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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:05:36 PM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage isn't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
I can't believe all these whiteboys coming in here and touting Connie Chung and her likes as "lookers" -- LMAO!!! :D Y
You boys must have beer goggles on 24-7.
Jesus, all those women are AVERAGE. Definately not unpleasant to look at, but I sure as hell don't get excited when I see them. In fact, I'm more apt to switch the channel if there's anything good on on another channel.
I want each and every one of you blind asses to do a search on the following Asian women:
Un Jung Hwa
Hyori or the Korean music group Finkle
Jaymee Ong
Faye Wong
These are all very beautiful women, and they blow LUCY LIU, CONNIE CHUNG, etc. out of the muthafucken water any day of the week. Oh my fucking god.... I can't believe what whiteboys find attractive. It's just hilarious to me.
I know that you guys get offended when Asians say "you can have em.... we wouldn't want them anyways", but I swear to god, it's usually the truth. I know so many guys, especially white ones, that think Lucy Liu is hot, but she is slightly cross eyed, for godssakes!! Like Kate Moss. I find her nasty too for that reason. Lisa Ling has the worst smile I have ever seen. Someone say "Mr. Ed" for me. Please. Connie Chung reminds me of my friend's mom. I'm not trying to be mean, just really freakin' honest.
As some people maintain, there's an ounce of truth in every sterotype. Yep, about white guys being stinky and hairy, Asians being less athletic, blacks not being as smart. Those things might be the result of environmental/societal/ cultural inequalities, but at the present time, it's true. Asians can place more emphasis on exercise like black did way back, and get better. Blacks can strive to climb out of poverty and raise overall education levels. White people can shower more often(hehe..jk). No ifs and buts. It's some really un-PC stuff, and it does piss people off including myself. But you just have to face the music. The fact is that most AFs that WMs find attractive and go after, Asians in general wouldn't do a double take.
What DOES bugs me about AFs dating WMs is that a lot of them always think they have something to prove to society. Esp. on the part of the Asian woman. I see the same from AMs sometimes. They look so damn proud to have a white person on their arms.
I lost my virginity to a blonde girl in 9th grade, and they (WF) have been a regular part of my dating and sex life since, although I am with an asian woman right now (she may be the "one" -- yeah! =)).
My point is that no one except sexually frustrated men and women give a flying crap if you're with some stupid white chick or some white boy. They are people. They are not a status symbol, and I want people around here to understand that.
I think that is where people get rubbed the wrong way, this notion that white mates are status symbols. I guess its a reflection of the political/power balance in this country, and even around the world. White men hold most of the power in the U.S., and white women are touted as the most beautiful in the world. Therefore, against this backdrop, I can see why non-whites who date whites see themselves as so special. It's a classical case of validation thru an object that is deemed valuable. Like the geeky engineering school graduate driving his shiny new Jaguar roadster in his suspenders and shorts. Or the dude with the teeny tiny dick who's got all the nice clothes, gadgets and the moves, but can't bring the goods when it matters. Get the picture?
It's an ILLUSION.
Btw Rob, I wasn't one bit impressed with your description of your gf. oooooh... wow. Yipee yay. Just keep it to yourself pal. No one really cares, except frustrated, angry guys and gals. And dont forget to take your PC open-minded propaganda with you on the way out. Just be real. Besides, looks are all relative. I might find your gf mildly attractive, while you may think she is hotter than a baked potato. Of course, if both of you really were fine (as in MODEL fine), then I'll look and feel a tinge of envy. I'm only human after all. Then I would love to tap your woman, no offense.
Also, the same goes for Huu76. I wouldn't be one bit impressed if you had a white girl on your arm unless she was a knockout. so what? You wanna cookie, man?
AM, 26 - I've seen it all
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 20:43:03 (PST)
[128.253.186.46]
To say that everyone in an interracial relationship is butt-ugly is over-exagerated. I've dated outside my race more times than dating girls of my own ethnicity, and I look good (mommy says so) as well as most of the girls I've been with. But I do see the point to what TK Chang says. Many interracial couples I've bumped to are below average looking; a geeky guy with a geeky girl getting some sweet geeky lovin'. Of course I've also seen couples who look like they came out of a magazine cover, but it hasn't been that often.
ck
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 19:17:42 (PST)
[196.40.43.218]
Rob,
Michelle Yeoh, Bai Ling, Lucy Liu, and Connie Chung are all pretty damn ugly.
There goes your theory.
Now if you said Sung Hi Lee, Kim Hee Sun, Kristen Kreuk I would have given some credibility to your post.
You see, white people cannot tell if an asian girl is hot or not. They just go for anything with slanty eyes and black hair.
I am sure many asian guys have hit on your girlfriend. But quality asian guys? Probably not.
taketheuglyones
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 17:53:36 (PST)
[66.192.194.121]
Rob:
"...One AM (not in my presence) asked her out, when she told him that she had a White boyfriend..."
Huh? That does sound kinda odd. "When she told him that she had a white boyfriend?!" do you know how weird that sound?
i have been rejected by girls who claimed that they had boyfriends, many many times. they always told me: "i have a boyfriend" or "i'm with someone." never, i repeat, never have a girl specifically told me that she had a "white/black/ brown/yellow/purple/pink/ multi-colored" boyfriend. the color of her boyfriend is irrelevant. any sensible girl would not tell a man (a stranger who tries to pick her up) that her boyfriend is white or otherwise. it is incredibly insensible for an asian girl to blow off an asian guy by telling him that she had a white boyfriend.
your message does shed some lights on your girlfriend's inner self. so, what does your asian girlfriend do on her spare time anyway? does she go around and announce to everyone that she has a white boyfriend? i can imagine what she does as an extracurricular activity:
"hey, everyone, listen up! i have a boyfriend and he's white! look at my white boyfriend there! he's my boyfriend and he's white!!! everyone, look at me, look at me! look at meeeee! look at me with my whiteeee boyfriend!!! see how white he is! woo-hoo. i have a white boyfriend!"
do you see my point? i think in your message you have unwittingly revealed her underlying self-esteem issue.
rob:
"one am (not in my presence) asked her out, and when she told him that she had a white boyfriend, he told her that he never wanted her anyway."
you know, if your asian girlfriend was insensible enough to blow off an asian guy by telling him that she had a white boyfriend (when her white boyfriend was not around,) then the asian guy should and could be rude to her. she could have just said: "i have a boyfriend" like everyone else. but instead she played it as a race issue by announcing to an unknown asian man that she had a white boyfriend. i do not think anyone in here (other than you) would feel sorry for her.
(just imagine what would happen if a white girl blowed off a white guy by telling him that she had a black or asian boyfriend. I can assure you that there would be a good chance the White guy would not be so kindly to leave with just a rude comment.)
T'K Chang
t_k_chang@yahoo.com
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 17:20:31 (PST)
[207.167.96.71]
Rob:
"I've felt compelled to respond to the anti-white rhetoric that is taking place on this forum. I'm referring specifically to T'K Chang's assertion that ugly AF date WM."
Hey, Rob needs to stop putting words in my mouth. Not all AFs who date WMs are ugly. Most good-looking afs date good-looking wms, and most ugly afs date good-looking wms. most of all, it is the average looking afs dating the average dating wms. that is because most people are average looking anyway. but i have seen ugly afs with good-looking wms and good-looking afs with ugly wms. but they are not common. (and the good-looking wms who date ugly afs are using a skewed beauty standard.)
you should read my previous message carefully:
"good-looking white males dating butt-ugly asian females are minority among WM/AF couples...In general, people do date other people who are (about) their equal in the look department,...even when dating across the racial bondaries...Good-looking men usually date good-looking women. Ugly men usually date ugly women..."
T'K Chang
t_k_chang@yahoo.com
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 17:20:08 (PST)
[207.167.96.71]
Rob:
"I also want to point out that many beautiful women from Asia date or marry white men. Look at Michelle Yeoh, Bai Ling, Lucy Liu, and Connie Chung (who was a real looker when she was younger). These are women who are respected and desired by Asian men as well as white men."
Michelle Yeoh was Miss Malaysia once. But--Surprise to rob!--michelle yeoh's husband was film producer dickson poon, who's chinese. i am not aware that michelle yeoh has ever dated a white man.
i have never paid too much attention to bai ling. i have just looked up her photos. she was fine, but she did not blow me away. i would give her an 8, at most. i will have to get a good look at her if i get to see her on the big screen.
most asian men do not consider lucy liu as good looking. i have just written about her in the message titled "real-world examples of ugly wm/aw celebrity couples" (the second message before yours.) we (i.e, asian men) consider her as below average. lucy liu is the perfect example of what white men think is hot while asian men think is just so-so.
connie chung was average when she was young, not a "real looker" as you thought she was.
now i really think white men and asian men do not have the same standard for evaluating Asian beauty.
T'K Chang
t_k_chang@yahoo.com
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 17:18:35 (PST)
[207.167.96.71]
Rob:
michellle yeoh hooks up w/ a white guy??
As far as i know she is dating an asian guy. however i'm not up to date w/ her private life.
as for bai ling and lucy liu, they are not that great looking.
huu:
women form all races do surgery. so are you gonna write off all race women on this earth. as for the hair, not all asians who do it are whitewashed. i dyed my hair once. it's a woman thing to change looks from time to time. what's wrong w/ experimenting new looks?
it's like changing clothes fashion. WW do surgery to enhance theri looks: cat eyes, full lips. so are you gonna have a hrad time trusting WW? surgery is more prevalent in european countries, lebanon, us than it is in Asia.
may be you have a hard time trusting women. But any woman would have a hard tiem trusting you.
your shallow, myopic view lead you to pathetic situation. well i won't argue w/ you anymore because i know it would lead to nothing.
you would never ever change your view so my suggestion for other posters on this board is to ignore huu 76's posts. You will never change his views. Arguing w/ him wastes lots of time. Just feel sorry for him cos he's a pathetic loser. He will always come to this board and constantly criticize/ bash AF. there's nothing you could do about it. So just ignore him. that is his view and there isn't a dmamn thing yuo could do about it. Just feel sorry for him that he ican never change his view and attititude.Let him babling on and we don't have to give a second thought to it. a lot of ppl already get exhausted reading his post and engaing in fruitless arguments. You'll save lots of time ignoring this guy. He will will always come to this board so deal w/ it.
Loser!
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 14:44:54 (PST)
[61.11.245.7]
Most of my beefs are from "observations" of attractive or intelligent AF dating ugly or stupid ass men (of any race except there own).
so you are really hung up on something that isn''t worth it. the entire relationship is judged based on appearance. that is shallow.
Loser!
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 14:14:30 (PST)
[61.11.245.7]
To answer your question, actually, my experiences talking to AF are neither good nor bad. I don't give it much thought
i'm surprised this issue seem to have such a deep impact on his life. Loser...!
One word for you: buzz off..somketimes hard headedness is synonymous to bigotry. You'll always look bad in people's eyes. You opinions won't be worth 2 cents here.
You seem to be a weakminded guy. I 'll even feel sorry for you if you don't understand why.
loser!
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 14:04:40 (PST)
[61.11.245.7]
Rob,
Before you told some of the AMs here to be more open-minded, let's look at how WMs respond to interracial couples involving WF and non-WMs, say OJ and Nicole Simpson. How many white guys are jealous at OJ's having married to a gorgeous slim blonde? The answer is overwhelmingly many.
Bai Ling, Lucy Liu, and Connie Chung are not considered beautiful by many AMs, as already pointed out by other AMs in other posts. Lucy Liu and Connie Chung hate being Asian. That's why they date or marry and only date or marry whites, not blacks, not hispanic and certainly not Asian.
Have you ever asked your AF gf whether she would still date you if you are not white, say black or hispanic?
FOP
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 09:56:29 (PST)
[65.147.89.42]
Here's a picture of Amy Tan. What do you think on her looks (I personally think she's butt-ugly).
http://www.librarycommunityfoundation.org/Archive/1998/amy.html
Amy Tan nemesis (AM)
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 09:05:12 (PST)
[207.172.11.148]
Rob,
If you are truly open minded,
then what was with the "who was a real hooker when she was younger" comment? What does that have to do with your post? Are you implying that it is not unusual (and therefore common) for Asian women to be hookers?
Huu76,
plenty of Asian guys dye their hair blonde or brown as well. (Just so you know)
TAG
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 08:59:26 (PST)
[164.107.188.18]
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