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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
Relations between Asian and Non-Asian Women
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
veryone has an opinion on how Asian women are perceived by men. Reflecting those stereotypes across the gender line, we might assume that non-Asian women would see Asian women either as sexual threats (the exotic temptresses/sexual predators stereotype) or objects of pity and condescension (the passive victims of sexist cultures stereotype). Or, inside the halls of academe and of corporate America, perhaps as superhuman competitors for grades and promotions (the grinds-with-no-lives stereotype).
Friend or foe?
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In actual social encounters such preconceptions translate into a plethora of mostly subtle but detectible responses -- hostility, wariness or exaggerated solicitude. In extended dealings these attitudes might subject Asian women to excessive amounts of malicious gossip, campaigns of isolation, or an effort at taking under the wing or even outright domination.
These types of negative interactions are common enough that, in an effort to neutralize them, Asian American women seem to have evolved distinctive personal styles. Many AAF make a point of being unusually aggressive and outspoken in social interactions. Others flaunt their educational or economic status. Still others take a take-no-prisoners tack and play the ultra-feminine siren capable of punishing rival females by turning their mates into yo-yos. Some manage to adopt all these tactics and become alpha females against whom resistance is futile.
But of course not all interactions between Asian American women and non-Asian women are of the arms-length variety. At times these women also do relate to one another as best friends, sisters-, daughters- and mothers-in-law, collaborators, teachers, doctors, students, attorneys, fellow soccer moms. Each such relationship introduces aspects of Asian women that defy easy stereotypes but may nevertheless reveal the peculiar role they seem forced to accept in American society.
Not that all non-Asian women start with a negative impression of Asian women. We kick off the reader comments with a post from a woman with good reason to want to see warm relatioins between AF and non-Asian females.
We invite women of all perspectives to air their perceptions, concerns and observations on relations between Asian and non-Asian women.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
wf-tx wrote:
"It is no less important or difficult for an Asian, White, Hispanic, etc. "
Uh. Yes. there IS a difference, how could you say that there is not? Oh yeah, you are white. and in texas. "Minority" women have it different from white women in this country: point blank. I can understand that women must be able to identify with each other's struggles, but don't dismiss the differences between us. because there are. thanks.
ms. L
Wednesday, September 25, 2002 at 14:28:45 (PDT)
[155.38.50.114]
To Asian Woman:
A friend of mine (white) was very interested in a friend of my husband (Asian). We set them up together and it went well, but the Asian guy's family gave him and her so much grief that they had to break up.
There are people of every race who are anti-interracial. I wished that they could have overcome it, but it wasn't to be.
How did your interracial matchmaking go? Any success stories?
To Happy Clam:
Thank you ! and I wish good luck to you too!
We owe it to our children to make it a better world, no matter what. And love makes it all the much better.
Hayley
Wednesday, September 25, 2002 at 11:09:24 (PDT)
[205.188.209.82]
Hmmm, seems like everyone missed my point on the match making thing.
Indo-American seemed upset that some white females she knew always set her up with males from the South Asian area eg: Indians, Pakistanis etc. I was just trying to point out that these women had her best interests at heart. If she prefers white men she should just tell them. Some people do prefer their own race, and some are like me and are more open minded and if they fall in love with someone of a different race...so what!
Anyway, I would never set up one of my Asian (or African-Am, Hispanic) with a white man unless I knew for sure it would be okay with them. I would set them up with a man of their own race.
I also think it is nice that these women would be helping her out in the dating game anyway.
Indo-American, did you tell them that you prefer non-South Asian men?
Hayley
Wednesday, September 25, 2002 at 08:36:09 (PDT)
[152.163.189.205]
Hayley,
Although I have stopped in many times to read, it has been awhile since I have posted anywhere on Goldsea. When the issues discussed are predominantly about dating and so forth, I try to refrain from weighing in as a married woman who is TOTALLY out of the loop lol.
But this section struck me as interesting, and I have to say that the 3 or 4 posts of yours I have read struck me as very insightful and broadminded.
I am also a WF married to an AM with a child, and you could not be more correct about what that does to affect a person and their perceptions. ( I am somewhat paraphrasing here - forgive me ).
At any rate, enjoyed your view and your "female energy" encouragement~
Happy Clam
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 14:06:35 (PDT)
[12.217.192.139]
Hayley:
Actually, I have set up white women and for that matter all races of women to men from all races. In general, I find that white women are not very receptive, especially if the race of the man concerned is very different. One young woman I tried to set up with an Asian male basically said that her parents would have a heart attack if she married an Asian man, as her brother was married to an Asian woman. Actually, it sounded like that she herself was not very happy with her brother being married to an Asian, and she was not in talking terms with her sister in law, her little nephew and niece.
Asian Woman
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 12:32:40 (PDT)
[138.220.110.174]
"Also, If a European/Euro-American woman was living in India what kind of men would you match her up with? Indian men or European men?"
Actually you would fit very well in India and you have the typical Indian mindset. The only difference is that Indians go a step further and match couples based on caste.
Indian Girl Back Home
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 11:54:12 (PDT)
[138.220.110.174]
To Indo-American:
I don't like white women because of the ones I have met at work.
OOPs, I am white LOL. But it is true, I never got along with my supervisors at work. They were white women, I also had an African-Am supervisor who I locked horns with a few times. But I was friends with many co-workers (white, African-Am, Hispanic, Asian) The one thing we had in common, we hated the supervisors! LOL.
Also, If a European/Euro-American woman was living in India what kind of men would you match her up with? Indian men or European men?
Hayley
Monday, September 23, 2002 at 19:42:45 (PDT)
[64.12.97.14]
Insecurities have nothing to do with choosing your friends wisely. You pick your friends like you pick your fruit. Its not always whats on the outside. It really counts whats on the inside. If a white female is kool with me and I am kool with her, then its all good. If she steps to me with an attitude right off bat? Then hey, I'm gonna have one too. Thats how I am.
af-nyc
Monday, September 23, 2002 at 13:39:48 (PDT)
[152.163.189.205]
wf-tx,
Whatever
af-nyc
Monday, September 23, 2002 at 13:35:16 (PDT)
[152.163.189.205]
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