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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:05:47 PM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage isn't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Geoff DB:
"If Asian guys approach Asian women like you are entitled to them or that they should be compelled to love you, then doesn't it make sense that many Asian women would be turned off by this attitude and seek comfort elsewhere?"
Yeah, the first part makes sense. But the "elsewhere" part doesn't. Many WM act like they own AF and that AF should be compelled to love them, but not only do these WM not get rebuffed, but they get preferential treatment.
questioner
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 22:50:18 (PDT)
[32.100.71.55]
"When I dated Latinas, their men and the girls' families were more accepting and some even said if I was black, they wouldn't allow their daughter going out with me."
I actually don't have a problem with that. More Asian guys should date Hispanic women. Maybe you'll find out you have more in common with them than you think. Good luck.
Geoff DB
GeoffDB02@aol.com
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 21:52:30 (PDT)
[172.191.218.231]
"For example in my college, if a black guy is seen with a white or Hispanic girl, the black women and white/Hispanic guys stare at these couples and try to make it uncomfortable for them."
It tells me I have good taste in women.
I don't know about you, but any white or black guy who gets uncomfortable by being with a gorgeous Asian lady just because an Asian guys feels like she belongs to him needs to escort the lady over to his table. That's a weak mind and men, generally, don't get bothered by that too much.
When an Asian lady goes on a date with me and we're into a good conversation about all sorts of topics, guys will look over and I'll usually notice the attention, but scare tactics don't work.
I respect Asian guys. It would be wrong, rude to stare back at them or try to look like a playa. You have to be mature and realize you are with an attrative lady whom everyone else wants. It's actually a compliment.
Geoff DB
GeoffDB02@aol.com
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 21:47:50 (PDT)
[172.191.218.231]
Why haven't I seen any asian girls like this?
This is my dream wife (any colour will do). I saw this couple in Toronto. The girl was very pretty and nice looking (not skanky and done up), and always smiling. The guy was driving this beatup late 80's Honda with the back window kicked out. In it's place, he had a white plastic bag taped to over it.
Tell me that girl wasn't with him for personatity etc.
If they ever docode DNA, they should irradicate the "materialistic" and "bitch" genes.
It will soon even out,
I don't know. I think AFs have problems with us AM just looking out. It may not happen as much, but when it does, I think you'll here more whining.
The only difference is that usually when "Asians" lose a male member, it's one of the elite. When we lose a female member, she's the cookie cutter type that you find in the bargain bin.
huu76
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 20:58:09 (PDT)
[64.231.98.171]
"What about themselves? AFs happen to be the most educated, most upwardly mobile female group in the US. Are you suggesting they are not savvy enough to decide what they want?"
Exactly Deng, education is key to what they have been educated in, their expertise, specialty or concentration. For example if I have a doctorate in finite math or French lit does that also mean I can be a master pimp if I so desire? Complete with a stable of 5 or 6 women ready to turn over their proceeds to me every night(don't forget spiffs). You get my meaning so now we understand that master of all tradesmanship is truly key. Savvy people won't be savvy in all areas.
Asian Brother
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 18:52:36 (PDT)
[152.163.189.198]
Asian brother worte:
"This is entirely possible when a person loves a certain race. So then the first requirement is met; that they be of a particular race. Then we can proceed to other matters like looks, personality, background and other things."
I don't think the issue is whether AFs are truly in love with their WM husbands or boyfriends. It's safe to assume they are. It's kind of like saying by excluding people who are mentally retarded from romantic possibilities must mean you can't truly fall in love with whoever you fall in love with because you eliminated a whole group of people from romantic possibilities.
Deng Ai
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 10:42:00 (PDT)
[198.6.73.7]
Deng Ai,
Like I said it was an activist group in CA that claimed 25% undercount for their district. 2% is the national average undercount.
If you understand statistics, 2% national undercount and 25% local undercount are both true statements.
My point being since you claim AF who would basically define as "white washed" in most asian communities as those who participate in IR, I find it hard to believe that the IR rate of AM in the indentical population group is not the same.
Hence the gender divide is precieved.
AC Dropout
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 10:33:10 (PDT)
[24.90.98.143]
Geoff DB wrote:
"My sisters wouldn't mind if I date an Asian or Hispanic or Native American women. They don't want me to marry a white woman, because they think I'm too good for a white lady. They want me to marry an attractive, intelligent black woman, but any woman of color would be better than a white woman, in their opinion."
Would you say your sisters are racists?
Deng Ai
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 10:31:07 (PDT)
[198.6.73.7]
Hey Geoff DB
you wrote "They want me to marry an attractive, intelligent black woman, but any woman of color would be better than a white woman, in their opinion."
lol...got a suggestion. You should go out and get a hot looking white women with blonde hair and blue eyes and take her home to meet your sisters.
OK it would have to be true love and you're not the kind of guy who would do this but that type of prejudice is so uncalled for. At least they have an enlighted brother like you.
Political Observer
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 10:19:03 (PDT)
[167.230.38.7]
Deng Ai,
you wrote
"Are you suggesting they are not savvy enough to decide what they want?"
In many ways yes. That is my opinion. AF and AM tend to try to assimmilate at any expense. Not all asians feel this way but you can't deny this as considerable.
Frankly, you're entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to mine.
Political Observer
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 10:14:49 (PDT)
[167.230.38.7]
Someone wrote
"When I dated Latinas, their men and the girls' families were more accepting and some even said if I was black, they wouldn't allow their daughter going out with me."
The best thing to do in these situations is to stand up like a man and get even closer to your date/spouse.
Can't let people intimidate you especially if they're probably not legal citizens anyway.
Political Observer
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 10:06:37 (PDT)
[167.230.38.7]
Deng Ai:
I agree with you that many AFs tend to outmarry and treat AMs like their brothers. Michelle Malkin is an example of an AF who has taken this one step further. Now she condemns other minorities such as Arabs. It is only a matter of time before she makes comments about Asian men. I agree with book review...a typical sell-out and a roll model for all AF sell-outs. As far as Jan Ting, he is no sell-out..in some respect a wee bit misguided may be, but definitely not a sell-out.
Chinese boy
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 09:50:55 (PDT)
[138.220.70.76]
Her book is the symptom of the overall disease that you have been complaining about. An Asian woman who thinks she is white. My tirade against her is not very different from your tirade against AFs in other boards. She was saying the same crap even before 9/11. However, at that time she did not use the security issue...instead made the same arguments as Pat Buchanan...the death of western civilization. If she had argued about immigration and invasion based on security issues before 9/11 in her various articles, I would have called her a prophet. But, she did not. She is just using security as a cover to promote Pat Buchanan and Tom Tancredo views. She is plain and simple a banana and a sell out not very different from the AFs you frequently describe. You should check out her articles. I am not going to do it for you.
"Do you think Asian AMERICANS are not part of America?"
That is precisely the point. Malkin has disowned her Asian heritage. Jan Ting is pretty close to disowning his.
Book Review
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 09:43:23 (PDT)
[138.220.70.76]
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