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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
AA ATTITUDES TOWARD EXTRAMARITAL FLINGS
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:04:08 PM)
bought 50% of American marriages end in divorce. An Asian American couple is only half as likely to suffer that fate. Theories abound to explain this marked difference. Asians are simply more committed to keeping the family together at all cost, goes the prevailing theory.
Others point to the fact that cheating plays a key role in the majority of American divorces and attribute the durability of AA unions to differing attitudes toward extramarital liaisons. Asian men may be less likely to cheat, say some. Asian women are less likely to see their mate's sexual fidelity as the litmus test for staying together, others argue, because they don't consider the sexual bond to be at the center of the relationship and aren't as threatened by a fling. After all, in traditional Asian societies affluent men sometimes had multiple wives and/or concubines. Even in modern Asian societies male executives are often expected to cavort with paid hostesses as part of routine business entertaining.
Younger Asian Americans would probably deny they harbor such sexist notions. The only difference between themselves and other American couples, they might argue, is that they typically marry later, avoiding the tribulations of impulsive youthful marriages. Otherwise, they harbor all the same gender-neutral expectations of romantic love and fidelity.
What attitudes do Asian Americans have toward extramarital flings? What role do they play in the durability of Asian marriages?
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
you women disgust me,
I am not the expert on relationship. I only say how I feel. Can you really say that human is perfect? No one is perfect. We are the human being and make mistake. Do you belief in Buddha? Do know what he say? Anyway I never say that I am perfect woman. I am only the human being okay? So don't jump down in my throat okay? I just feel astrologies and other things in the life is not the answer to solve problem with relationship. Nothing is. I am only telling you people that noone is ever faithful and trust. Noone can control the urge to sleep with others because the human being is weak. We can sometimes control it and takes patient and meditate for that one. I love my boyfriend. Don't you understand? Only his roomate provide for me sometime nuture and affection with no financial. Right now its different. My boyfriend is on work vacation so we spend time together for now. Now I do not feel so lonely. Next week he will have to go back to work and I will feel lonely again by myself. I will need someone to hug me and love with me. Do you see what I am telling you? You see what I mean?
cantonese flower
Sunday, December 29, 2002 at 10:51:43 (PST)
[209.214.169.64]
Cantonese Flower just made herself out to be a cheap whore. That's alright, she'll get what she deserves. What goes around comes around. When your looks fade and they will, people will use and DISCARD you. Unless they're doing it already..hee..hee.
A woman of intelligence doesn't need to spread her legs to get money. What a bimbo. A real woman doesn't need to use her looks and body..not when she's smart and independant and has a job that she earned by not lying on her back.
MAI
Saturday, December 28, 2002 at 06:02:46 (PST)
[207.132.131.54]
"I am thinking of keeping my boyfriend for financial reasons, and at the same time I will keep his roomate for sex part. This way, I will have both happiness."
cantonese flower
Hmmm..and a lot of asian men and women label white women as sluts and that white women just use men??? Here's a perfect example of an asian girl with no morals, decency, or respect for other human beings' feelings. And asian girls are supposed to have been brought up so much better than white women? I think not. I am a white woman dating an asian man and I would NEVER DREAM of treating him like that. I wouldn't treat someone I hated like that. Maybe cantonese flower is just an asian man mocking asian women that are loose.
Don't blame your lack of moral strength and character on biological forces. Everyone is prey to such forces but as human beings we have something called WILL and CONSCIENCE to override these forces.
you women disgust me
Friday, December 27, 2002 at 08:32:51 (PST)
[207.183.117.61]
Hi Oleg,
No disrespect to you but astrology sucks! I have had like 2 readings. They told me that I don't love my boyfriend and that he does not love me. Then this one said that she also does not think he loves me. And the funny thing? He has my pictures in his photo album next to the pictures of his parents(they both passed away)and his sisters. He told me that he has my pictures there right next to them because this is how close he feel with me. He said I mean very much to him. No psychics can tell you how the heart truly feels on the inside. No psychic can tell you how deep and strong the bond is between someone that you love. No matter how hard I have try to move on I feel too connected to him. And I cannot leave, and do not want to. He is the same.
sorry Oleg
Friday, December 27, 2002 at 08:22:59 (PST)
[209.214.168.24]
I think it depends on two persons. Personaly I am into astrology. Before I move onto any female I need to know everything that is possible about her. I am a scorpio in sun. I go very well with females who are pisceans in sun. Astrology is very true because it was researched over hundreds of years. SO, before marrying someone, which is a big step to do, go to astrologer and find out how campatable you are. Your future depends on it.
Oleg
neo@endofdays.net
Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 23:10:43 (PST)
[68.81.19.109]
I am not perfect and I don't ever claim to be. I do know that all human nature is not perfect. It is what is imbreed in us. Noone is ever faitful and trust. Why do people think it is such an impossible thing to be realist? I am only saying the truth! Noone can control the urge to sleep with others. I love my boyfriend but his roomate provide for me the nuture and affection. My boyfriend is the financial leader and he spend his money on me and on the bills for the roof above our heads. He is very important to me. I do love him. I love his roomate as a brother and sister relationship. We can lie in the bed and watch television or read the newspaper. Sometimes we just fall asleep in my bed when my boyfriend is at his job because we are both feeling loneliness. Do you understand what I am telling you? Noone can control this. Everyone has it. Not everyone is open to talk about it like me.
cantonese flower
Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 16:38:08 (PST)
[209.214.171.33]
Cantonese Flower,
Gosh!! you're making yourself so low and presented yourself so cheap. You're a slut. Shame on you!. Where's your dignity girl!!!???.
Rosalinda
Friday, December 20, 2002 at 00:32:53 (PST)
[210.195.54.62]
My ex husband and I divorced. Now I have moved on after the 5 years and I have a boyfriend. My ex is constantly approaching me to get me to cheat on my boyfriend. My ex disgusts me. He has no regard for my new relationship or the strong feelings that I have for my current boyfriend. He also had the nerve to ask me for money too! What a JERK!
troylisa
Tuesday, November 26, 2002 at 08:18:21 (PST)
[152.163.189.237]
I was with a man for 8 years married. I was faithful to him and never strayed. He was the first man I had ever been with and I was naive. This man ended up having affairs on me. I didn't find out until years later down the line. He gave me two STD (fortunately cureable ones!) and had rude gay men calling the home. Well its over now. He filed for the divorce so that he could marry him. He told me that he never loved me. I am sorry that I went through that feeling of betrayal because it broke my heart and it feels like I am empty inside. Now I can never trust someone completely anymore. I am afraid to get into a relationship. I have decided to just remain celebate. I have been left with our daughter to raise alone, and he has moved in with his boyfriend. Our daughter is now 5 years old. I don't want her to experience what I have. How can you tell if a man is really gay? They never tell you. They just cheat with men and then later tell you that you must have known it all along, which is a lie.
Y.Chung
Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 11:35:10 (PST)
[205.188.209.134]
Men are like assorted candy. If it tases good, try it for a while. Then, if you want another flavor? Throw the other piece away and try another.
Haha! Just kidding!
I think relationships should be taken seriously. Nowadays people do treat others like they were candy. Its pathetic and sad. No one seems to value marriage and morals anymore.
morale and decency
Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 05:01:43 (PST)
[205.188.209.134]
Miss Yu, you're like a budding Cantonese Flower. You'll be just like her soon. You have no morals either and any decent guy would stay miles away from you.
proud girl with morals
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 10:06:27 (PST)
[207.183.118.60]
I agree with you guys. I think Cantonese Flower's actions are very disturbing and sick. People like her are an embarrassment to the female gender.
(Sexy Miss Yu) ^-^
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 15:36:11 (PST)
[205.188.209.134]
I am thinking of keeping my boyfriend for financial reasons, and at the same time I will keep his roomate for sex part. This way, I will have both happiness.
cantonese flower
What goes around comes around, and I hope this can happen to you in the worst way. How can you do that to someone. People have feelings you know, they not animals, like you. Don't worry one day, you will cry when someone just do that back to you. You give all women bad names. Your a slut. Girls like you that i will stay far away from. No decent guy will be with a girl like you. Not me or anyone else. So your left alone, doing it yourself.
kaaaaazz
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 13:25:08 (PST)
[162.83.147.41]
cantonese flower,
Are you a "guy pig". Thats what happen with pigs, they sleep with who they wish and live to tell about it. As for human being not having any control. This is bull and you know why. If we, people don't have control then this world will be caotic. And you will see more and more victims of rape. Overall, your worst then all the guys and you gave women bad name. If every girls is like you, I don't know where the world is going and what will happen to society at large. lol Your the funniest thing on this site. If you have an urge, no need to worry, let me know, NOT. lol, you probably have stds.
lokiloki
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 12:56:02 (PST)
[162.83.147.41]
I have not had an affair with a married man yet. I do however really enjoy flirting with men. Especially ones already in a relationship. I will flirt with a man even if he is holding hands with his girl. I could care less. I always get their attention and its really so much fun! I love seeing the angry jealous face of the woman every time her man winks at me, or licks his lips and smiles. I like to dress sexy and attract attention. I am young and pretty and I deserve to enjoy life. I am not in a relationship right now. I just want to have fun and flirt alot. I flirt with absolutely everyone. Doctors, Lawyers, Buddhist Monks, Teachers, Business Men you name it. If their a guy and they like women, I always get their attention!
(Sexy Miss Yu) ^-^
MadameYu@sexyasia.com
Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 10:05:09 (PST)
[152.163.189.103]
"Even the "eye contact" is like sex if it is done in an obvious way. It is sex in the mind and eyes.
try to play it less harm"
I fully agree with you. In my case however, I throw out the gill net and whoever I catch will be under consideration for further delvings into the realm of the here and now. Don't just wander around the supermarket ogling bored housewives. Take your show on the road my brother. See who wants to go the extra steps and not just look. Call their bluff. I even used it on public transport and gyms and waiting lobbies.
hotmale
Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 19:45:51 (PST)
[152.163.189.103]
I agree with nympho and ABC college guy. Cantonese Unflowered you are utterly pathetic. You give women a bad name. Can't you admit that what you are doing is just wrong? Why do you need to come on here, for some sick kind of attention? Cheating is wrong- this is a fact. There are some of us modern females that are liberated but still have a strong sense of morality and loyalty to our man.
proud girl with morals
Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 09:42:47 (PST)
[207.183.117.60]
cantonese flower,
lol. Just because you whored around, it doesn't mean that everybody else is genetically programmed to do so. Unlike you. Hey babe, why don't you send me a pic, and then we'll meet up. I'm a large Korean dude, btw. You'll like me. You won't be able to resist me.
I mean, duh... maybe you should consider a new career in Japanese or asian porn if your sex drive is so great that you can't control yourself.
Nympho....
Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 06:32:32 (PST)
[128.253.186.46]
damn... cantonese flower is the kind of woman we decent men of all nationalities and backgrounds hate. the cheating whore. to use your bf for money while having sex with his roomate on the side? i hope he wises up and leaves you for a woman worthy of his love, devotion, and respect. today's so-called post-modern liberal society needs a wake up call and find a moral center that isn't there anymore. I'm not advocating a society envisioned by the extreme right, but one where people are encouraged to believe in the dignity of honesty and integrity in relationships and life in general. i can imagine the bile he would taste and the bitterness he would experience should your bf find out. your bf's roomate is a sad f*ck and i'm surprised he's chinese like your bf. he is definitely no brother to any man but a backstabbing b*stard who deserves to get his ass kicked... you should break up with your bf to be fair to him then openly go with his roomate as this is the least you can do.
abc college guy
Monday, October 28, 2002 at 17:00:35 (PST)
[65.184.91.9]
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