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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
Relations between Asian and Non-Asian Women
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
veryone has an opinion on how Asian women are perceived by men. Reflecting those stereotypes across the gender line, we might assume that non-Asian women would see Asian women either as sexual threats (the exotic temptresses/sexual predators stereotype) or objects of pity and condescension (the passive victims of sexist cultures stereotype). Or, inside the halls of academe and of corporate America, perhaps as superhuman competitors for grades and promotions (the grinds-with-no-lives stereotype).
Friend or foe?
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In actual social encounters such preconceptions translate into a plethora of mostly subtle but detectible responses -- hostility, wariness or exaggerated solicitude. In extended dealings these attitudes might subject Asian women to excessive amounts of malicious gossip, campaigns of isolation, or an effort at taking under the wing or even outright domination.
These types of negative interactions are common enough that, in an effort to neutralize them, Asian American women seem to have evolved distinctive personal styles. Many AAF make a point of being unusually aggressive and outspoken in social interactions. Others flaunt their educational or economic status. Still others take a take-no-prisoners tack and play the ultra-feminine siren capable of punishing rival females by turning their mates into yo-yos. Some manage to adopt all these tactics and become alpha females against whom resistance is futile.
But of course not all interactions between Asian American women and non-Asian women are of the arms-length variety. At times these women also do relate to one another as best friends, sisters-, daughters- and mothers-in-law, collaborators, teachers, doctors, students, attorneys, fellow soccer moms. Each such relationship introduces aspects of Asian women that defy easy stereotypes but may nevertheless reveal the peculiar role they seem forced to accept in American society.
Not that all non-Asian women start with a negative impression of Asian women. We kick off the reader comments with a post from a woman with good reason to want to see warm relatioins between AF and non-Asian females.
We invite women of all perspectives to air their perceptions, concerns and observations on relations between Asian and non-Asian women.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
AF(21) and Victoria in Missouri,
I know. I have bad experiences from caucasian women. I have gone through alot of trouble from them at jobs, and in stores. If they are with their husbands and boyfriends or a group of them together. They make nasty sneaky remarks. They assume I can't speak any english and can't hear what they say. I speak and understand very good english. I also understand racial epitephs clear too. I feel better being around other asian women. Many caucasian women act like they really are jealous of us in many way. If we do not go out of our way to be kiss:ass to them we are seen as not friendly. I have not experienced these from women of color.They know what I am talking about.
CaliGirl,
I think caucasian females are always too concerned about if people accept them. They refuse to accept other people alot. I think they feel that someone not caucasian should feel privelege to be in their presence.
cantonese flower
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 07:20:44 (PDT)
[205.188.208.106]
AF(21)
Not all white female are bad. I understand that you have experience racial prejudice. I have also experienced it quite a bit too. I am originally from india and I spent alot of time in tennessee. I have a variety of friends, which includes some white females. I understand that you feel that they maybe cannot completely relate to the experiences that you have gone through. Most of my friends are in interracial relationship. They may not have experienced certain things before being with a man who is different than them. But being in an interracial relationship, and making close friends with people of different races can change a person'a perspective on life. I will give you this one example: One of my friends M is engaged to be married to an asian man. There are alot of people that go out of their way to make her feel as if she doesn't belong. Like she is some social misfit. She said that before she met him, she had a little trouble with the fitting in thing because she was a grundger all through highschool, and then turned goth in college. So now she is seen as a complete outsider with her current fiancee. I am not trying to get you to change your view. I understand if this is just how you feel, and choose to live your life. I am only trying to let you know that not all white women are bad, thats all. Some are very sweet people.
(Sita)
Hindi Girl
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 02:49:44 (PDT)
[205.188.208.106]
To Victoria in Missouri
I think a lot of women of all races can be threatened by beautiful women of any races. Please don't just target one specific race. Also I really don't think Caucasian women as a whole are threatened by diminutive Asian women when the most common image of beautiful women promoted are usually tall, shapely and blonde. I have a lot of gorgeous Caucasion gfs and I can tell you they are not at all intimidated by Asian women who have Caucasion bfs. They think it's really cool. On the hand, I have quite a few Asian gfs who want to be seen as tall and blonde by wearing extremely high heels and bleaching their hair to meet the idealised image of beauty. I hope you are not one of those :P
Justagirl
Wednesday, September 11, 2002 at 19:30:41 (PDT)
[210.10.109.82]
Hey AF(21) I am just telling you my personal experiences. I did not start out to deliberately "pick on" any type of Asian people. It also seems I could do the same with almost anyone. The people in the New England area are hard to get to know, the people from Texas are easy to get to know. This has been my experience. And you should talk !!! You have clumped all white women together. If I wanted to get to know you, and possibly be friends you, would turn up your nose and say get lost !! I am saying this because of your post ....not because I am trying to "start something" so am I right or wrong??? Would you be my friend?
To Victoria in Missouri :
How do you know they are threatened by you? How do your husbands female relatives treat you? I don't know why they should hate you for being short? Most women, I think, want to be taller, including me. I am only 5 foot 2. Maybe it is you who has an attitude or maybe you are just paranoid?
I am sorry if my post offended anyone. I would gladly be friends with any Asian woman who wanted to be friends with me. I would gladly be friends with anyone !
Philly Girl
Wednesday, September 11, 2002 at 19:27:21 (PDT)
[152.163.189.205]
To That's cool and AF (21):
I totally feel the same. I am pretty new to this forum, but it is very interesting. I live in Georgia, so I do have a lot of white friends, but real true friends are my Asian American friends. It is hard in the south because it is still very segregated. I don't get along with FOB since I am "Americanized." When I lived in Florida for a year, it was great there because minorities mingle with each others. Maybe oneday I will make my way out to California, for I visited Cali. a few years ago and it was great. Harmonizing!
proud aa woman
Wednesday, September 11, 2002 at 14:06:42 (PDT)
[205.160.52.30]
"They are absolutely threatened because of the way I look. It has been my experience that this specific race of women are intimidated by our intelligence, beauty and beautiful, diminutive frames.
I'm disgusted and fed up with their elementary demeanor -- GROW UP."
Maybe YOU need to grow up. Maybe you're just a little to full of yourself, and women are put off by your snobbiness and not by your looks. Making a blanket statement about "this specific race of women" is guess what- RACIST. I can't imagine why anyone would want to be friends with you anyway. I'm not intimidated by any woman, and no, not all Asian women are beautiful and intelligent and I couldn't care less about your "diminutive frames". Most Asian women are just average, like any other women. So I have a normal woman's body, I'm proud of that, my boyfriend likes my curves.
Grow up honey and don't get all high on yourself because white women don't like you.
WF
Wednesday, September 11, 2002 at 09:25:21 (PDT)
[209.110.34.125]
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