|
|
|
|
|
GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
Relations between Asian and Non-Asian Women
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
veryone has an opinion on how Asian women are perceived by men. Reflecting those stereotypes across the gender line, we might assume that non-Asian women would see Asian women either as sexual threats (the exotic tempresses/sexual predators stereotype) or objects of pity and condescension (the passive victims of sexist cultures stereotype). Or, inside the halls of academe and of corporate America, perhaps as superhuman competitors for grades and promotions (the grinds with no lives stereotype).
Friend or foe?
|
In actual social encounters such preconceptions translate into a plethora of mostly subtle but detectible responses -- hostility, wariness or exaggerated solicitude. In extended dealings these attitudes might subject Asian women to excessive amounts of malicious gossip, campaigns of isolation, or an effort at taking under the wing or even outright domination.
These types of negative interactions are common enough that, in an effort to neutralize them, Asian American women seem to have evolved distinctive personal styles. Many AAF make a point of being unusually aggressive and outspoken in social interactions. Others flaunt their educational or economic status. Still others take a take-no-prisoners tack and play the ultra-feminine siren capable of punishing rival females by turning their mates into yo-yos. Some manage to adopt all these tactics and become alpha females against whom resistance is futile.
But of course not all interactions between Asian American women and non-Asian women are of the arms-length variety. At times these women also do relate to one another as best friends, sisters-, daughters- and mothers-in-law, collaborators, teachers, doctors, students, attorneys, fellow soccer moms. Each such relationship introduces aspects of Asian women that defy easy stereotypes but may nevertheless reveal the peculiar role they seem forced to accept in American society.
Not that all non-Asian women start with a negative impression of Asian women. We kick off the reader comments with a post from a woman with good reason to want to see warm relatioins between AF and non-Asian females.
We invite women of all perspectives to air their perceptions, concerns and observations on relations between Asian and non-Asian women.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
CONTACT US
|
ADVERTISING INFO
© 1996-2013 Asian Media Group Inc
No part of the contents of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission.
|
|
|
|
WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
To MLK:
Why do you say that Confucius does not allow AFs to co-mingle will with WFs?
What problems are there with it?
I am just curious, so thank you for your reply.
Philly Girl
Monday, August 19, 2002 at 09:51:44 (PDT)
I am a Caucasian woman and I have close friends of every race.
However, growing up was a different.
I remember trying to make friends with some Korean students who were new to the school and getting the cold shoulder. In fact they pretty much segregated themselves and subsequently were made fun of by the black and white students.
That was back in the 80s.
Perhaps these students shyness was mistaken for snobbery?
Or was it actually dislike for the non-Korean students?
I have always wondered about that.
What do you think?
Philly Girl
Monday, August 19, 2002 at 09:44:01 (PDT)
[As we've made clear, this page is for women only. We have omitted numerous posts by men. --Ed]
Valentina Estrada...
I'm just curious...why do you think black females would care if you are w/an Asian man? You said they are rude to you when they see you w/your fiancee? I am mixed w/black, Irish and Native American and I have many Latina friends. I have never had a problem w/women of other races and you commented that you "know" Latinas and black women have problems. Where do you live? I grew up in the midwest and had many Latina friends and dated many Latinos. I now live in LA and here, too, most of my female friends are Latina. While I have dated Latinos here as well, my current boyfriend is Chinese and I don't notice anyone being rude to us. If anything, we notice more smiles from people. I don't know...maybe b/c we're always smiling b/c we are very happy! :-) Perhaps when you come across black females you already are expecting something negative so you may not realize it but you are giving off that vibe...perhaps already looking at them defensively or something. That could be the problem. Try smiling at them and you may find that they will smile back!! If that's not it, I don't know what else it could be unless you live in an area that has a lot of prejudice??
CaliGirl
Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 21:55:39 (PDT)
It's stupid to assume that women of a certain race all act the same. That's common knowledge. I have been told before that my many insecurities and shyness makes me seem snobby to other people. I am actually quite the opposite. I try to act more self-assured in hopes that I won't come off as being "stuck up". As an Asian female, I just hope that anyone who meets me and sees my shyness as snobiness won't associate that as a characteristic for all Asian females. Women of all races should be connecting with each other instead of going against each other.
Leila
Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 18:41:08 (PDT)
Don't know if I belong on this sounding board at all because there seems to be no Asian Women here other than me (and that's how it normally is in the world outside of Goldsea, one Asian woman in a sea of non-Asian faces). It's a lonely place to be. Nevertheless, I will share my Asian viewpoint since there seems to be none here at this time.
Most of my childhood female friends are non-Asian because I lived in a non-Asian area of the US in my childhood and adolescent years. Growing up, my social skills and interactions with the non-Asian was all that I knew how to do. Once I began living on my own, I started to actively seek out the Asian group to fill in the missing gaps of my social skills.
Now, most of my new-found friends are Asians although I still have White friends. Neither is better or worse than the other. They are just different and think very differently, and what offends one group has no impact on the other. Conversely, what is positive for one group may have negative connotations for the other.
This is because the two groups (WF & AF) have such a large cultural gap that there is major culture shock when the two groups meet at the fringes. Usually, there is little conflict because of us AFs. It's us Asians who must adapt ourselves to the western ideals because the disparity of numbers between the two groups is just too large (small AF population, large WF population). The danger is that we lose our sense of identity when we do that on a daily basis, and therefore, must re-immerse ourselves within our cultures again just to reestablish our identities.
I just walk a fine line and try to remember which group I'm with when I'm in a social situation. Of course, on Goldsea, this is impossible, since all groups view the same pages. So, to clarify certain events that have transpired in recent days, usually, an AF who views the world through Asian eyes will seem strange, even hostile, to the non-Asians, whereas if she presents herself in a very westernized way, she usually fits in quite well.
Confucius does not allow for AFs to co-mingle well with WFs. Yet, one cannot be fully Asian if one does not uphold Asian values. Hence the dilema for AAs that have cropped up throughout the ages.
MLK
Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 13:14:18 (PDT)
This article makes a lot of assumptions. What proof is there that many Asian women purposefully act aggressive, flaunt their economic and educational status, play the siren, or become the alpha females? NONE. Women of all races show off their money, act aggressive, and flirt with men. It is not something that is unique to Asian women. To say so would be to make a stereotype. Where is the proof that shows that they do it in reaction to negativity from females of other races? To even assume that females of other races are hostile to Asian women is to make another stereotype. What is the peculiar role that Asian women seem forced to accept? Are we actually forced to do anything?
baybee510
Saturday, August 17, 2002 at 23:55:27 (PDT)
I'm a Black female and I've never had any problems with Asian women. I find the ones I've come in contact with to be friendly and outgoing. I wouldn't go so far as to generalize and say that ALL Asian females are the same, but I know that I personally do not have any issues with them, or any particular group of women for that matter. If I do have issues with any group of women, it is based on their personality and not their race.
Ms. J
Saturday, August 17, 2002 at 19:46:13 (PDT)
NEWEST COMMENTS |
EARLIER COMMENTS
|