|
|
|
|
|
GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:05:38 PM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage isn't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
CONTACT US
|
ADVERTISING INFO
© 1996-2013 Asian Media Group Inc
No part of the contents of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission.
|
|
|
|
WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Novia
You said you're not trying to pick a fight here. Sure could have fooled me! You're attacking my character without even knowing me and I haven't even heard of you before so I KNOW I haven't said anything negative towards you. So how's that for picking on other women? Sounds like you're all too familiar with the practice. For you information, I am not Black. I am mixed and proud of it. Furthermore, my man and I don't go around bashing other women together. That's silly. Yes, the subject has come up but we certainly don't dwell on it. We have way better things to do with our time together than to care what AF are doing. And as far as being insecure, I HARDLY think so. Not being vain but I have a lot going for me and get hit on all the time from men of every race as most mixed females do. Believe me!! The only men that don't approach daily are Asian men but they do approach from time to time. They are the shiest men I've ever known but even with that in mind, I still managed to get one, didn't I? So don't for a second think I'm jealous or insecure when it comes to other women. And finally, you said I was picking out other women's shortcomings over and over again. Where on earth did THAT come from??? I haven't even been to this site in a long time and just got back. So I'm not exactly in here daily picking on AFs. Yet another "out of the blue" nonfactual comment from you! All I did was comment ONCE on Huu76's behalf that he should be able to speak his mind and you somehow took it personally, evidently. Chill!
CaliGirl
Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 23:31:39 (PST)
[63.233.25.153]
Azn Angel
"Kinda like blue M bash blue F and a red F getting play from blue M take advantage of that to dish blue F by whom she feels threatend/intimidated. haha what a childish attitude...I'm laughing so hard over ..."
Well I'm laughing b/c that made no sense! First of all, for kimchi boy, I am not white. Not sure where you got that assumption from. I am mixed. Azn Angel...yes, I am dating an AM and while he doesn't care about sellout AF, I've heard his family and friends talk about it and realized it's an issue in the Asian community, especially from what I've seen on different boards in GoldSea. I wasn't attacking the people that have different views from Huu76. What I was trying to figure out was why he was being blasted. I went back to look at previous posts but didn't see anything so terrible. Perhaps there were more posts from him that were so far back, I just didn't see them. I didn't see anywhere where he was talking about ALL AFs but some people are talking like he did. And you said that I care way too much about sellout AF. Actually, I don't care at all. But if I'm in a board that is talking about the subject, I see no reason not to put in my 2 cents worth...just like everyone else! I also never said that all AF were sellouts. That's aridiculous statement to make and I wouldn't make it. I know better. I didn't lump them into one category. You are putting words in my mouth and THAT is what's childish!
CaliGirl
Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 23:23:15 (PST)
[63.233.25.153]
T'K Chang
That's a very interesting story and actually sheds some light on the topic for me as well! First, I have to say though that the Century Club IS NOT an Asian club. They have different nights for different types of people and I am well aware there is an "Asian" night. I too live in LA (obviously from my tag "CaliGirl")and have been to the Century Club many, many times and enjoyed it. But as you pointed out, I have never been to ANY club that was predominantly Asian so I can now understand how if you go to a place like that you would naturally see more Asian girls into Asian guys. However, I don't think a nightclub is exactly the best place to go looking for a real relationship...for any race. It's sad to hear that the club scene and nightlife across the US isn't Asian-male friendly, as you put it. I didn't know that. But have you ever really tried talking to girls of other races while you're out? The biggest complaint I've had, along with other females, is that Asian men are way too shy. So I don't think it's so much that women aren't interested, I think it's just we're used to the guy making the first move and if he doesn't, we too, assume he's just not interested in us. You guys need to become more aggressive... not rude, just slightly more aggressive in order to compete with other guys, black, white or latin. I'm also not surprised to hear that there are plenty of white men at these mostly Asian clubs trying to pick up Asian girls. There has been a lot of talk on this site about AF sellouts but that does work both ways. These AF aren't exactly holding a gun to these WM heads. Sometimes the women are doing the pursuing and sometimes the men are. I'm glad to hear that these women are blowing them off too b/c all I've heard is how AF won't give AM the time of day. I'm happy to hear that this isn't the case everywhere.
CaliGirl
Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 23:00:49 (PST)
[63.233.25.153]
"Ain't no party like a West Coast party..."
Ah, the Century Club. Nothing like Proof Positive to bring da house down...hehehehe. Oh yes, and the Asian women....hmmmm.
To my peeps, yes hot Asian women who dig Asian guys do exist. All of my female friends (especially my girl) are HOT, and they don't even bat an eye to any White guys. No doubt.
Word of advice: Stay away from the tourist traps (any clubs on Sunset) unless you want to meet the sell outs.
Al
Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 22:03:31 (PST)
[64.130.204.9]
T'K Chang: yeah you finally see the light as you put it. yes there are plenty of Asian women who are loyal. especially in California where we have more presence and imported Asian pop culture, anime, music, etc. still my only gripe about your post was that is sounded kinda immature man. as in breathless and juvenile. hella hot Asian women who would reject white men comes as no surprise. Many Asian women do appreciate us as we do them. Started with the A.P. movement when young Asian Americans decided we liked being just that.
Asian American Born Guy
Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 21:44:13 (PST)
[65.184.91.9]
I have to agree with T'K Chang. First off I've been to clubs where AF and AM are looking at hooking up with whites. I haven't been to one in years now and don't plan on going to one anytime soon. It really depends on where you hang out. I think it's scary that this is news to some people. If you want fillet mignon you don't go to McDonalds.
Proud 2 b Azn (AM)
Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 20:51:28 (PST)
[209.226.117.168]
take a break,
Posting takes all of 5 (10 if I need to do research :o) minutes. It doesn't take too much brain power.
You do have a point though, maybe I should wait until another/different point gets brought up. Hmmm.
huu76
Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 20:02:27 (PST)
[64.231.97.70]
Teacher,
Kind of funny you chose that. Doesn't that profession require that you preach ignoring rather than beating?
huu76
Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 19:56:17 (PST)
[64.231.97.70]
Dase and Caligirl,
While you're at it, ask Geoff DB too.
I don't like your selective reading. 1. non-AF doesn't equal white, maybe to you it does, 2. were my comments geared towards all blacks or just black men? Nice try, better luck next time.
Yo,
Why would I voice negative opinions about AF to non-AFs? The other forums neither really interest me nor do I feel the need to beat my chest there.
Your last line is very true though. Out of sight, out of mind. I find out of sight kind of hard to come across.
Say someone comes over and punches you in the head every morning. That's a crappy 2 seconds of your morning wouldn't you agree? After a few weeks, don't you think it'd start to bother you a bit?
T'K Chang,
Absolute and relative numbers are two different things.
Out of curiosity, was the white a leftover?
Is every 2nd day too often? Maybe I should only grace you with my presence once a week. Whatever.
huu76
Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 19:52:00 (PST)
[64.231.97.70]
CaliGirl,
The problem with huu76 is that he's repetitive as hell. I think most of his posts are about bashing AFs and how much of babe magnet he is, and how much AFs are missing out. That's really annoying. He's entitled to have his own opinions, but he doesn't have to overstated all the time. And take a good look from previous posts, you'll see that this guys praises WFs, god knows what he thinks of LFs and BFs.
huu76
"When your own race shortchanges you just because you happen to be the same race as her, it bothers me."
So, you DO care about being with an AF, but you're pissed cuz you're not getting any. That's funny, from your previous posts I thought you only liked WFs
"Think of it this way. AFs automatically expect AM to chase them and think they're gods gift to us. Then they get all pissed when we don't."
I've bumped in to some of those. But they've been very few. And I don't think that "I'm too good for you" attitude is exclusive from AFs.
If you take a good look around you'll probably notice that there's more AM/AF than AF/Non-AM and AM/Non-AF couples. And many times when you see an AF with non-asian guys is not because they don't like asian guys but more because they don't really care about ethnicity that much and/or because they like that particular guy they're with. I've met girls who claim they'd never let be seen with an asian guy. But that's been very few times. This gender divide thing is not as big and negative as you claim it is. If you don't believe me, go out there and count the asian couples you see on the street and you'll see what I mean.
ck
Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 19:42:12 (PST)
[196.40.43.218]
CaliGirl,
Why don't you ask huu76 his TRUE feelings about Black people (as seen here on Goldsea)? Maybe you will soon change your mind about him.
Huu
If you want to date WF only, that's your choice. But there is no need to constantly bash AF to justify it. You never say 'some AFs' or 'alot of AFs' just 'AFs' period. Are ALL the AFs you meet a bunch of sell-out materialistic snobs? I'm sorry but you do sound very bitter about something. It seems like most of the time you post it is to critisize AFs and Blacks.
Novia,
CaliGirl was critising sell-out AFs, not ALL AFs.
Dase
Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 04:16:31 (PST)
[213.52.200.140]
Not all Asian girls are "sell-outs". The gender divide can be bridged. You just have to know how. More specifically, you just have to know WHERE. The types of Asian girls you run into depend on the kind of place you hang out. If any Asian man in here is suffering a serious blow to his self-esteem because he has seen too many Asian women selling out and stepping over Asian men for White men, then I say he has been going to the wrong places. So, please let me recommend a remedy to reassert your Asian manhood: SEEK OUT AND GO TO THE RIGHT PLACES.
At the right places, you can witness many (HOT) Asian girls blowing off (some very good-looking) white boys and then approaching other Asian guys. I know because I have seen it happened *AND* it has happened to me. You just have to go to the right places. There are many such bars and clubs in L.A., you just have to know where to find them. Those places are about 90% Asians. The other 10% are (heehee) white guys who go there to pick up Asian girls (*sigh* apparently they do not know better *LOL*.) My experience with those places is that the girls there are disproportionally and unusually HOT, much more so than the typical night scene (again, it all depends on the places; Asian girls tend to be petite and in good shape anyway.) When I say the place is filled with unusually proportionate amount of HOT chicks, I mean there is virtually NO fat or ugly chic there. In most non-Asian clubs, you see around 20-30% fat, ugly and undo-able chics if you are lucky.
I am going to share with you an exhilarating life-changing experience. About eight months ago, I complained to an Asian friend about my troubles in the night and dating scenes. Being new to L.A., I thought the night and dating scenes in L.A. were very hostile to Asian males (actually, they were hostile to Asian males all over the U.S.) I told him that it was hard for Asian males to compete with other males in the dating and night scenes, especially in the interracial dating scene (a subject I will probably discuss here in the future.) Women in bars and clubs were generally not receptive to Asian men, and then White men just loved to "cut in" when I was already talking to girls (how wude!) So my friend suggested that he wanted to bring me to a "place" to help cheer me up. He did not elaborate what type of place he wanted to show me.
That weekend he brought me to Century Club in Century City, Los Angeles. My first impression was the place was overfilled with an incredibly porportion of incredibly YOUNG HOT Asian women (I did not know it was an Asian club when I first went there; my friend had not elaborate.) Then I noticed there was not a single fat or ugly chic in the club, which was unusual (I know this is hard to believe unless you were there yourself.) Some time during the night, I was sitting on the balconey on the second floor, overlooking the people dancing on the first floor (on yeah, there was a HOT Asian girl who was dancing on a raised platform and SHE WAS NOT WEARING ANY PANTY!)
Then another young Asian girl who had been dancing on a raised platform sat down right beside me. I would rate her AT LEAST a 9 on the scale of 10. (Hey, she danced on one of the two raised platforms; you know she had to be gorgeous and had a hot body; heck, all the girls who took turned to dance on the platforms were 9 or 10.) Almost immediately right after she sat down beside me, a young good-looking white college kid tried to pick her up. Immediately, my inner reaction to that white kid was "UGH!" Amazingly enough, she blew him off, in a not very nice way! More amazingly enough, only seconds (not even minutes) after she blew that white guy off, she actually started talking to me. And I was just sitting there, minding my business and not even doing anything! I was definitely flattered. I was pleasantly suprised to see a gorgeous Asian girl blowing off a White boy and then trying to pick up an Asian guy (i.e., me!) Okay, I felt absolutely exhilarating at an Asian girl blowing off a white guy to pick up an Asian man :) (That night I was actually approached by three different girls, all good-looking, just by sitting there and doing nothing. Yes, it can happen. I have seen the light.)
That is not the only time that kind it happened. Since then, I have been seeking out and going to other "Asian-male-friendly" night scenes. I have seen over and over again hot gorgeous Asian girls blowing off white guys and going for Asian men (myself included.) I have seen it happened many times, to me and other Asian men. I still enjoy seeing it happens, especially when it happen to me ;) It is always nice to see Asian girls blowing off white guys and then going for Asian men. It can actually happen, a lot. You just have to know where to go to see it happens.
So, is Asian females selling out an epidemic? A year ago I would answer a definitive "Yes". Now I say: "it depends on where you go and the crowd you hang out with." If you go to a "mixed" bar or nightclub (mixed, meaning most people there are white,) then you should expect to run into Asian "sell-outs", as well as PLENTY of aggressive white men who enjoy stepping over the dead bodies of Asian men. Just think about it: Why do single Asian girls go to places filled with white guys in the first place? To sell out, D'uh! Of course, I would not go to a mixed place to pick up Asian girls anyway. I go there when I am in the mood for some variety. So I suppose I am a sell-out tooo. :o)
T'K Chang
t_k_chang@yahoo.com
Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 22:01:37 (PST)
[207.167.96.65]
There are AM here and there who express their frustration over AF selling out…THis I can understand. but Huu 76 seem to be among the very few who flog to brutally senseless death the same issue to the point that his sole purpose to go to this site here seem to bash, criticize sellout AF. I don’t intend/want to see him as a loser but inevitable he is giving off bad vibes. If he doesn’t give a damn about AF, go to other foums there are so many things much more interesting than this topic. If something piss you so much don’t pay any attention to it anymore. Because it won’t do any harm to those sellout people, however it steal you a lot of time and make you nouriah even more anger, bitterness which is certainly not good at all.
Yo...
Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 20:41:36 (PST)
[61.11.245.8]
I'm not much for ganging up on anyone, but huu76 reminds me of the little boy in the schoolyard who needs to get his butt kicked by his fellow classmates.
teacher
Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 16:42:45 (PST)
[208.48.177.5]
NEWEST COMMENTS |
EARLIER COMMENTS
|