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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage is't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
be,
Sorry it took so long to respond. I also agree that some asian guys are way too passive or shy. I think however that this is something that asian males can fix.
I also agree that some of us are spouting off way too much hate. Yes it is excessive, but I also think that this is a result of frustration at the lack of unity among asians (not just between genders or ethnicities but also within the same community). I think is wrong to think that because we are enrolled in ivy leagues and the benefactors of big paychecks that everything is ok.
As asians, we still have our rights violated. This is shown recently in various recent cases (some asian students were brutally beaten in upstate new york, an asian woman was raped and beaten in an ivy league school because of her race, at the same school at about the same time a group of asian women were verbally assaulted with racist remarks, an asian man was killed in california because the police thought he knew "kung fu" leaving his widow and 2 daughters, wen ho lee, a college campus radio station uttered racist remarks, an asian grandmother was killed in Seattle while the Seattle police mysteriously got away, etc.) And all these cases have one thing in common besides occurring within the last few years, the perpetrators got away. Mainstream America doesn't hear about these things because for some reason the press is indifferent. Asians too sadly are indifferent.
While at its core, a lot of asian males are mad that they are not dating asian females, I think what really hurts is that asian females are not only ignoring or attacking asian males. Asian females have issues too such as the "china doll" stereotype or the glass ceiling at work from being both asian and female. Asian males have the "weak image" and also the glass ceiling at work from being asian. And of course all asians suffer from the above human rights abuses, negative media portrayals of asians, unfair representation in political and legal arenas, etc. So as you can see we really have a lot of problems and other things like skin color, good academic performance, black hair, slanty eyes, fobby accent, etc. in common. I think the gender divide issue is the dumbest of all these problems percisely because it is something we bring unto ourselves. Imagine if we actually got together and tried to solve some of the other problems.
be, I understand you are a reasonable person. What I hope to achieve in this post is not so much your reading it, but other people (members of both genders). This whole gender divide problem is stupid and self destructive. We have more important things to deal with than fight amongst ourselves. I just hope that when another asian complains, we don't immediately dismiss him/her while saying "That person is just weak", or "oh man this is going to just make look bad in fron the whites", or "I don't have time to care I have to get to work", etc. It doesn't take that much effort to show some support.
Multiplication is better than division
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 22:55:34 (PST)
33 years old:
This is ridiculous. I know AC Dropout and he is definitely no where near his forties. He IS in his late tweenties, althoguh I'm sure if you see him in person... you would probably think that he is 22 or 23.
Please don't make anymore outrageous assumptions :)
chicky poo:
Are you 37 yrs old?? I don't remember what post it was on, but it was something like you are in your late thirties.
Minor details
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 19:08:29 (PST)
huu76,
[Ugly AF/Ugly WM. I hate it when the girl smiles and thinks she's better than me because she's got something to cling on to.]
Hopefully, they'll have fairly cute hapa kids to make-up for their lack of looks.
I’ve seen it happen on more than one occasion! IR can be a good option for the not so aesthetically pleasing.
[Hot AF/Ugly WM. It shows me that AF think cream of Asian crop is crap!]
From my observations, you'll see this coupling in Asia or Hawaii more often than in most parts of the mainland U.S.
[Ugly AF/Handsome WM. I'll never figure this one out. A family friend is in this situtation. I feel kind of bad for him since I think he's lacking in self-confidence, either that or something's missing upstairs. Heck, most AM wouldn't date his girlfriend.]
This seems to occur alot more often in areas where there are very few AFs around. I know some White and Latino guys who have such low standards for AFs that it's laughable. They just haven't seen enough AFs to make an accurate assessment of what's hot and what's not.
Jay... the hapa
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 14:45:56 (PST)
Never fear, my Asian brothers!
If you can't find a nice Asian girl in your neighborhood, move to Hawaii.
Easier said then done, but know that there are tons of AM-AF couples there.
Jay... the hapa
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 13:57:16 (PST)
AC Dropout,
I now believe you are less than 40 years old. You actually remind me of children when you challenged your accuser with a bet that you know will not develop. Your challenge does nothing to discredit the accuser, however idiotic the accusation may seem.
You submit very well educated and thought out inputs, at least in Goldsea. However your arguments amuse me when your worldview is challenged. It seems, at least to me, that you just want to win the arguments. Many arguments you make are excellent, but so often your arguments start to disintegrate and become outright red herrings in attempt to win the arguments at any cost. OK, forget I said children. You remind me of sophomore philosophy students.
On the Internet, we sometimes become what fancy us. On the internet what is argued is more important than "who" is arguing. That is what's great about the Internet.
On the Internet, I am an immortal. I bet all my money on it ;p
Now the the only thing I have to worry about is my IP Address being logged by Goldsea. You (Goldsea) wouldn’t hire a hit man to behead me to prove I am a mortal? Would you? Ahem, not that I am worried, of course. I am an immortal…. =)
May be younger or older than AC Dropout
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 13:33:17 (PST)
33 yr. old father of two,
"You're very experienced for a 29 yr old."
Thanks but I'm still younger than 29, and not delusional yet. Slightly grand, but still sane. I view time as the only commodity that is priceless (those Visa commercial are wrong). I would fight afternoon naps at pre-K and K, because you could not experience new things with your eyes closed.
Life is right there in front of us for anyone to experience. How much of it you are willing to take in at one time is a personal decision.
AC Dropout
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 11:28:25 (PST)
Gregory-the Saint,
My comment was meant to be sacrastic. Don't take it literally. I went to a boarding school in England. So I already had my share of socializing with people from other races. I don't think AA hangs out with other races until late in their life due to interactions with others at their jobs. Lots of whites, blacks, & hispanics that I know think AA is clannish. They like to hang among themselves all the time (So are other races). I think lots of AA still struggle with assimliation while maintaining their identity as "Asian-American". They are still looking for that balance point.
US is very individualistic to an extent that sometimes it's kind of selfish.
FOP
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 11:17:07 (PST)
33 yr. old father of two,
Anyone can look up the history of their favorite stars these days. So I like stars that started their careers all the way back in the 70's. Like Chow Yun Fat, Jackie Chan, John Travolta, etc.
Correction, "Eubonic" for gen X'ers, like myself, came into attention in early 90's when african americans wanted to introduce it into our public school system.
When you start a company in your 20's and you want it to succeed. You don't fill it up with your classmates and highschool kids. That is correct a majority of my employee are older than me.
Now you're scaring me. You're pulling up post almost 3 month old post, in your quest to prove I'm older or that I'm in fact the infamous "dog on the computer" in a Farscape comic strips.
I will not deny the fact that my writings may seem from an older person. But, they are not. I'm sure if we had to opportunity to read Bill Gates or Micheal Dell english writing in their late 20's they probably sound pretty old too. Not that I'm anywhere near the same league as the Mr. Gates and Mr. Dells of the world, but the point being, writing style and insight is an indication of maturity of thought not age.
One of us, or both, is going to need professional help soon if you don't give up this thread. ^_^
AC Dropout
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 10:54:00 (PST)
Reader,
This is silly as you have mentioned. Was Roger this adament even when holding a losing position?
AC Dropout
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 10:31:55 (PST)
chicky poo,
I'm not sure if someone else is using my handle on this site. It's a pretty stupid handle to begin with.
But in all honesty I'm not even 30 yet. Yes, I have a kid and another one in the oven.
Shame on me?....for being a dirty old man. Shame on you for flirting with someone you precieve as a dirty old man. You tease. ^_^
AC Dropout
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 10:30:13 (PST)
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