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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:05:39 PM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage isn't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
In every race there are the kind of women who date men of other race and are fond of nitpicking the flaws of women of the same background w/ her man. Cali girl is a good example of a BF like that. A secure and quality woman would not need to be nitpicking other women and enjoy harping about other women’s shortcomings over and over again…since only insecure and pathetic people need to resort to pointing at other people’s flaws to seek more self-confidence. As much as they like to deny it, I’m very sure these women are intimidated by other women who are constantly criticsed, wether they are really sellout or not. They can deny all they can…their words speak for themselves. the truth is a secure and mature woman would not need to repeat all the time the negative attributes in other women so she could feel she has an edge over women of other race. Complaining all the time about other women tell a lot about your qualm. I truly feel sorry for women of this kind.
And no, I’m not trying to pick a fight here..This post isn’t meant to attack anyone. MY main point is would it be much better for people to get along rather than try to create all the flak and constantly look at the bad side of people?
Novia
Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 08:41:19 (PST)
[203.162.132.183]
Does it really matter all that much if an AM dates a WF? It doesn't matter to me, that's for dang sure. This life is too short to waste on being angry over who dates whom. It is more of an issue if you live in a small town where prospects for everybody are limited. If you live in a medium to large sized urban or university environment, there are so many opportunities for everybody--Asian, African American, Caucasian, Latin and Mixed--to date, hook up and/or get married, so that nobody needs to be angry about it.
On the West Coast and in the Northeast, the AF/WM-WF/AM ratio is reaching parity. In larger Southern Cities (Atlanta and Houston specifically), you are seeing more WF/AM couples than you saw 10 years ago with their numbers still increasing. Is this because AMs are now choosing to "sell out" like they accuse some of their Asian Sisters of doing? Or is it because those AMs are catching up with the 21st century and developing more progressive ideas about whom they would pursue as romantic partners?
I've said it before and I will say it again: The AA Gender Divide is about a lot more than just AFs outdating and these other issues need more attention. The AF outdating issue has been beaten to death already.
Hank Lewis
Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 07:04:16 (PST)
[161.159.4.35]
The reason huu gets so righteously bashed is because he is a moron.
We heard how he dislikes AFs the first 5 or 10 times. But the fact that he has to give the same numerous, repetitive, boring, and pessimistic messages over and over again to a faceless crowd for the past way-too-many months shows he's got way too much free time. This translates to no career, no school, no friends, no dates.
huu...take a break
Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 21:40:45 (PST)
[207.172.11.148]
Al,
I make it worse? So it's okay as long as only AF do it.
Assumming you're a guy, great master plan. If you're not, then you've proven my point.
The rest,
You guys sure whine alot about my posts. Ironic isn't it?
Caligirl,
Hey, thanks.
Korean boy,
Like that's going to happen, especially since we're catching up. The only difference is that one side doesn't settle for less.
huu76
Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 20:44:47 (PST)
[64.231.96.104]
[and I am sure that some sell out AF are going to be upset w/you because you are exposing them for what they are]
although i was kind of upset by what he says about asian women, I'm not a sellout. I however won't deny there are sell out AF but lumping all AF as being sell out is not the way to go. YOu are caring too much about AF selling out...Every time you open your mouth in this forum you talk about AF selling out. I'm very very sure that you are dating an AM.
And when was he 'attacked'? people are giving their opinions anyway. If you are referring to attack, this is exactly what you are doing to the people who share different views with Huu 76, considering what you are talking about them and the tone w/ which you comment of asian female. So get a grip. Judging from the way you give your opinions and express them i guess you are still very young. Kinda like blue M bash blue F and a red F getting play from blue M take advantage of that to dish blue F by whom she feels threatend/intimidated. haha what a childish attitude...I'm laughing so hard over ...
AL:
word. W/ the sellout AF, AM simply need to move on. INstead of bitching over and over and over again about AF selling out, go out and find yourself a good woman (of any ethnicity). Complaing about sellout asians is a waste of time. The more you whine, the more you look like a victim in the eyes of other people. i don't think i am defending AF or any seloout individual...
And don't ever think that all AF are sellout...the resentment towards all AF as a whole will only worsen the asian divide. Don't get me wrong...I see why the negative reaction toward AF stem from. ANd I don't side w/ whitewashed asian (men and women) either...nor do i have something against guys like huu76....but you know it's always better to think positive and do something...don't sit there and vent your anger and hatred which doesn't solve anything. Channel your anger and disappointment into conducive action. There are more good than bad. And the good things might be awaiting you even though probably you havne't found it yet.
Azn angel
Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 20:22:54 (PST)
[61.11.245.5]
CaliGirl, i'm sure huu76 appreciates you being his one woman pep rally however i think you need to take a step back and read all recent posts.
the concept of white people (women and men) in this equation was not an issue.
the issue was that he lumps all asian women in one category.......sell outs and those who are not.
being white yourself.....i see where your defense mechanism comes in.
kimchi boy
Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 13:37:11 (PST)
[208.48.177.5]
huu76
I haven't been to this site in a while but I just got back & it appears you're getting kinda bashed in here!! I tried to go back and find your post that caused all of this and couldn't find anything that you've written to warrant such attacks. It appears that you're simply stating your opinion and I don't see why you're getting all this flack! I highly agree w/you and I am sure that some sell out AF are going to be upset w/you because you are exposing them for what they are. And perhaps some of these men are upset w/you because you choose not to date AF. But these same men and women don't seem to be as offended by the fact that so many AF choose to only date WM. Why is that you suppose?? At any rate, more power to you. There are plenty of non-AFs that I'm sure would be more than happy to be w/you and you sound like a person that would emotionally support any female that you choose to be with. Good luck!
CaliGirl
Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 00:46:48 (PST)
[63.233.31.234]
A reasoning for all this.
You said, "Maybe it's just that AF prefer the WM over AM, and the AM is jealous, or just moving on. In any case this is a pretty plausible explanation for a AA gender divide."
I just want to say that I don't see any reason for AMs to be jealous. From what I've seen, the WM these AF are with aren't much to look at & more than likely the reason they're w/these AF in the first place is b/c they can't get a decent looking WF, BF or LF. Trust me, AM have NOTHING to worry about. As a matter of fact, I think it works to other non-AF's advantage. This way, AM who may not have given IR a thought in the past, may rethink it. Not b/c they are "forced" to, keep in mind. No woman wants to think a man is w/her b/c he thinks he doesn't have an option but I think these men are just finally waking up and smelling the coffee and seeing the situation realistically. If they want to have a serious relationship at all, they need to step outside their comfort zone of only dating AFs. They've stepped out of long ago!!
Wake up AM! :-)
Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 00:18:33 (PST)
[63.233.31.234]
I agree with Yo.....
huu76 needs to get a life.
If he is complaining all the time about this so-called divide, why doesn't he attempt to narrow it?
Instead he bitches all the time, and makes it worse.
Al
Monday, November 18, 2002 at 08:39:26 (PST)
[64.130.204.9]
2 Cents:
You're wrong. Native Americans have outmarried by more than 50% on both genders during the past century. That's much more than Asian Americans ever have.
Census Taker
Monday, November 18, 2002 at 06:27:49 (PST)
[161.159.4.20]
you're right on the spot...huu 76 has so much time on his hand ...he talk about the same thing over and over agian...whenever he opens his mouth it's ALWAYS about negative crappy things....that's all he can come up with...yuck...huu 76 is such a whiner...
too right
Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 22:30:12 (PST)
[61.11.245.8]
AF with whip cream on top,
You want to have the most cake? well if you fit the description I gave, then you already have enough. No need to get greedy.
But do you want to have the cake and eat it too? Then let me lick that whipped cream off your body, aight? I'll show ya what it means to have it all. =)
Yo whatever
Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 17:53:17 (PST)
[128.253.186.46]
It seems to me that the general pattern of inter-racial topic is asian women selling out(because she can't face her asianess) and asian men being left single (because WHO would want to date/marry an Asian guy) which makes asian men bitter and complain. That is why this topic will never die out. The thing that bothers me the most is that I also come across asian women who sells out. I used to taught that there was something wrong with me. But I realize I am OK it is the people that are insecure that have issues. I get a little upset when I meet asian women who are in denial about themselves. I just feel sorry for them.
I just wish the gender divide will just end and asian women and asian men can just get along and love each other.
Korean boy
Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 15:40:55 (PST)
[24.199.68.157]
CK,
When your own race shortchanges you just because you happen to be the same race as her, it bothers me.
Think of it this way. AFs automatically expect AM to chase them and think they're gods gift to us. Then they get all pissed when we don't.
2 cents,
Yes, I am entitled to my own opinions like you said, maybe trying to convert others is going too far. Mostly I'm just trying to make a counterpoint to "AM have to be the AFs toadie". They don't really deserve to have us.
Relationships work both ways remember. AFs can't expect to take, take, take and then ditch the sucker who fell into their trap.
huu76
Friday, November 15, 2002 at 20:01:23 (PST)
[64.231.96.180]
it occurs to me the board most frequented by huu76 is aa gender divide and it stll has been for a long time...he has been harping upon this board for such a long time w/o getting tired and the undeniable fact is the board is very much his focus on goldsea. A smart and secure man would simply go on and seek good things in life.
Yo.......
Friday, November 15, 2002 at 09:22:22 (PST)
[203.162.132.171]
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