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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:05:48 PM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage isn't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Jeers to AFs,
"It comes down to the AFs insecurities. Imagine if the HFs and BFs sell-out at such a rate. But HFs and BFs have much more pride in their race regardless of how HMs and BMs treat them. I, for one, am not attracted to the AF's attitude and lack of physical attractiveness."
By the looks of things it looks like you have some insecurities of your own my little, bitter, and paranoid friend. Here's something that just might shock you but some people just might be dating people of other races because they're actually in love with them. I know it's a lot to take but please take a deeeeeeeeep breath and just relax for a minute. But of course in your world that's not OK.
As for your comment about HF and BF selling out at that fast a rate. Hmmm. Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you the one that doesn't want to date within your own race. So in essence wouldn't you be labeling yourself. But of course your going to come at with some stupid argument like you don't count because your not female. I'm sorry to say my little pea brain friend but you sure complain like one.
If you don't find AFs attractive as you stated in your last post. That's fine. Nobody really even cares. However, to hate more then half a billion AFs in this world for something a small number in comparision has done to you is retarded to say the least.
I don't know what sell-out dumps you go to. Over here and other cities I've been to I've noticed the majority of Asian relationships to be AM/AF.
Chinese-American,
Wow! I can't recall a post that I've ever read that made less sense. It's people like you that IQ tests should be graded in the negatives.
To begin with. You ramble on and on about Persian and Guatemalan women and how you missed a chance to marry one because you felt like you needed an AF for a partner. Then you go about how you want to give up another chance because your afraid you won't be "able to pass down some Asian and Chinese culture to my kids if they are mixed.". Then you start with the AF bashing and continue by saying your going to convince your friends that they shouldn't date AFs. I'm really sorry to break this to you but YOU were the one who gave up your chances in marriage. You made the decision and now you want to blame a few AFs sell-outs for your misfortune. Here's a question. When the hell are you (I'm going to give you the benefit of a doubt) a grown man going to take responsiblity for your own actions. AFs had nothing to do with what you did yet your so eager to crucify the masses for your own stupidity. So what's it like being a rocket scientist?
I don't see much difference from you and "Jeers to AFs". In fact you both complain like a couple of bitches. Sorry to say but that's pathetic.
----------------------------------------
"Two trailer park girls go round the outside! Round to outside! Round the outside!"
--Eminem
Proud 2 b Azn (AM)
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 23:04:03 (PDT)
[64.228.63.52]
I kind of agree with Deng Ai that the asian women that I have seen that lives in down town NYC or SOHO prefers to date white men. I don't know if it is the majority but, I will admit that there is a lot. I think one of the reason why is that most of the people that live in that area are usually liberal. Most of the asian women that I seen that live in the upper east side or soho are very much americanize. I mean if you were blind and you talk to them you would think that they were white. I think this leads a lot to the socialization of the american culture. In other words mass media of american culture molds the people that we have today. I still think that if we had an asian sex symbol or if asian men were sexual ojectified it will HELP our case a whole lot.
I don't think a LOT of asian women live in SOHO or the upper east side. But I am not sure about that.
When I was going to NYU I saw the disparity in IR dating but, every time I go out in the city now I see MORE and MORE asian men with non-asian women. I think asian men particular in the next generation is playing catch up.
But, I can understand the frustration that asian men feel. I know for myself if I get turned down by a women I wonder was it me or was it my race. Even with asian women I am not sure which one are willing to date asian men or just look down on us. This is what asian guys got to deal with on a daily basis.
Korean boy
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 21:48:21 (PDT)
[24.199.68.178]
FOP:
I really don't know what to think of you, FOP. I'm pulling my hair out right now. You're doing this 180 on me and it's got me all tied up.
You sit there with your Argentine (aka white) girlfriend and say flippantly one day:
"I dont think there are many AFs who prefer to date black men. They would run away from blk men like they are plague."
Then, you come here several days later to say:
"That's why Asians have yellow uncle toms like Connie Chung and Amy Tan captializing on Asian men bashing. That's why we heard the excuse like dating an AM is like dating your own brother."
I'm not going to keep dwelling on this, because you have exhibited some change in your tone. But, I just want you to realize how frustrating it is for a black guy like me who doesn't laugh at jokes about Asian guys and who doesn't even laugh at anti-Asian banter is a dark movie theather when I could very easily do so.
OK, just to briefly touch on "Joy Luck Club". I read the book and thoroughly enjoyed. However, when I saw the movie on TV years later, I was very disappointed. Kinda strange, huh? Seeing it in film gave me a different feeling for some reason. It barely gave Asian guys "time out". You guys got beat over the head and it was cruel. The white guys came across as normal and defending husbands and the Asian husbands were basically dogs. Amy Tan has it in for Asian guys. Not doubt about it. I don't understand Asian culture, so I can't talk about all the intricate details of Asian/Asian American family life; however, I do not feel the movie provided a proportional picture of Asian-American husbands.
When white and black women see movies like that and told in that particular fashion, I suspect it causes them to run for cover when they see Asian guys.
Geoff DB
GeoffDB02@aol.com
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 21:24:21 (PDT)
[172.191.219.167]
I know that in Latin American countries (such as Cuba) there is no gender divide among the Chinese, while in other countries such as Mexico, Peru and Panama, it is mostly Chinese men who are intermarrying Latina women.
It is pretty much the same here in the USA, especially in California. In areas where Asians and Latinos live together, there is slightly a little more Asian men dating and marrying Latinos, but on the whole the gender ratio imbalance is not that much.
Not compared to where AF only go for white guys. And, neither AF nor AM have that much interest being with blacks. I have even seen fewer Mexicans with blacks.
Most people of all races seem to want to be with whites, but some groups like Asians, Middle Easterners and Mexicans almost totally shun blacks as marriage and dating partners.
seen it to believe it
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 19:50:38 (PDT)
[64.130.235.33]
More than any Asian woman marrying whites, the award for banana this week goes to Michelle Malkin for her book "The Invasion". Although she does not say it out loud, it is very clear from her book that she wants to keep America white, promote racial profiling (although she herself is Asian). Her policy suggestions would lead to the economic collapse of America and turn this into another Germany as our corporations move off shore in the global conomy creating higher unemployment. She is a typical example of an Asian American woman who is completely white washed and even beats the likes of Dinesh D'Souza and Amy Tan. Of course, it is not just the women who are whitewashed. Among the Asian males the award for banana goes to Professor Jan Ting of Temple University who things just like Michelle Malkin. Her book "Invasion" is a must read for everyone who wants to know what a banana and white washed Asian female's mindset. Similarly, Professor Ting's various writings is a typical example of what a whitewashed male banana thinks.
Bananas such as Michelle Malkin and Jan Ting are more dangerous to Asian Americans than an Asian female taking off after a white male...and guess what while she is a clear example of a white washed banana she has the gall to tell others not to marry "terrorists." And while she lectures white women not to marry jihadists, she has nothing to say about her fellow Asian woman who is married to the accomplice of the OK City bomber, Fourtier.
Book Review
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 18:02:05 (PDT)
[138.220.21.180]
Deng Ai wrote:
"Yes, you are free to ignore rantings from an ugly man who has never approached Asian girls."
You should appropriately mention this *important* tidbit in every one of your posts as a disclaimer.
That way, you can do society a favor and we can all ignore your bitching.
Look in the mirror, fool
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 16:07:50 (PDT)
[208.48.177.3]
Geoff DB,
I wrote to you "I want to fall off my chair laughing so hard."
Just for the record I didn't mean for that statement to come across as a joke or be insensitive. What I meant was I get tickled because it's totally off mark with reality.
Political Observer
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 15:04:08 (PDT)
[167.230.38.7]
Deng Ai,
"I guess the real question is: in your TRUE heart of hearts what woman would you want if can have any in the world?"
-Actually, I think my taste is still relatively original although I've been exposed to the media over years. Since I was a child I was always abhorred by the look of pure-bred (light-pigmented) whites. This has never changed. I would rather feel physically attracted to dark-skinned Dravidian women than to white women though it would have a bad effect on my reputation. In my case white females are easier available than any other...I'm as bored by their looks as well as their temperament and these facts won't ever change.
My cue is that the gender divide does not relate to physical attraction.
If you referred to: "Several Spanish media outlets reported that a British agency has provided a large group of women to accompany the Saudimen during their vacations in Spain, on two conditions: the women must be young and blonde, and must be replaced every 15 days." (from "What do Saudis worry? Pass the caviar" by Tito Drago.)
-Those rich Saudis even change all carpets in a Spanish hotel with their money. I doubt that they know what they are doing at all, they might be so spoilt that they cannot behave like normal humans anymore without a therapy. Give a different link. This one refers to people who always exaggerate.
rare stuff
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 14:55:32 (PDT)
[62.158.89.155]
"Just face it, in general, Asian women LOVE their Asian men, but many stray to white and black guys. I don't get upset when black women choose white, Asian or Hispanic guys to date/marry. Women are entitled to choose their soul mate. It's perfectly natural to be attracted to people of other races."
It's funny how non-AM seem to promote this idea, that AF actually prefer the AM. Meanwhile, they're all into AF. Kind of funny if you think about. Did the White guy (Hank, nice guy) say the same thing, while being married to an AF?
As much as I do believe it's perfectly natural to be attracted to other races, I find it abhorringly unnatural to be NOT attracted to your own kind. Such is the case with many AF and some AM. This is self-hatred no doubt. Such is the issue at hand. Hopefully as more people are aware of this phenomenon and address this, things will improve. At least people may look into what's causing their behavior and start to think for themselves.
NYC AM
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 13:52:12 (PDT)
[208.252.30.254]
Deng Ai,
My turn to be annoying.
"The majority of AFs out of this group would never ever consider dating AMs."
What proof do you have of this statment about?
"So when we talk about AA gender division I automatically focus on the Asians who grew up in the US. There isn't really much of a gender division amongst 1st generation Asians."
What socialogical trait do you deem people of 1st generation and those who are not?
Without hard numbers or proof, this is only but a perspective from an individual observer.
How big was the population you observe? What timeframe was the observation made? How were sampling categorized? Any primary sources to aid in your research?
You should at least post a protocol of your observation.
Acedemic rigor is necessary, less you enjoy pushing air on this forum.
AC Dropout
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 13:31:10 (PDT)
[24.90.98.143]
Deng Ai,
you wrote
"The majority of AFs out of this group would never ever consider dating AMs."
Can't quite believe the two of us agree for once.
Yea those AF gals in the marina district consider themselves "white" alright. Dating an asian or black guy would not be considered trendy. You have to image how someone can get so screwed up in their thing. I'll have to blame alot of it on the media but a great deal of the blame has to be placed on their uppity girlfriends and close associates.
These type of AF are void of culture and try to attach to anything that is non-asian. It's too bad.
Political Observer
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 13:29:56 (PDT)
[167.230.38.7]
you twist words to suit your own needs FOP:
I don't think so. Malcom X himself was into white women until he found his redemption in Islam.
FOP
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 13:21:27 (PDT)
[139.95.250.2]
Here is the offical undercount of 2000 census. About 2%
www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/2001/cn03attach.pdf
The undercount of asians in 1990 was around 12%.
The missing key word was "undercount" in my original suggestion. I cannot locate that article that claimed 25% undercount for asians in their district. Probably buried under all those with HMTL files. But found another report which the article might have been based off of.
www.aecf.org/kidscount/census.pdf
However, depend on where the numbers for the gender divide is coming from. They could be off quite a bit.
Like I said I gave up acedemics a while ago and this is a informal forum, so like they say in NYC...stop acting like a Jew!
Geez, because I can easily turn the tables on you ask you for hard evidence their exist a gender divide in the outmarriage rate in the USA. Standard deviations, Sampling methodology, and peer review would be necessary for me the accept any data you present as fact.
AC Dropout
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 11:33:15 (PDT)
[24.90.98.143]
FOP,
I see what you are saying. I agree with you. I have read many times on forums of how there are many asian females that sellout their asian men. They say that white men are better. I have seen the same thing from a few others. Just look at Geoff who stated how his very own sister is so insecure of blonde white females with blue eyes, and obviously has low self esteem about herself and wishes that she were white. You and I both know there are many Asian, Black and Latinas out there that do not feel intimidated by blonde/blue eyes. Not everyone falls into this category. This goes on with many races. There are many black men and women, and also hispanic men and women too..that choose to sellout their own. By putting down their own men and women to say that white is better: looks,brains,etc... Don't get me wrong, there are some very good white americans on this earth. But everyone knows about the standard of beauty imagery that has been brainwashing many people(of course, when this brainwashing occurs..it is the fault of the people who are allowing themselves to be brainwashed) So what I am saying is, it is wrong when people are being nasty to the people within their own culture. I completely agree with you. I may have misinterpreted some of your previous message. Now it makes more sense. I think when people bash people in their own culture, it is a sign of very low self esteem.
its better to love yourself
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 11:11:56 (PDT)
[205.188.208.74]
"That's why Asians have yellow uncle toms like Connie Chung and Amy Tan captializing on Asian men bashing."
You mean yellow aunt Jemimas?
"I don't know how many years it will take them to crawl out of this mode."
Perhaps they need to try and rent a home in Evergreen or Conifer, CO, where the whites openly dislike Asians.
Colorado
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 11:00:38 (PDT)
[138.220.70.76]
FOP,
you wrote "How can I be a smartass at the expense of BMs?"
Hey I don't want to race bait so I'll let Geoff handle this one. All I'm saying is you need to be more sensitive and stay away from capitalizing on racist attitudes.
Political Observer
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 10:28:21 (PDT)
[167.230.38.7]
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