AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated )

sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests. Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
     What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.
Third Eye--

Although I agree that we shouldn't be racists, I think it's unfair that you think Korean Dude is in error for having preferrences over race in terms of dating. The reality of the world is that a black woman will most definitely have instilled in her, proud African traditions and culture--just as a Korean woman will have instilled in her, proud Korean traditions and culture. This being said, race often do affect what is "inside" the woman. This isn't to say that Korean culture or African culture is superior or inferior or desirable or less desirable--but for a Korean American man, a Korean American woman may have a much more compatible worldviews. Afterall, an African American man will share a greater sense of history and identity with his African American sister.

Please understand that I'm not against race mixing. I'm just saying that it's not wrong to make assumptions that someone of same background would most likely have similiar traits far as dating is concerned.

It's not just a question of race, it's a question of culture.

Let's say I, a Korean American male, married an African American female. Will my wife get peeved at the kimchi oder of the refrigerator? Will I get sick of the "soulful" food that she eats? Will she grow insane from the incessant k-pop music she hears from korean hangout places? Will she feel "left out" if I'm watching korean videos in Korean language? Will I feel awkward if I'm at her family gathering, and on the news there is a case about hostilities between African American-Korean relations in LA? Will she feel awkward getting stares when we take a family vacation to Seoul? Will my children feel rejected by both Korean and African american society? How will I be able to stand up for my wife in front of my disapproving mother without seriously straining my relationship with her? These are some serious issues that I would have to deal with, and i would be taking my African American wife along with it. We might be the most open, the most willing, the most loving couple, but there are issues that we will have to face.

Personally I do not believe in destiny, and that a relationship is a matter of how much you and your spouse is willing to compromise for each other. But I think that for this reason, it is far superior to date someone you are closer to. Also, many Korean Americans may wish to instill in to their offsprings a strong Korean American identity--they might fear that marrying out of race might weaken this bond. For my children, however, they will face no opposition from me, and in the future, we probably will see more Asian-African couples.
ka    Friday, May 17, 2002 at 09:06:42 (PDT)
I don't know if there is a real reason why Asian men tend to date outside their race. One thing I can say is what they want from a non-Af are not only just looks, but also interests. I know that some Af hate that a lot. This trend will continue, BUT, am/naf couples, not all, will break up in the future.
Am/Af couples or marriages, not all,........... they last a whole lot longer than other nA couples or marriages, which tends to be a fact.
chinalova    Friday, May 17, 2002 at 07:59:03 (PDT)
Korean Dude,

Excuses, excuses(*3rd eye Yawning)
I think everyone has gotten the idea you prefer white women. You know what?
That is okay too. Whatever floats your boat. Good luck to you dude.
Third Eye    Friday, May 17, 2002 at 01:13:20 (PDT)
After the Emancipation (1863), some white plantation owners in the South hired Chinese coolies to replace black slave labor. As the Reconstruction(1866-1877) came to an end, the Chinese faced racial prejudice and discrimination as Southern blacks did. Since Chinese were few in the South, many Chinese men married local non-Chinese women, including black American women. For example, the tenth census of Louisiana showed, among the 489 Chinese in the state, 28 had spouses present. Only 3 of those had China-born wives. Of the remaining, 4 married mulatto women, 12 married Negro women, 8 married white women, and 1 married an American-born Chinese.

In 1882, the Chinese Exclusion Act was passed to stop the immigration of Chinese laborers. Chinese wives of Chinese laborers already residing in the States were not allowed to join their husbands. It further stated that no Chinese could become a naturalized American citizen. The law still permitted teachers, students, merchants, and tourists to enter the United States. The Chinese Exclusion Act would not be repealed until 1943.

This law, and later ones like it, widened the gender imbalance in the mostly male Chinese American population. Some West Coast Chinese took Mexican wives and some took African American wives like their counterparts in the South. Other Chinese men lived lonely bachelor lives in the almost all-male Chinatowns.

European Americans came to view Chinese laborers as competition for employment. The 1870s and 1880s was a period of anti-Chinese agitation by European Americans. Hundreds of Chinese men were lynched or immolated in the American West. Some fortunate Chinese escaped this fate by finding refuge in black communities, eventually settling down with African American wives.

Images of black/yellow togetherness
The media promotes images of certain interracial unions above other kinds of interracial unions. Black/yellow couples or friends are often underrepresented (or not represented at all) in film and print media while images of white/yellow couples, mostly of a specific gender combination, are found everywhere in advertising, movies and books.

Black/yellow couples or friends often feel "there is no one else like us", or "no one's family or relationship looks like mine".

Chinese black man    Thursday, May 16, 2002 at 22:14:37 (PDT)
On Korean man:
Sounds like your Puerto Rican girl had a serious case of inferiority complex calling herself Italian. I always wondered the same, doesn't our society view people with even one drop of black blood "black?"
So under this definition most, like 95 % of all Puerto ricans should be classified as black. But they seem embarrassed of their black genes, they are always calling themselves "Spanish" and my ex wife who is Spanish (Spain) actually would burst out with laughter hearing this. Or they are always claiming Taino Indian blood.
My friend, there are very few, less than 5% white Puerto ricans. Now would you consider Jennifer Lopez "white?"
Not! Its obvious even with her attempt to look more white with blond hair, you can see the negroid blood in her.
What's up with all these PR chicks with babies at such early age? I'll stay clear of them if I were you unless you're just having fun, not marriage material dude.
By the way, you did date a black girl, she just happened to speak Spanish too.

Another Corean dude    Thursday, May 16, 2002 at 20:15:48 (PDT)
Growing up in North America it's inevitable asians will find love and relationships outside of their immediate ethnic and racial backgrounds. Personally I've dated only non-asian women..this is not to say I'm not attracted to asian women.
but circumstances and preferences determined my choice of women in my life.
The politics and statistics of outmarriage of asian women vis-a-vis asian men I find pointless. Who cares if an asian woman dates a "white "man or a" black" man and visa versa all that should really matter is he/she is a good and compatiable person. In the final analysis the significant other in ones life is the sole and defining purpose of our lives ie. procreate. All of our lives we are taught /conditioned to strive for the best academically{especially asians} physically and spiritually. WHY? so we [hopefully] attract a suitable mate. To me finding ms. right is not defined by race or culture .

latina loving korean hombre    Thursday, May 16, 2002 at 18:42:26 (PDT)
~Azian Mail~
Thanks!!!!! I'm not gonna let just one peson bring my spirits down.
His views kind of shocked me a little, but you know what his insight on race relation and racial dating as giving me more awareness of why I need to be here daily.
Simply because I think people (whether they like it or not) need to read positive words of encourgement and to see that beyond their little twisted world that they live in the spectrum is broad and comes in variations of colors.
I've said it time and time again that ignornace is a learned behavior, but it can be broken. The only way one can ever know the truth about culturial diversity is to educated oneself about it. One Korean Man is such a person who could learn a few things or two about the human race and how he should view women. *Hint* By the content of the character and not by the color of their skin.
If we are just play things to you One Korean Man, maybe you should have just became a freaking Priest, taken the oath and committed yourself to god, because you hurt people when you play with their emotions.
You hurt people when you say ignorant things, like I don't find Black women attractive. You hurt me and I don't even know you.
The whole I think this race is more beautiful than the other and this and that is just immature. Women are women, just like men are me. I know because I have dated every race under the sun.
Whatever the case may be One Korean Man, I'm gonna educated you to first love yourself for who you are and then to love everyone else no matter what race they are simply because I believe in doing so.
I know you are going to say, "I love myself so she knows nothing." But if you did, you wouldn't have came back on here trying to rectify what you said in your first initial post. If you loved the person who you are you wouldn't not be seeking solitude behind walls of bitterness.
1 Love 4 1 Race and that's the HUMAN RACE!

Russell's Sweet Delight keshayork@rocketmail.com    Thursday, May 16, 2002 at 11:52:02 (PDT)

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