AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated )

sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests. Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
     What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.
I can understand exactly what you're trying to say, even though I'm an AF I understand completely how you feel! If I were a guy, I wouldn't date AF either! I've seen so many Af with OLD ugly white guys and their attitude really sux. On some occassion when I walk past an AF/wm couple the Af clings onto the white guys arm and always give me that look , that smirk, smug look as if to say, hahaha I got myself a rich old white guy, look at you, you got nobody. This really piss me off. Firstly, why would I want to settle for less? They made it seemed as if the white man is such a catch. Another thing that really PEED me off is that asian women like this gives us all a bad name. It makes us seemed so easy.
Wm would come up to me and say," My ex girlfriend used to be Japanese or Flipino..etc.". YEAH?? AND..you have a fetish..big friggin deal.

ARGGHHH it really gets to me! Why can't some AF have higher standards! why do they have to date their grand dads???
Snookie emulets@hotmail.com    Monday, January 14, 2002 at 00:00:13 (PST)
I would never date an asian woman unless she was especially compatible with me (similar sense of humor, interests, temperment, etc.). Otherwise, no. They just don['t give me wood for some reason. And no, I'm not a self-hating Asian. I grew up around Asians, but caught the "white-bug" during college when I was dating.
God-DAMN!    Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 23:42:58 (PST)
For those of you guys who are complaining that Asian girls who date white guys and are doing so "just to get back at asian men, there are some truth to your complaints. It's your basic self-hatred pyschosis. They hate themselves because they are not white, so they date white men to make up for this lack of not feeling whole because they are asian and not white. And they resent asian men because although deep, deep down they would probably rather be with men of their kind and not be constantly questioned for being asian, they find asian men cannot give them this ease and this wholeness that whites seem to possess just because they comprise 80% of this country's population. Self-hatred works both ways for males and females and sometimes it works in very subtle ways. For example, like recently, I was having coffee with a group of Asians when two very average-looking white college girls in turtlenecks and jackets walked by. A couple of the guys turned and looked almost as if their heads and gaze were on automatic. They weren't lusting after the girls but their looks lingered as if they were wondering, "I wonder what's it's like..." And I think I saw what they saw when I followed their gaze, how some whites can walk around with so much ease and how some asians can feel like they never really belong in this country of USA.
Asian female    Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 20:46:45 (PST)
AM loves WFs

I agree with you 100%
AF who likes Asians and Latinos    Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 20:32:50 (PST)
OK, here's another AF perspective. Here's how I see the situation:

1. There are a certain number of AF's who are out-and-out sell-outs. The ones who think that their ticket to professional and social success is to have a WM at functions and what-not. To compound all of this, some of these AF's compete amongst one another: if she can have a whitey, why can't I?

Just remember, folks, not all AF's or even those AF's who date WM's are like that. Chances are, if you're like me, that you might have grown up in an all-white neighborhood and district and then chosen to pursue a career in the Western humanities (i.e., English), where you're not going to meet a whole lot of AM's. Or indeed, ethnic minority men, period.

BTW, re the issue of AF's and WM's trying to insult AM's on the street, I've seen my share of short, ugly AF's with tall, handsome WM's trying to compete with me, another AF. It's hysterical to watch the insecure AF clutch her 'man' when I walk by, at least half a foot taller, slimmer overall, and much better dressed. Her man instantly looks at me and midget looks at him anxiously. Like I'm really going to steal a bone(head) away from the (chihuahua) dog. Meow.

2. There may be AF's--particularly those without brothers--who may not have gotten along with their fathers or surrogate fathers. If they see their AM father holding them up to exacting standards in regard to school and dating, especially in contrast with the generally more relaxed attitudes of their white friends' parents, these AF's may grow to resent AM's all the more. These AF's fail to realise that one AM does not exemplify all AM's. But it's not an altogether inexcusable since this man is probably the most singularly important man in her life until her late teens.

3. Many of these AF's will either find WM's more attractive or make the excuse that they find them so. Even if that WM is short, bald, and ugly and a carbon copy of Danny Devito.

4. In reaction, AM's will naturally get annoyed. While some sell-out AM's will prefer WF's just like sell-out AF's who prefer WM's for social and professional prestige, sell-out AM's will subsequently bag on AF's--pointing out their supposed negative physical attributes like lack of curves, short legs, etc. even tho' there are many, many whites and blacks with the SAME attributes.

Here on Goldsea, I've noticed quite a few taller AM making the excuse that Asian women look short and childish. I live in Chicago and see a good portion of AF's over 5'6". With curves, no less. And BTW, if there are tall WM's--well over 6'--finding it perfectly acceptable to date short AF's (like the 5' dwarves I see), I don't see why AM's find it such a necessity to find a tall WF.

5. In return, AF's will resent AM's all the more for appearing to take the side of the white media and its depredation of Asian and other ethnic minority women. Hey, if WM or BM appreciate us (or pretend such), why wouldn't we gravitate to them?

This is the sad and sorry state of affairs. Unless there is more willingness to give each other a chance, the relationships between Asian men and women and indeed, all Asians, will deteriorate even further. This is the last thing we need in a society which already singles out Asians for constant vilification.
Asian Dominatrix    Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 19:30:55 (PST)
American born Asian Man, I agree with you completely. Most of the guys whining and moaning on this site probably have little or no game. It's pathetic that some Asian guys blame all their women problems on the media, the white man, Asian women, white women, black men, my cousin Jim, etc. Sometimes guys don't get the ladies because they're just plain losers. It's also sad and pathetic when I hear men say, "Why wouldn't a women find me attractive? I'm a professional, I make good money, I went to a good university!" Are you looking for a job or a relationship? In this day and age of equal opportunity, women do not need men to take care of them. Therefore, they don't place as great an emphasis on the man's job/career as they once did. Women want confident, fun men who can carry on a good conversation. These aren't skills you can earn graduate degrees in. Some of the whiners on this site should stop blaming everything and everybody for their problems, and start improving themselves.
RockHardAzn    Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 17:15:27 (PST)
The greatest feeling in the world is when you walk around the mall or school, or wherever with a fine ass white girl, and all the Asian fools be doggin' you like crazy! She doesn't even have to be your gf, just a friend or something. You know deep down inside, most Asian guys would love to have a white girl, but just don't know how to get one. How many Asian guys do you know who lust over Britney Spears or Deborah Norville? They all love the blondes. Personally, I'm equal opportunity. It's United Nations for me. =)
TSJ (Toi San Jai) Eric@KristinKreuk.net    Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 14:16:45 (PST)

NEWEST COMMENTS | EARLIER COMMENTS