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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:05:40 PM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage isn't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
huu 76:
why on earth are there people who always have to see things in negative light to the point that they find the good things mentioned to be jarring? Yeah i understand your disappointment w/ whitewashed asians but it bugs me you seem to be sarcastic when an AF says she likes AM. poeple like you would have great difficulty in finding happiness in life. It's all about a matter of attitude. although i can't put my finger on it cos i don't know u well enough I have the impression you harbor a lot of bitterness and persimissim. It's not good for a man. I'm not here to pick up a fight w/ you so no way do i intend to offend you.
AM lover
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 19:38:28 (PST)
[61.11.245.8]
"Asian women take the cake"
by Yo whatever
I wanna be the girl with the most cake
AF with whip cream on top
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 13:32:01 (PST)
[64.12.96.41]
huu76,
Purging yourself of any Asian female contact is one thing.
However, attempting to convince other Asian men of this is a tad overboard.
Speak for yourself only. The majority of Asian men have had wonderful experiences with Asian women.
It's sad to see you this way.
siu mai
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 11:28:03 (PST)
[208.48.177.5]
"Second, have you ever noticed those Asian women who drag their flipflops or sandals or heels allll over the place, and you hear them shuffling their feet in tiny baby steps from at least a block down? SO annoying!"
That is INCREDIBLY ANNOYING. Why on earth do Asian women walk like that? Pick up your damn feet! You're not five years old.
2 cents
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 10:03:27 (PST)
[207.183.118.60]
"I don't believe there's a natural gender divide among AAs anymore than any other racial groups."
I don't know the exact statistics, but some estimate that 30 -50 % of all AFs marry or date WMs. That doesn't sound like a divide? The outmarriage rate for other minority groups is FAR lower than that.
2 cents
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 10:01:53 (PST)
[207.183.118.60]
huu76,
"Besides, its the AF's loss. Myself and many other AM are way better off than the white counterparts our age"
Not to sound critical man, but you sound like you got dumped by some AF and now you're really pissed at them. Or maybe you're not getting any attention from any of them. Either way, if you're so cool, confident, and good looking as you say you are then you must have tons of Asian chicks, white chicks, or whatever race chicks after you. So why spend all your time and energy bashing AFs.
ck
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 19:30:33 (PST)
[196.40.43.75]
"Hey, where did you get your reasons, from the air you breath?"
Hey I appreciate your response to my post, but honestly I was just taking my best stab at this. I got the reasons from life in general, in America, and to some extent from the opinions offered on this forum and others.
I don't believe there's a natural gender divide among AAs anymore than any other racial groups. But there is such a thing called "the colonial mentality" and the notion of "White is the highest form." One can easily discern such from the media or everyday life and from the way people seem see Whites in a higher light.
But AAs, in particular AFs seem to buy into this concept of "White is Right" more than others. At least it seems that way to me and what I've seen. And this has been going on for quite a long time now.
I don't think AM naturally hate AW or vice versa. Maybe it's just that AF prefer the WM over AM, and the AM is jealous, or just moving on. In any case this is a pretty plausible explanation for a AA gender divide. I don't know what that says about AA pride or cohesiveness, probably something negative. But if you think you can offer a better explanation, please be my guest. Thanks.
A reasoning for all this.
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 18:07:35 (PST)
[24.168.157.181]
low self-esteem guy,
That's the best you have, not too impressive.
Read closer, I'm speaking of AM as a group. Unlike you, I'm not selfish and speak only of myself. I don't recall mentioning anything about my looks either.
Azn Storm,
Maybe you and I would have different perspectives if we were in each other's places.
AM lover,
Your statement is already a given and a well known fact. Can you say it with conviction the other way around?
huu76
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 16:19:20 (PST)
[64.231.107.188]
"white guys have better personalities and they are less immature and childish"
LOL!!!! I almost snorted through my nose the ramen noodles I was eating !! What kind of horsespit is THIS?
I'm sorry, but as far as being childish and immature goes, Asian women take the cake.
I'm not talking about being responsible, paying the bills, raising kids, etc., but I'm talking about the little things like mannerisms, voices, etc. First of all, Asian women have tiny tiny helium voices. Almost none have the sexy, throaty 'phone sex' voice that other women have. Second, have you ever noticed those Asian women who drag their flipflops or sandals or heels allll over the place, and you hear them shuffling their feet in tiny baby steps from at least a block down? SO annoying!! Then, you have those Asian women that turn into babbling, helpless little babies when the going gets tough, and they want their men to take care of things.
Despite these and MANY more immature traits, I still put up with Asian women. They are my cultural soulmates, after all. But for an Asian woman to complain that AMs are immature is such rubbish. I'm almost speechless. If you like white men and want to even attempt to justify it (which is an impossible task to begin with), don't give us retarded BULLSHIT reasons. Immature? WHATEVER.
Why don't you compare the wife-beatin', beer drinkin', barbque-havin', stoagie-smokin', muscle-car drivin' white guy who went to White Trash State University, and THEN tell us that Asian men are all immature.
Yo, WHATEVER!
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 15:45:25 (PST)
[128.253.186.46]
Huu
My post isn't adressed to u. It is adressed to rose colored glasses. I'm sorry for the mistake...
Azn storm
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 14:57:55 (PST)
[61.11.245.8]
Reasoning for all this..
Hey, where did you get your reasons, from the air you breath?
loikloik
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 11:28:28 (PST)
[162.83.147.41]
huu76 don't flatter yourself. Your ego is causing you to hallucinate heavily. Who said that your all that important to begin with? You're not worth anyone's time. Unattractive or attractive, it doesn't matter. Whatever the nationality of the woman, she is getting a cheap deal if she wastes her time on muck like you.
huu76 has low selfesteem
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 09:17:12 (PST)
[205.188.208.74]
Reasoning for all this,
Very well put.
Asian Storm,
My eyes don't need to be trained when it's all over the place. Do my eyes need training to pick out women?
Besides, its the AF's loss. Myself and many other AM are way better off than the white counterparts our age. While they're out boozing it up every weekend, we're buying up real estate and ensuring our kids will have a headstart in life. However, I think most of our kids will end up being half something because of said fact in this forum.
I guess it's better for the pic-nees since mom should be the smartest woman dad can find, regardless of her race.
huu76
Monday, November 11, 2002 at 16:00:43 (PST)
[64.231.108.172]
I see that we both agree that an average man like yourself can only meet women of equitable par.
HADF
Monday, November 11, 2002 at 09:27:09 (PST)
[208.48.177.5]
I am an AF. and I love AM, I don't see myself end up getting married w/ a WM. I particularly love the slanted eyes and cute thin lips in men. I'm dating a tall AM w/ looks like that. of course the thing that draws me to the guyis his personality, he's smart, strong and hardworking, and many oher good things.
rose colored glasses:
You jump too quick to conclusions. there are plenty of AM i know who love AW.
love AM and truly mean it
Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 19:28:39 (PST)
[61.11.245.8]
Hello
This is an interesting discussion,and although I agree with some of the comments that some asian females can be quiet passive etc I think people have to realize and understand that this is the way they were brought up.To be quiet respectfull of others feelings. They are not people who shoot their mouths off perse like some Americans /Canadians are well known for doing.
Yes I also agree that it is the year 2002 and perhaps the ones who are more submissive can realize that they dont have to relegate themselves to others and can be more aggressive,
However I also feel that this is one of the cases where you are grouping a minority with the larger few I see alot of aggressive and succesful chinese females who are well educated and sure of themselves,Try not to steretype people. I think this is a case of grandiose generalization.
Thanks for listening
Leah
Leah
joie_77@yahoo.com
Saturday, November 09, 2002 at 08:51:25 (PST)
[24.138.12.39]
I'm a dumb f***,
I'd rather have an average woman with respect for me and herself instead of a bombshell who uses, abuses, then loses the low self-esteem guy.
Hmmm, kind of sounds like you.
huu76
Friday, November 08, 2002 at 17:07:39 (PST)
[64.231.97.241]
I feel sorry for u because of the miopic ways u perceive things. i guess this forum is indicative of the huge picture out there in the real world and a opinions from a few people make more sense than the big world out there...
know WM who complain all the time WF are bitchy, have no family values, hairy and all... or BM who say BF are fussy,and other bad stereotypes.but some comments in the internet forums are not enough to make me think WM and BM don't like women of their own cos I know it's not the case...I don't see the world through an internet forum..or I must be a pathetic nerd..
I guess in your case, your eyes are trained to see what you want to see... Wonder why you have to see things in negative light...What I have in my mind is insecurity. If that is true....i just feel sorry for you...really
sian storm
Friday, November 08, 2002 at 13:03:02 (PST)
[61.11.245.6]
Rose Colored Glasses wrote:
"I genuinely feel sorry for Asian women. Before I came visited this site, I thought their men respected their women. I see now that Asian men have absolutely hatred for Asian women."
Actually I have to say that AM do NOT hate AW. It's more like long suffered disappointment. AW generally worship the WM at the expense of their own men. Such condecending have been going on for so long that AM have finally woken up a bit. Nothing else. The AW, feeling they are more accepted in a White Society have more or less completed abandoned their own, it seems. Look at Connie Chung and others. To the weak-minded AW, White is always Right!! They hate themselves for not being White, condemn all non-Whites as being inferior, etc.. Of course a self-respecting AM would not respect such a woman. It's just unfortunate most AW are such.
So don't feel sorry for the AW because the AM hates them. AM do not hate the AW. He is simply accepting reality. On the other hand, do feel sorry for the AW because "she is so weak-minded and possesses such low self-esteem" that she's become who she is. But then again, the new generation of AW may be much stronger-minded, who knows. One can only hope for the best.
Reasoning for all this..
Friday, November 08, 2002 at 11:39:01 (PST)
[63.161.158.1]
Has little boy huu76 not gotten any play lately?
You poor bastard.
Hmmm....a beautiful woman (especially if she's Asian) can walk all over me anytime. Any woman who's been with me gets more than just seconds, my friend.
Maybe your two second claim to fame just isn't enough and you're festering? LOL...
huu76's a dumb f***
Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 15:45:22 (PST)
[208.48.177.5]
"Sorry to say it, but Asian women (our generation) are too weak minded for my tastes. If they don't respect themselves, I'm sure as heck not going to.":
huu76,
I can only agree. I also know many ambitious young AMs who cannot support those AFs without self-esteem. I won't waste my time for weak women, either. Life is not bollywood.
ambitious
Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 13:39:40 (PST)
[62.158.89.23]
I genuinely feel sorry for Asian women. Before I came visited this site, I thought their men respected their women. I see now that Asian men have absolutely hatred for Asian women. Comments from people like Deng Ai etc., there are just so many of them. I think its all Asian men who believe this way. I am dating an Asian man in a longterm relationship. He seems to have more respect and deepest devotions for the women in my culture way more than in his own. Its sorta sad. But then again, its cool getting all the undivided attention.
rose colored glasses
Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 11:32:04 (PST)
[205.188.208.74]
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