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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
Relations between Asian and Non-Asian Women
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
veryone has an opinion on how Asian women are perceived by men. Reflecting those stereotypes across the gender line, we might assume that non-Asian women would see Asian women either as sexual threats (the exotic tempresses/sexual predators stereotype) or objects of pity and condescension (the passive victims of sexist cultures stereotype). Or, inside the halls of academe and of corporate America, perhaps as superhuman competitors for grades and promotions (the grinds with no lives stereotype).
Friend or foe?
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In actual social encounters such preconceptions translate into a plethora of mostly subtle but detectible responses -- hostility, wariness or exaggerated solicitude. In extended dealings these attitudes might subject Asian women to excessive amounts of malicious gossip, campaigns of isolation, or an effort at taking under the wing or even outright domination.
These types of negative interactions are common enough that, in an effort to neutralize them, Asian American women seem to have evolved distinctive personal styles. Many AAF make a point of being unusually aggressive and outspoken in social interactions. Others flaunt their educational or economic status. Still others take a take-no-prisoners tack and play the ultra-feminine siren capable of punishing rival females by turning their mates into yo-yos. Some manage to adopt all these tactics and become alpha females against whom resistance is futile.
But of course not all interactions between Asian American women and non-Asian women are of the arms-length variety. At times these women also do relate to one another as best friends, sisters-, daughters- and mothers-in-law, collaborators, teachers, doctors, students, attorneys, fellow soccer moms. Each such relationship introduces aspects of Asian women that defy easy stereotypes but may nevertheless reveal the peculiar role they seem forced to accept in American society.
Not that all non-Asian women start with a negative impression of Asian women. We kick off the reader comments with a post from a woman with good reason to want to see warm relatioins between AF and non-Asian females.
We invite women of all perspectives to air their perceptions, concerns and observations on relations between Asian and non-Asian women.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Actually with a few exception the asian women whom I have come in contact with have been very friendly towards me.
I've have yet to endure very little of the uppidity attitude that so many have spoken of, but living in California, the asian women here are more diversed and open-minded when it comes to interacting with women of different ethnic backgrounds.
The women here (not saying that they aren't else where) are strong, intelligent, friendly and very proud women, but they respect the people that they meet.
In truth, most whom I have befriended are actually quite more comfortable in the presence of non-asians than they would be with asians. Why that is? I can't say. Maybe someone can shed some light on that more so that I too may understand it.
Russell's Sweet Delight
dkjfam4ever@aol.com
Friday, August 16, 2002 at 16:25:50 (PDT)
My Prediction:
White women are not very different either in their attitude towards women of color. Many white women are more racist than white men! Good to see that you are getting a taste of your own medicine!
African American Female
Friday, August 16, 2002 at 14:53:07 (PDT)
I am a Latino woman. My finding is that Asian women are so concerned about pleasing Asian men that they tend to ignore and compete with other minority women and some white women (if those white women will stand between them and white men.) This is my observation.
Tia
Friday, August 16, 2002 at 13:19:27 (PDT)
Don't befriend us then, "my prediction".
That saves one less headache for both parties.
I'm sorry to hear that this has been the case for you, Anon. I would disagree with you however on the education factor. Educated women tend to be more open, not less.
In short, I have found women of color to be able to understand one another more.
There does seem to be tension between our group and Whites.
I think it may be because some (not all) WFs feel threatened when they see any woman of color rise to the top.
My Opinion
Friday, August 16, 2002 at 12:57:24 (PDT)
I can predict already that MLK and Asian Dominatrix will be on here claiming to be the "Alpha Female" and that white women are just jealous of them. Not true. Sorry but I think most Asian women are just snobby and I have no desire to befriend them.
my prediction
Friday, August 16, 2002 at 11:53:55 (PDT)
I am an African American Female who has limited interaction with Asian females, but what I have gathered from military and civilian life is that the ones that may be less educated are often more prone to solicit friendships. This is especially true of East Asians and Philipinos. I have met some friendly Chinese women, one was born in Hong Kong and the other lived in the Provinces, I am not sure. They were quite educated and receptive.
Otherwise, I have usually found them to be condescending and disdainful, as they seemed to prefer, overwhelmingly, to socialize with Whites, other Asians and Hispanics. I was disappointed and had no choice but to believe that all Asians really must think that African Americans are inferior and not worth their time and interest.
That has been my experience. Very disappointing…
Anon
Friday, August 16, 2002 at 11:51:52 (PDT)
[The following was posted to suggest the topic of this Issues page. --Ed]
Hi,
I would like to suggest a poll on
Asian American Females and Non Asian Females.
I have read alot of the posts. I am a latina engaged to an Asian Man. We have a deep mutual respect and uderstanding for each other and our cultures. I have always gotten along very well with Asian Females. I think there are some wonderful, and incredible ones in this world. My future mother inlaw is an incredibly beautiful,intelligent Asian woman. And my 2 aunts by marriage are Asian women in my family, and I love them very much. I grew up with them from early childhood.
I see alot of friction in between the Asian Females and White Females on some of the polls. I haven't really seen any from the latinas and black women. But I do know there is a tension between the Latinas and Black Females.
I think it would be so cool to have a poll for Asian Females and non asian women to talk things out with each other. I think it could break down some of the barriers. This anger could be due to a lack of understanding and communication between cultures. It would be a great idea to have a poll where we can discuss our feelings towards each other. I have found that I do have difficulties with Black Females that don't like light skinned Latinas. And when they see me with my Asian fiancee, they get really rude with me at times. On a poll where we could all talk it out, it would be so cool. What do you all think?
Valentina Estrada
Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 03:10:07 (PDT)
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