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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage is't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
more and more arrogant by the minute:
uh ... there aren't 6.9 billion asians on the planet, unless you wanna say there's no qualifications whatsoever to be Asian. Asian culture is of course not going to be lost at the international scale, but will American-born Asians actually be able to participate and contribute to it?
"I've also yet to see an English speaking asian male reject an american born asian female outright because of the lack of knowledge of asian culture and vice versa."
I believe the term for this is "hit it and split it." Sure guys will give pretty much every girl the time of day and far beyond. But at least based on conversations with my male friends (mostly bilinguals, both US and overseas-education), they're not looking at such people for the purpose of a long-term relationship. Female friends seem to give about the same response, though to a lesser degree. For some reason there is this association between girls and foreign languages among Asians (looking at the senior-level foreign languages and literature classes at the university I'm at right now, the girl/guy ratio is at minimum 15:1) ...
Finally, hapas are not a special case. No one deserves special treatment. Someone claiming to be Asian should either make good on their claim or not bother with claiming that identity. Language is the only criterion to judge who is Asian or not which doesn't produce some ridiculous exceptions.
TLC:
So any clues as to why lack of self-confidence seems to be more widespread among Asian guys than general population?
T.H. Lien
OnceADayForFourWeeks@yahoo.com
Thursday, March 07, 2002 at 05:41:11 (PST)
Speaking of the media bashing AM... from the CNN website:
"Sagging Sex in the City"
http://asia.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/asiapcf/east/03/ 06/hongkong.sex/index.html
A quote from the article:
"A global survey by leading condom manufacturer Durex in November also found Hong Kong people were the least sexually active in Asia, after Japan."
Question:
How often does American news publicize obscure polls or events from foreign places that have no international impact? It's like CNN publicizing some poll from Munich showing autoworkers are unhappy -- ie, totally irrelevant to American society.
Obviously, this article is relevant only as far as it is provides comical relief to the popular American population.
Vancouver Canuck
Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 22:20:57 (PST)
CHINESE EXCLUSION ACT:
"You said it yourself, your exoticness? Do you understand the word exotic and how this implies to attraction."
im starting to understand why you believe the media controls people's minds. your avid pornography viewings have embedded in your mind the idea that 'exotic' is synonymous of promiscuous. those of us who has the ability to rationalize..understands that 'exotic' simply means foreign.
"Yeah, white guy's are attracted to you because your not "Loose" many think your "TIGHT""
are you criticizing AF for being "tight"?! should we be ashamed b/c we do not make ourself sexually available to any guys who are interested?
"This brings me to my concluding point. asian males aren't mad that white guy's are dating asian girls"
then what are you whining about? are you resenting us b/c you prefer to be the one labeled as the 'sexual objects'? you are more than welcome to take the label from us.
VILLAGEIDOIT:
each time you comment, you demonstrate how true you are to your name.
"but if you go back and read roger's posts you'll notice the same style and "where's your reference" requests"
you prove us to be correct, once again. i asked you show me how i am an "AM hater". you quoted this...
"notice this post by be
Friday, March 01, 2002 at 12:13:29
"you need to get your eyes examined, SON." (emphasis mine)"
is this the best you can do? i sure hope you are not a lawyer.
"and to roger/be, save it. i don't even care about your opinions enough to reply." congratulations! you've made the smartest move. if you have no evidence to support your speculations...stay low, unless you are capable of taking the embarassment.
"alas, if no more interesting retorts, i'll go back to lurking and to amuse at the deniers." sounds like you dont have to travel far. look in the mirror. smile big!
be
Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 19:50:00 (PST)
vancouver canuck,
at least don't tell me you've been hit on by the gay guys who also have asian fetishes? :)
i love it in our AM catch-22 situation because i get blamed for being dorky and shy for not asking girls out, but then when i acutally do it looks like i'm some kind of jerk or sex-fiend because of that wonderful horny AM stereotype. it's damned you do and damned you don't...
my advice, buy russian mail-order brides. :)
(in spite of everything, i believe i'm still the romantic type at heart.)
villageidiot
Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 12:03:54 (PST)
holy seer,
have you seen trailers for "the scorpion king" with skimpily clad kelly hu? i was unimpressed with her on "politically incorrect" addressing the sara silverman use of the C-word, and still continue to be unimpressed with her. you know if like some of AF on this board whose name will not "be" mentioned, i'd expect them to be much more in tune with asian issues in the media. and this isn't generalizing because every AM from manna's guy aoki to rick yune seem to be aware of the uphill fight for media equality except for those AF who are making it capitalizing on the madama butterfly WM fantasy...
heck think i'll just go download the scorpion king when it comes out. that teach those corporate execs to mess with asian college kids with too much bandwidth! 8-P
villageidiot
Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 11:58:56 (PST)
Be:
I take issue with your statement: "No matter how much effort a WM put forth, he can never understand an AF to the level as AM can."
I think any couple where there is a deep,loving bond, be it AF/AM, WM/AF, etc. will in time understand eachother on the deepest, most profound level imaginable. Yes, it takes effort, and when there are ethnic/racial/cultural difference it does take more effort, but when I look at myself and my wife,
I feel that I understand her better than any other man she's ever known, Asian, White or whatever else. She herself has said as much and she's not the type to stroke anyone's ego either. This becomes even more profound once you have a child together.
So please, quit generalizing already.
WM married to an AF
Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 10:44:50 (PST)
Be,
I hardly stated that you hated Asian Males, I simply pointed out the fact that the word “sellout” is used rightfully so to describe those sorts of Asian Females. Though I will agree with you that in today’s world, that word is used all too loosely. I realize that you did not express contempt for Asian males and I shall NOT make this judgement upon you since I do NOT know you. I was simply pointing out the types of people “sellouts” refer to and those people rightfully deserve that label.
I expressed that you were somewhat narrow minded in the sense that I assumed you agreed with the generalizations pointed out by your white male friends. If you do NOT, then I apologize for making such an assumption. I have heard both sides of the story from them (Yes, I do have many WM friends, especially at work.), the submissive, easy traits, as well as the ethical, educated ones. However, to me these are just what they are, “generalizations”, and reality is probably somewhere in between if NOT totally contradictory. My point is that if one were to accept these values as fact, that person would have to accept both sides of the coin. He/she cannot simply take the good and NOT the bad. Finally, NO communicating with non-asians is NOT a crime, in fact I do it myself, but realize that the generalizations about us (Asian Americans) that come from their mouths are probably based upon unsupported, preconceived notions. I have heard the “easy” trait MANY times from my WM friends and it bothers me EVERYTIME I hear it because it’s FAR from true, however, neither is the assumption that Asians all “straight A” students.
Thanks,
Kevin Yang
Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 10:32:47 (PST)
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