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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
Relations between Asian and Non-Asian Women
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
veryone has an opinion on how Asian women are perceived by men. Reflecting those stereotypes across the gender line, we might assume that non-Asian women would see Asian women either as sexual threats (the exotic tempresses/sexual predators stereotype) or objects of pity and condescension (the passive victims of sexist cultures stereotype). Or, inside the halls of academe and of corporate America, perhaps as superhuman competitors for grades and promotions (the grinds with no lives stereotype).
Friend or foe?
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In actual social encounters such preconceptions translate into a plethora of mostly subtle but detectible responses -- hostility, wariness or exaggerated solicitude. In extended dealings these attitudes might subject Asian women to excessive amounts of malicious gossip, campaigns of isolation, or an effort at taking under the wing or even outright domination.
These types of negative interactions are common enough that, in an effort to neutralize them, Asian American women seem to have evolved distinctive personal styles. Many AAF make a point of being unusually aggressive and outspoken in social interactions. Others flaunt their educational or economic status. Still others take a take-no-prisoners tack and play the ultra-feminine siren capable of punishing rival females by turning their mates into yo-yos. Some manage to adopt all these tactics and become alpha females against whom resistance is futile.
But of course not all interactions between Asian American women and non-Asian women are of the arms-length variety. At times these women also do relate to one another as best friends, sisters-, daughters- and mothers-in-law, collaborators, teachers, doctors, students, attorneys, fellow soccer moms. Each such relationship introduces aspects of Asian women that defy easy stereotypes but may nevertheless reveal the peculiar role they seem forced to accept in American society.
Not that all non-Asian women start with a negative impression of Asian women. We kick off the reader comments with a post from a woman with good reason to want to see warm relatioins between AF and non-Asian females.
We invite women of all perspectives to air their perceptions, concerns and observations on relations between Asian and non-Asian women.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
There is definitely a lot of hostility towards WFs from AFs, look at Asian Dominatrix's postings. Or read many of the posts on here, where AFs claim their genetic superiority over WFs, or put down IRs. What do you have against us?
wondering wf
Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 07:24:23 (PDT)
People like Northwest Girl are hilarious. They go to other pages and bitch about how they're treated, then come here and try to act like Asian women don't have issues with stereotypes. I seem to recall something about how Asian wives are mistreated or something you wrote to that effect. You aren't going to be convince anyone by burying your head in the sand, dearie. Hypocrisy shows that you are afraid to face your fears.
I know that I tend to act more assertive than I might otherwise want to because these white and black women see me as some little submissive geisha type. I also don't wear some of the more feminine and sexy clothes that I have when I know I will be coming into contact with mostly non-Asians. With Asians I don't have any problem with being sexy and feminine because I know they don't have weiid ideas in their minds.
I'd say we have just as many issues as Asian men when it comes to people's perceptions.
Southeast Girl
Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 06:52:50 (PDT)
Asian woman and woman of other races get along pretty well (me and others I guess)! Black people in night clubs are great too, friendly :)
PeAcE!
Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 03:53:32 (PDT)
Probably the biggest problem I have with non-Asian women are their cultural assumptions. Like I am subservient to my husband, or is a good cook, that I have a huge family who are all itching to migrate to a Western country. These are also assumptions made by Western men I might add. I too must have my own assumptions of non-Asian women which must irritate. But other than that, people are just people once you navigate the cultural barrier.
JustaGirl
Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 01:33:08 (PDT)
WF, My Predictions take away all the racist comments that you throw out to cover up, you both are just insecure. People with a good self-esteem don't need to put down others to feel better. If you got so much time on your hands, go do something useful. Volunteer somewhere and make yourself useful. You'll feel much better than putting down others. Or better yet, get up and excercise. Turn the fat into muscles. Its better than whining all day and getting jealous at other people. Bottom line, don't just sit and grow bitter and envious of other people, make yourself more useful.
People tend to separate into racially/culturally distinct groups because they find a similarity within those groups. Its no different than athletes hanging out with fellow athletes and musicians hanging out with fellow musicians at school. People with similarities bond.
In a society that's dominated by people of other races, Asian women don't always find similarities with other people easily so its easier for us to relate to someone of our own race to be certain that we share a similarity. For those that have trouble socializing with Asian women, try talking to us first because many times we feel awkward starting the conversation. I Also know that there are many Asian women who aren't shy. Just like there are shy and outspoken people in every race.
Aside from the shyness factor, people have to accept that you can't be friends with everyone. Sometimes the chemistry just doesn't bond. In this case you can't force a friendship.
The public sterotype mentioned in this article towards Asian American females is biased. Like all women, we are diverse people. The public tends to categorize AFs as one unit doing one type of thing and possessing one type of personality. If one gets to know us better, he/she'll find out that we share similarities with women of any other race.
AF
mint_puff@hotmail.com
Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 21:35:36 (PDT)
To "WF"-
And only people who are insecure need to generalize a group of people (like Asian women) in such a negative way- like saying they are "so snobby."
curious wf
Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 21:18:23 (PDT)
I forgot to mention in my previous post that I have been snubbed by other Asian women myself! (And I'm Asian.) I truly believe that when someone is snubbed, there are sometimes reasons other than race involved.
Northwest Girl
Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 18:21:47 (PDT)
"I have been told before that my many insecurities and shyness makes me seem snobby to other people."
Ah-ha! Now we finally have the answer to why Asian women are so snobby. They're just insecure. People with a good sense of self-esteem don't feel the need to be snobby.
WF
Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 06:06:47 (PDT)
"What proof is there that many Asian women purposefully act aggressive, flaunt their economic and educational status, play the siren, or become the alpha females? NONE." --baybee510
"It's stupid to assume that women of a certain race all act the same." -- Leila
I'm with you, ladies. To assign a certain behavior or attitude to a whole race of people is called STEREOTYPING. I believe that people bond more through factors such as common interests, education level or economic level than they do through race.
African American Female, I'm sorry that your interactions with Asian Americans have been bad ones, but please don't stereotype the entire group as snobs -- You just had the misfortune to come in contact with the ignorant or uncultured ones. You may live in a area in which Asian American women are of a certain mindset, but remember that the world is a big place and there are other areas in which these people would not fit in. If you are being snubbed, remember that you are being snubbed by a person and not by that person's whole race.
I grew up in a very sheltered Asian family in which both whites AND blacks were seen as uneducated and violent. Naturally, we didn't actually know any whites or blacks, but we saw a lot of poor military families and violent TV shows and that is where we got our information. As I got older and began to travel more and meet more people, I saw how limiting that mindset was and began to make friends from all backgrounds. There were many people from other races that snubbed me, but I found more people who were open and receptive and warm.
I consider my life to be richer and more interesting with a diverse group of friends.
Northwest Girl
Monday, August 19, 2002 at 23:07:10 (PDT)
They were most likely shy, Philly Girl.
MLK: I am Asian and I posted earlier so you're not alone. :)
My Opinion
Monday, August 19, 2002 at 22:35:51 (PDT)
----------Perhaps these students shyness was mistaken for snobbery?
Or was it actually dislike for the non-Korean students?
I have always wondered about that.
What do you think?
---Philly Girl
I used to make fun of Koreans and Chinese because I noticed how they always segregated themselves from everyone else. Italians, Blacks, Whites, Greeks, Spanish all sat together normally but the Asians in the school were totally adversed to us. I took it as offense when I shouldnt have. the running stereotype is how the Asian students are suppossed to be extremely studious less they be beaten by parents. Frankly, I dont remember where I got that idea from but I know it was from someone else.
Pharoah
Monday, August 19, 2002 at 19:31:36 (PDT)
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