asians b/c they're not 'pure'.
Chinese Exclusion Act:
"If I were Joe Namath, I could get all the goodlooking blong cheerleaders...but since i'm an average looking white guy I can get all the hot Asian women"
It's unfortunate that white americans perceive us this way. like i said earlier, i think they are the ones impacted by the media b/c of their lack of understanding of asians. but how are AM benefiting when they dwell on other's stupidity? let me tell you something...there is one STRONG advantage all AM possess over their male counterparts. it is the ability to understand and bond with another AF, like no other. no matter how much effort a WM put forth, he can never understand an AF to the level as AM can. isnt this the basis of any relationship?
God of Asia:
you said, "be" is obviously a WHITE BOY"
asian or caucasian...male or female..IM DAMN PROUD OF IT! you got a problem with that?!
Kevin Yang:
you said, "Be, yes I agree some people who use the word, "sellout" losely are racists. However, NO more than the AF who hates her AM counterpart."
i will ask you what i have asked villageidoit...can you specifically tell me how and where have i stated anything along the line of "hating AM"? am i a horrible asian american b/c i am able to accept others, including nonasians?
you said, "Be, you seem all too willing to label people "narrow minded", however it seems to me that you too ONLY look at one side of the issue." you seem to guilty of this as well...especially when your bs has no supporting evidences.
"You mentioned that the stereotype of AF being "loose" does NOT pertain to every AF out there and to this I agree. However, neither do ANY of the positive traits you so thoughtfully pointed out."
those traits i've listed were not based on assumptions (unlike yourself, who have a special talent for this). that was based on information WMs shared with me. is communicating with nonasians a sin too?
be
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 20:12:02 (PST)
I've read somewhere that there IS an availability issue for AMs in this country. Due to widespread female infanticide in China, there is now an availability issue creeping up there for asian males as well. Different reasons, but availability issues on both sides of the Pacific!
weird huh?
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 16:50:17 (PST)
Chinese Exlcusion Act
You are such a loser. Take a look at what you said:
"and another thing, guess why most asian guy's are shy? wouldn't you be if people like you are only shown as unattractive????? I'd like to date a white girl but guess what? How do I know any girl outside my race is even attracted to me when not only is it never shown in the media, but what is shown is every single unattractive stereotype you can have of a guy."
You have absoultely no self confidence. Sure media is a factor, but in your case, lacking self confidence accounts for 99% of the reason why you can't get a girl, asian or otherwise.
TLC
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 13:15:48 (PST)
Multiplication is better than division,
AFs should support AMs in their quest for equal air time in the media. There needs to be more convincing elements in real life for the media to rely on to create positive images of AMs. That's where the role of AFs becomes that much more important to convince the media industry to be fairer and equitable. There's no reason why it shouldn't work since the media is so enamored with AFs.
holy seer
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 13:10:58 (PST)
you guys are giving this roger/be or whatever schizo personalities he has too much credit. i wish the editors would make some sort of login so that at least we know who consistently posts under what name. but if you go back and read roger's posts you'll notice the same style and "where's your reference" requests.
notice this post by be
Friday, March 01, 2002 at 12:13:29
"you need to get your eyes examined, SON." (emphasis mine)
know any females who like saying that debasing to refer to others?
and to roger/be, save it. i don't even care about your opinions enough to reply. look at your own post and then my, sounds like you need a class in self-control.
alas, if no more interesting retorts, i'll go back to lurking and to amuse at the deniers. since there can be "holocaust deniers" why can't we call then "gender divide deniers?"
villageidiot
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 10:42:04 (PST)
T.H.Lien
Language, of course, is THE skill that eases communication between multi-linguals and monolinguals (non-English speaking). In THIS country, I've never seen the lack of asian language skills prevent anyone from being accepted by by other open-minded asian peers. If people express a desire to socialize only with other asians, other open-minded asians usually accept them assuming they could communicate via same language, English. From those friendships, it's only natural for people to start picking up enough asian phrases and words to get by AND function among people of the same culture. I've yet to see the great friction you're referring to.
I've also yet to see an English speaking asian male reject an american born asian female outright because of the lack of knowledge of asian culture and vice versa. There are american born asians who know nothing of the asian culture. But hapas are a special case because they are of mixed blood right? People will do fine if they take initiative and learn something. It's not the great tragedy you make it out to be, so lighten up. Interestingly, everywhere I go, I get accepted by all Asians by speaking English and that's before I even utter an asian word.
Since there are 6.9 billion asians on this planet, asian culture is not going to be lost. The number of asians in this country is increasing via immigration.
more and more arrogant by the minute
Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 09:15:23 (PST)
NEWEST COMMENTS |
EARLIER COMMENTS
|