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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
Relations between Asian and Non-Asian Women
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
veryone has an opinion on how Asian women are perceived by men. Reflecting those stereotypes across the gender line, we might assume that non-Asian women would see Asian women either as sexual threats (the exotic temptresses/sexual predators stereotype) or objects of pity and condescension (the passive victims of sexist cultures stereotype). Or, inside the halls of academe and of corporate America, perhaps as superhuman competitors for grades and promotions (the grinds-with-no-lives stereotype).
Friend or foe?
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In actual social encounters such preconceptions translate into a plethora of mostly subtle but detectible responses -- hostility, wariness or exaggerated solicitude. In extended dealings these attitudes might subject Asian women to excessive amounts of malicious gossip, campaigns of isolation, or an effort at taking under the wing or even outright domination.
These types of negative interactions are common enough that, in an effort to neutralize them, Asian American women seem to have evolved distinctive personal styles. Many AAF make a point of being unusually aggressive and outspoken in social interactions. Others flaunt their educational or economic status. Still others take a take-no-prisoners tack and play the ultra-feminine siren capable of punishing rival females by turning their mates into yo-yos. Some manage to adopt all these tactics and become alpha females against whom resistance is futile.
But of course not all interactions between Asian American women and non-Asian women are of the arms-length variety. At times these women also do relate to one another as best friends, sisters-, daughters- and mothers-in-law, collaborators, teachers, doctors, students, attorneys, fellow soccer moms. Each such relationship introduces aspects of Asian women that defy easy stereotypes but may nevertheless reveal the peculiar role they seem forced to accept in American society.
Not that all non-Asian women start with a negative impression of Asian women. We kick off the reader comments with a post from a woman with good reason to want to see warm relatioins between AF and non-Asian females.
We invite women of all perspectives to air their perceptions, concerns and observations on relations between Asian and non-Asian women.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
I think asian women in general have a more youthful, fresh, feminine look with delicate features and smoth and fine skin. Probably that's why quite a few wfs i know feel intimidated with afs. Af tend to be less likely to get fat, and age way better. But i’m sure not all wfs are like that. Actuallly i think the prblem of women being intimidated by another woman has more to do w/ the individual than to do w/ race.
A lot of wfs are cool but thing is most of my close friends are non white. I get to be friends w/ white, but it’s never been a close relationship. Actually i myself don’t know why either…
justanother AF
Friday, September 13, 2002 at 04:45:21 (PDT)
[203.162.133.193]
Victoria in Missouri:
OMG!! I just saw your post and at first I was a little shocked but then again, I guess I shouldn't be. Once again you have proven the point that has been spread all across various boards on this site...that it seems like AFs who date and marry WMs are cocky and arrogant and think they are simply the best thing since sliced bread since they have their WM "trophy". You simply HAD to make a point of the fact that you are married to a WM...why does that not surprise me?? Hmmm... I don't know. Then you wonder why WFs don't like you and why AFs and AMs think you are a sellout! First of all, your so called "beautiful, diminutive frame" is probably flat all over and he just likes someone built like a kid. This seems to be typical of the AF/WM couples I've seen anyways. I agree w/WF...you are simply stuck on yourself and your attitude comes off when people meet you or cross your path and THAT'S probably the real reason people don't like you. I've never been jealous of ANY AF so I think you need to re-evaluate your thinking, for real!!
What a Joke!!
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 22:04:19 (PDT)
[63.233.27.82]
"I have a lot of gorgeous Caucasion gfs and I can tell you they are not at all intimidated by Asian women who have Caucasion bfs. They think it's really cool."
If the BFs were ugly or losers of course, that wouldn't be a great loss,would it?
"On the hand, I have quite a few Asian gfs who want to be seen as tall and blonde by wearing extremely high heels and bleaching their hair to meet the idealised image of beauty. I hope you are not one of those :P
Justagirl"
All females wear high heels, even tall ones who shouldn't and don't forget feet binding. A common look that heels projects is a sexy shapely appearance defining the calves. Bleaching hair these days is a common fashion trend. Even Britney Spears does it, Eminem(even tho he's already blond) and don't forget cisco(Thong Song).
See it all the Time
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 20:12:12 (PDT)
[152.163.188.71]
WF - You have a derogatory, nasty attitude toward Victoria in MO. She is obviously not the only AAF who has had these experiences. You need to alter your perspective. Don't sit there and type how comfortable you are in your probable obese state and say you're "proud." I'm mature enough of a woman to admit that I admire and am "jealous" when I see an attractive woman. If one could choose to be attractive or unattractive, you can BET the majority of the world would choose to be beautiful.
Just Accept It
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 15:46:59 (PDT)
[152.163.189.205]
To Justagirl and WF: I did not "target" WF, I merely expressed my experiences with them. I readily acknowledge that there are beautiful women of all races, as evidenced by the many ethnic models. I do not have an "attitude" or "issues" with women. Some women are insecure, however, have gone through a divorce or difficult times, etc. which makes them more vulnerable and they DO take out their derogatory feelings on attractive women in general. As for being racist, I find that comment amusing; that I am not.
MO
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 15:39:12 (PDT)
[152.163.189.205]
Generally, in my experience, white women tend to be more racist than white men. I have had a lot of interesting experiences at the University of Alabama last year. We had all these white women (from sororities) accuse blacks and other minorities of wanting their own cultural centers. However, when I asked them about Melody Twilley, a black coed who was rejected for membership in several white sororities their faces became small. Did it ever occur to them that minorities and minority women demand their own organizations and cultural centers because they are setting a bad example by segregating themselves in white sororities? I would definitely like to hear other Asian and White women's views on this issue.
Thai Girl
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 11:53:44 (PDT)
[138.220.201.176]
My experience with white women really varies depending on the area of the country. Here in Vermont, white women do not give me any hassles. They either try to be friends or go about their business. But, my experience in Jefferson County, CO was a little different. I got a lot of dirty looks. If eyes could burn you down, white women in that county could burn you alive. All I saw was hatred in their eyes. It began when I boarded the RTD light rail from downtown Denver to Littleton Downtown. In general, I could sense a great deal of hostility from white folks and white women in places such as Evergreen, Conifer and Golden, CO. There was a lot of hostility in Littleton too. Seemed like they are not very fond of those they consider "foreign". They were also pretty stuck up.
VFemale
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 11:49:31 (PDT)
[138.220.201.176]
WF,
You are typical. Shallow and looking at life through a tunnel vision. The only thing WFs' like you can ever do is bring up the same old examples over and over again about "You asians dye your hair, and want blonde hair and blue eyes". It gets tired after awhile. And,"You AFs' are such snobs".
No. we are not snobs just for not wanting WFs' as friends.
"WF's don't like you"- WHO CARES? DO you think someone really cares that YOU don't like them? Its not a big deal. I am sure she could care less about you, your friendship or the ground you walk on.
Hindi Girl,
I am glad that you realize that you can't change my mind. Those are your personal experiences. Good for you. On the other hand, I dont share the same views as you do at all. I am comfortable being around who I want to be around. I could care less who says I am politcally incorrect. I live the way I want.
PhillyGirl,
Of course what you said was offensive. The funny and ironic thing about it? You probably don't even see how what you said is offensive.
AF(21)
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 09:37:49 (PDT)
[205.188.208.106]
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