AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated )

sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests. Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
     What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.
I recently got dumped by an Asian guy who had to choose between me and a white woman. I don't know if it was his preference or simply a fate-issue (he met her a few days before me....)

As we were getting to know each other, he told me that he has never dated an Asian woman before. Although I had hoped to be his first, I think he just went back to what he was comfortable with.

Although I've dated non-Asians, I prefer Asian men. I am American-born, but am in touch with my Chinese roots -- and I'm looking for a guy who is similar to me in this sense.

Has the dating scene in New York been depleted of favorable types Asian men?? If so, have they been snapped up by white women?? Should a professional, attractive Asian woman, like myself, deploy certain "tricks" to snag herself a decent Asian-American guy?
christina christina5683@hotmail.com    Friday, April 19, 2002 at 10:28:43 (PDT)
I haven't dated Asian men b/c I was raised in an extremely sexist traditional Chinese culture where Asian women were treated as inferior subjects. I remember my father giving me a curfew but not my brother. I remember my father paid for my brother's education when I put myself through school. I remember my father taking my hard-earned money to pay for my brother's braces when I never even got them. So not all Asian women don't date Asian men b/c of some self-hate. For me, it's a kind of rebellion against the oppressive traditional chinese culture that was forced upon me by my family.
Student of Life    Thursday, April 18, 2002 at 19:14:03 (PDT)
In college, the prevailing ideology was to date within my own race -- as a way to reject white supremacy. Mainstream American media taught us -- and still does -- that Anglo features and culture are superior than our own, resulting in many self-hating-Asian-Americans marrying only whites.

With that in mind, I left my loving Irish-German boyfriend for a Chinese guy and ended up making a big mistake. That relationship was hell and all he did was abuse me. NOTE: This is not to say that Chinese guys are abusive; in fact, many are wonderful. Rather, I'm saying that love should not be decided on color alone. Love should be based on the person -- regardless of whether s/he is Asian or non-Asian.

Today, I see nothing wrong with marrying outside one's race, as long as it is not for the wrong reason. And as a side note: When non-English Europeans -- Italians, Irish, Germans, Russians, etc. -- arrived in this country, they were singled out and discriminated against by the English rulers. Today, singling them out is near impossible b/c of the vast intermarriages that have occurred among them.
California Girl    Thursday, April 18, 2002 at 18:41:40 (PDT)
Russell, no one could have said it better. Love is the most important thing in a relationship, everyone on this site is so hung up on whether or not you should date inside/outside your race. There are those that vehemently criticize asians for dating whites, as if they are selling out, or as if dating a white person will make you less asian. Love knows no color, you are attracted to someone just because you are attracted to them.
reality    Tuesday, April 16, 2002 at 06:51:36 (PDT)
I think being bi-racial is a beautiful way of showing the world that love can conquer ignorance. One should choose whomever they love, not because of the color of their skin, their cultural background or whatever. A person should choose their mates solely based on LOVE. Race should never be an issue period.
As a matter of fact, this should have never been a topic on this board. Who cares if AA Men date other women of other races and vice versa for AA Women. Who cares????? Shouldn't they be happy to choose and love just like any and all the other races?
We take pride in our cultures sometime a little to the extreme. I mean it's okay to be proud of your culture, it's history and the lifestyle and what not, but why should you limit yourself to just that? That's why there are other cultures out there, to learn, to educated, to love and to live with. Ignorance is bliss people, but love truly has no color.
Russell's Sweet Delight keshayork@rocketmail.com    Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 00:20:57 (PST)

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