|
|
|
|
|
GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
AA ATTITUDES TOWARD EXTRAMARITAL FLINGS
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:03:52 PM)
bought 50% of American marriages end in divorce. An Asian American couple is only half as likely to suffer that fate. Theories abound to explain this marked difference. Asians are simply more committed to keeping the family together at all cost, goes the prevailing theory.
Others point to the fact that cheating plays a key role in the majority of American divorces and attribute the durability of AA unions to differing attitudes toward extramarital liaisons. Asian men may be less likely to cheat, say some. Asian women are less likely to see their mate's sexual fidelity as the litmus test for staying together, others argue, because they don't consider the sexual bond to be at the center of the relationship and aren't as threatened by a fling. After all, in traditional Asian societies affluent men sometimes had multiple wives and/or concubines. Even in modern Asian societies male executives are often expected to cavort with paid hostesses as part of routine business entertaining.
Younger Asian Americans would probably deny they harbor such sexist notions. The only difference between themselves and other American couples, they might argue, is that they typically marry later, avoiding the tribulations of impulsive youthful marriages. Otherwise, they harbor all the same gender-neutral expectations of romantic love and fidelity.
What attitudes do Asian Americans have toward extramarital flings? What role do they play in the durability of Asian marriages?
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
CONTACT US
|
ADVERTISING INFO
© 1996-2013 Asian Media Group Inc
No part of the contents of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission.
|
|
|
|
WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Shakespeare, and AC Dropout,
You don't understand. You cannot control the body functions. When the body has temptation there is nothing you can do. We were all born into sin right? A man wants what he wants. He wanted and how can someone refuse what the body needs for? Do you see what I am saying? This was out of my control. I gave in because the desire was too strong. Noone can resist that.
cantonese flower
Monday, September 16, 2002 at 11:50:10 (PDT)
[152.163.189.237]
cantonese flower,
You make me laugh.
AC Dropout
Friday, September 13, 2002 at 10:04:16 (PDT)
[24.90.98.143]
Cantonese Flower:
"I did not want this to happen, but it did. Women cannot control the strength of a man. If a man wants a woman there is no way to stop him."
If you truly didn't want this to happen and were unable to stop him, then you were raped. However, based upon your earlier post, you said "I will keep his roomate for sex part" it sounds like you did want it to happen, you were consentual and it wasn't rape.
If a woman doesn't want a man who wants her, then she will find a way to stop him, otherwise he will end up in jail and "becoming a woman" for some bigger guy.
Shakespeare
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 06:27:16 (PDT)
[161.159.4.21]
Cantonese Flower,
You said:
"Women cannot control the strength of a man."
-- I believe you just described a 'loose' woman with a weakness for sexual pleasure. Btw, there is a difference between having a healthy sexual appetite and being addicted to sex (and thus being indiscriminate about where one gets it from).
"If a man wants a woman there is no way to stop him."
- Sure there is. Just clamp those legs together, don't open them. Duh...
If you give your man some diesease or have a kid and pass it off as his, then you deserved to be sterilized.
Here we go again....
Wednesday, September 11, 2002 at 23:07:33 (PDT)
[128.253.186.46]
I saw it coming ages ago,
Listen. I had no idea that I was going to sleep with my boyfriends roomate. It just happened. I did not want this to happen, but it did. Women cannot control the strength of a man. If a man wants a woman there is no way to stop him. The human body is impossible to control. Noone can resist tempted.
cantonese flower
Wednesday, September 11, 2002 at 11:47:08 (PDT)
[152.163.189.103]
cantonese flower,
Bad girl, bad girl, bad bad girl.
Good luck explaining this situation when it comes tumbling down.
AC Dropout
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 13:37:06 (PDT)
[24.90.98.143]
Cantonese flower is exhibiting the female version of the classic "Madonna-Whore Syndrome"--in women it's called the "Daddy-Don Juan Syndrome." They see one man as a provider/source of stability/sensitive guy while the other guy is a hot lover who sweeps her away. The only cure for this is for her to allow herself to let one man fulfill both roles for her instead of trying to compartmentalize her life the way she has. She needs to quit putting her boyfriend in a box and drop the roommate.
Shakespear
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 06:08:50 (PDT)
[161.159.4.20]
Cantonese Flower,
See? I TOLD you that you would end up doing more with that guy. Haha.... poor guy. I feel sorry for your boyfriend. I urge you to do the morally right thing and break it off with him, but the choice is ultimately yours.
I saw it coming ages ago.
Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 01:55:22 (PDT)
[128.253.186.46]
AM 32,
I can understand how you felt. You went to a woman who satisfy you. When you are sexually compatible things are intense. I am in a predicament that has escalated now. I was only touching with someone. As of this Saturday, we started having sex. I am thinking of keeping my boyfriend for financial reasons, and at the same time I will keep his roomate for sex part. This way, I will have both happiness.
cantonese flower
Monday, September 09, 2002 at 13:14:37 (PDT)
[205.188.209.134]
AM 32,
Hey man, I'm not here to judge you. If the two of us were close friends I'd just give you support. Things happen for a reason. Maybe the guy is a jerk and this is happening for a reason. I dunno.
"You just have to take the lumps that Life gives and ride with the waves."
I've had a few bad relationships. Some have bit me in the ass.
I just hope you're practicing safe sex and the guy never finds out and comes looking for you. Don't like to hear bad things happen to anyone, especially Asians.
Take care of yourself.
Geoff DB
GeoffDB02@aol.com
Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 12:45:36 (PDT)
[172.192.38.16]
AM 32 the Whoreman,
Hi Whoreman. I think yes, my tag does speak for itself. It speaks of how trashy you are. You are scum. You cheat and sleep with men's wives. You think women are a piece of fresh meat for you. It like your some kind of wild animal waiting to devour womenmeat. You are disgusting. Why are men like you allowed to still exist? What goes around will come around. You are going to have someone special in your life. Do you know what is going to happen? Some slutty guy just like yourself, is gonna steal her away behind your back. That is going to be soooo coooool. I can't wait until that happens to you. Or, you may never ever meet the right woman because you will be ladden with venereal disease and bacteria. That is also going to be very funny. Because this is what is going to happen to YOu trashy cheap slut. Have some decency and some pride. You are NO GOOD. You make it seem like All Men are Whores. My ex cheated on me. Know what I did to him? Front kicked him straight in the balls so hard then I made him crawl away! He had to crawl out of my apartment to leave, because I kicked his dumb cheating a$$ OUT of my apartment. I'd love to do that to you. Oh I forgot. Some Cheating ManWhores like you don't have any balls.
AM 32 is still a professional Whoreman
Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 06:15:51 (PDT)
[152.163.189.237]
[Cute. Now leave this forum as you're only here to stifle discussions of EM relationships. --Ed]
"You're right, it could also happen to me. It could happen to you. Heck, Hugh Grant cheated on Elizabeth Hurley. What a moron! Sometimes, even if a man or woman tries his best to be a good wife/husband, thing can go wrong."
Sorry people but AM32 has several hard to argue points. Let's not forget that more than half(52%) of marriages here in the US end in divorce court. As AM32 pointed out, he didn't initiate the relationship. He never chased her or put the moves on her. He was the victim here but since he's a male, it's not seen the same way.
Many psychologists will argue that since the female is the married one and not AM32 then there is something faltering in her marriage. AM32 is just an innocent pawn. We can all agree that if not him then someone else will fit the bill. He didn't necessarily come across as a pimp, player or Romeo. He's just there for the ride providing some sort of service or comfort to this woman who may have used sex as a way to buy herself a friend or companion of sorts. Given the same set of circumstances, I can't honestly say that I'd refuse her advances either. I haven't even mentioned the fact that being an Asian male in this cruel society can takes its toll. Maybe he had difficulty coming to terms with all of the castration, rejection and humiliation from all females; dished out by the cards that we're unfairly dealt. The image of the oppressor loomed brightly and taking his woman was just too overwhelming a temptation to resist. AM32 had struck a blow for the brotherhood with each volatile thrust. As he states " The sex is sweet and satisfying". Sweet is the key word.
Asian Brother
Friday, September 06, 2002 at 13:55:33 (PDT)
[64.12.97.7]
NEWEST COMMENTS |
EARLIER COMMENTS
|