AM Seeking Out Non-Asian Women | Asian American Issues

AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated )

sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests. Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.
Hi Gail,

I agree with you about AA men starting to open up to the idea of dating non-AA women. I for one am a AA male, who's dated white girls and black girls; mostly white girls i have to say. But recently I was seening this black girl and she'd mentioned how she's always found AA men so attractive. I knew she was a bit insecure and unsure that as an AA male I would accept her. In any case we had a great time. She wasnt the 1st black girl i'd known romantically.

I have noticed that non-AA women when they are with me, often question my preference toward AA women. They just assume such I guess. I have to reassure them that women are women to me. I'm sure this will change in time as society becomes more accustomed to AA males with non-AA women.

The irony is this. Most people are on to the fact that AA women prefer white men over their own men. Yet most women believe that AA men would not date outside their own race. I hope this will change in time. I think AA men should date non-AA women wherever the opportunity prevails. I honestly think they will treat us better than AA women. Too many AA women take AA men for granted. I know that I have a better time with non-Asian women. It's very natural in our intimacies, whereas with AA women in the past, it seemed somewhat awkward...as i could sometimes sense their self-shame and self-hatred. They tend not to appreciate me as much as my White & Black girlfriends have.

In any case I consider myself very lucky to find all women attractive. I'm even more fotunate that women of all colors seem to find so attractive. Well, in any case, I'm quite open to the possibility of marrying a non-Asian girl. In fact given my past dating patterns, this is more likely to be the case, as that aspect of life quickly approaches.

I hope more AA men can be more open-minded.

Modern AA Male Perspective Saturday, December 22, 2001 at 09:50:28 (PST)

Hi, I must agree with whoyobe. I like men from all races. I find myself atracted to different races of men at diferent times in my life, depending where I am located now I live in a area where there are a lot of asian men. I was never attracted to chinese men untill I moved here to vancouver. I am a black female. I also find that asian men are learning to be more open qbout finding non-asian women desireable. If there kis a asian man aout there who would like to contact me, pleaase feel free to do so. I am a 37 and very adventerous
Gail howellgaild65@hotmail.com Monday, December 17, 2001 at 23:53:09 (PST)

Living in Reality:

You're a dumbass.
Whose reality are YOU living in girl?
You must be an angry Asian girl cause you sound like one!

Johnny Yune.....AAM Thursday, December 13, 2001 at 22:11:16 (PST)

Living in reality,

I don't know where you live, but the Asian women dating and marrying out is reaching epidemic proportions where I live. Too many of us Asian men were too focused on education and professional careers. We were dutiful and filial sons to satisfy our parents and community. Yes, many of us forsaked a love life early on. Yet, there are many of us young Asian men who have entered the dating game only to be ridiculed and shunned none more so than by our own women. At least now, the trend is increasing for non-AF to see the romantic desirabilities in AM. But, the AF, esp. those born and bred here will never see the AM as a "real man." The money, the sweet talk and the affection would not be enough to do it. If they are bent on selling out, they will do it by all means.

So, I had my share of all this emotional riff raff. I say "to hell with all this." I am just not going to put up with it. I am too old to be bitter and hating all my life. If the grass is greener on the other hill, I will get there, even if it means jumping over a huge fence.

There comes a point in life, where things will come to an appex and then slide. My pride was way up there once, but now I takes things as it is and enjoy my life whether I am with an AF or non-AF. Thing is, that it has always only been the non-AF who sees the beauty in me both inside and out. Surely, any man would only want a girl who desires him regardless of race and culture.

It is good you have pride. I once had pride. I still have pride, but my pride is a reality pride.

Take care.
ABC married to a non-AF for over 5 years and loving everday of it Thursday, December 13, 2001 at 21:35:59 (PST)

I really doubt some of these posts written by people are Asian Americans. If they are AA, they must either be sick in the mind or are trying to start a ruckus on the site. First off, AF/AM couples exceed A LOT over non-AF/AM or non-AM/AF. Got that? Second, I hardly ever see AM seek out non-AF. Why? Because they want to be with AF. Secondly, I rarely see AF actively go and seek out non-AM too. Why? Because they're also eyeing some Asian guy out there. Give this self-hating crap a break. It's disgusting and I seriously doubt any of you had any relationships with blacks, Arab, Hispanic, white women or men. Grow up and make some useful comments.
Living in Reality Wednesday, December 12, 2001 at 17:10:15 (PST)

sometimes, it has nothing to do with Asian women. Some say they do it to get back at white racism. Many say that it gives them some security in their life by being with a white girl and making Caucasoid looking babies with her. Whatever the case maybe, we Asian men do need to date interracially more often. It helps psychologically and makes us more well rounded and not deprived of anything.
asdf Monday, December 03, 2001 at 00:00:45 (PST)

Asian women are the LAST thing on my mind. I'm attractive and confident, so non-Asian women give me attention quite frequently. I mean, with all these pretty ladies around, how am I to resist? Impossible. I don't rule out Asian women b/c there are many cute AFs out there, but that doesn't mean that I can't have my cake and eat it too. There are some gorgeous non-Asians (white, hisapnic, blacks, mixed, whatever) out there, and I choose to take full advantage of the situation.
AA Go-Getter Thursday, November 22, 2001 at 00:23:30 (PST)

I'm 3rd generation Chinese-American, so this thought that one must marry within one's own race and culture does not resonate with me. I love Chinese and other Asian sisters, but I have been into contact with much women of all colors and cultures. We cannot deny that looks play a factor in whom we love. I have travelled a lot and grew up in a multicultural setting, and I cannot deny that I have this strong physical instinct and attraction towards Iranian, Arabic and women of the Soviet Caucasus region (ie Armenia, Georgia, Azerbaijan). They have very ravishing features, in particular the eyes and nose. I have been presented with many opportunities to date and even marry with them. So, I cannot lie to myself. I go for looks and certain peoples.
Can't help it Tuesday, November 13, 2001 at 00:00:19 (PST)

dear 10 moon cake,

I would rather be a hoover pro salad tosser any day.
at least I know i have the credentials to keep just about any man these days.
I mean look at the viagra sales...??
thats all men are worried about no matter the race,class,etc.
and that goes for these same race daters too.
erace racism,

whoyobe Tuesday, November 06, 2001 at 09:28:56 (PST)

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