WHAT DO WF LIKE BEST ABOUT AM?
(Updated )

hen many people see a pretty white woman with a good-looking Asian man the question that pops into their heads is "Why's she with him?" more often than "Why's he with her?"
     It's only natural. We've been told so often about the desirability of white women that we simply presume that an Asian man too would find a pretty white women desirable. But we are left to guess at her possible motives for being with him. Not that there aren't hundreds of thousands of handsome, charming and successful Asian men who, by all rights, should be attractive to women of any race. But we are all too aware thatt American society has built up many negative preconceptions about Asian men that would take extraordinary consideration, some special X factor, to overcome.
     The many examples of famous AM/WF couples (Mr/Mrs Yo-Yo Ma, Ming Tsai, Scott Oki, Charles Wang etc), don't really help, merely reinforcing the common presumption that the AM must be wealthy and able to provide an exceptional degree of financial security, material comfort or social status. Another common suspicion is that he must be unusually charming, cultured or sexually gifted. Then there's the old standby -- that the woman must have some odd fixation on Asian men or Asian culture.
     Of course intellectually we know better. Just as there are many independent-minded Asian men who see through blonde bimbo stereotypes to the real qualities of white women, there are white women who ignore stereotypes about Asian men. Which leads to the question: What's the real draw? Is it the black hair? educational level? smooth skin? cultural values? upslanting eyes? personality and character traits? Here's a chance for white women who love Asian men to set the record straight.
First, I'm sorry to hear that Jake the Educator had such a rotten experience with an obviously close-minded woman... I'll go out with an Asian man over a white man anyday (but hmmm, does that make me "racist" about my own race?)... My experience with Asian men has been not only rewarding, but educational as well. My attraction initially is physical - black hair, sexy cat-like eyes, smooth, soft skin, beautiful facial features, etc. - of course, there needs to be something upstairs to support those wonderful physical features. I prefer Asian men over white men primarily because Asian men seem so much more honest, not really into games, more loyal, more attentive, definitely more educated and driven (I adore intelligent successful men). I live near the beach and the white men I have to choose from is embarrassing. I am very close to my family and I just find that Asian men have much more of a respect for their families and themselves - whereas a majority of white men (of course not all) seem more interested in smoking pot, chillin', what's going on around them while they're on the date and who's looking at them, and while they're with you always seem to be on the prowl for some one better than who their with (hmmm, a little animosity going on here...). Basically to wrap this up, I feel much more feminine and much more relaxed when I'm out with an Asian man than when I'm with a white guy. I just find Asian men are more attentive, are living in that moment and interested in us. I'm just having a hard time finding someone my age who's available and interested in a white girl!

I am single, 32 and 5'8" - I'm waiting :-D
Erica, Orange County
misszx9@yahoo.com    Friday, August 31, 2001 at 06:40:56 (PDT)
All my girlfriends that I met in the US are non-asian and I am a FOP (Fresh of the plane, not the boat). It is easier to date non-asian women in the US than asian women. I never bother to ask an asian woman out here because I am not attracted to any of them. If a FOP like me can ask non-asian females out, asian american men should not have any problems. Quite often that I hear from AAMs here is their emphasis on dating asian females. Why is that? I don't know.
FOP
   Thursday, August 30, 2001 at 17:36:21 (PDT)
most of women i've dated are white and most of them are non-american(european, australian, south afrikan etc) ..and no none of them is fat. they were all slim and pretty. it seems to me white women from other countries are more likely to go out with asian men than american white women.


julian
theknot@yahoo.com    Wednesday, August 29, 2001 at 19:41:32 (PDT)
Question goes out to asian men, What is your statistical success of getting a date with non-asian females? If it is a high percentage, do you feel that it is because you have the charms and the looks? Another question is, if you feel that your not bad looking, do you still find it hard to date a non-asian girl?
someflyguy
someflyguy@hotmail.com    Wednesday, August 29, 2001 at 15:19:51 (PDT)
I love everything about them. I am a white female who thinks the Asian men are attractive, senual, intelligent and shy gentle sexy beings. I love their dark skin and hair and they are superb lovers! What more could a woman ask for!
white girl in Memphis
mscjcat@yahoo.com    Monday, August 27, 2001 at 22:35:24 (PDT)
honestly, with the guys i've met before, race was never the issue. I never really thought about it, I've grown up in the southwest, so there are so many different types of people- if you limited yourself to one race, you'd miss out on some great experiences! :) Mostly because i am really tall and reasonably big, i couldn't see dating anyone shorter or much thinnner than me. But the tricks fate plays! I am now happily married to a mainland Chinese man (born and raised in the PRC) who is marginally shorter and a good deal thinner! :) lol...i love him dearly and what attracted me to him had nothing to do with his race, but everything to do with what a wonderful person he is. Honest, straightforward (sometimes!),caring and compassionate. Honestly, i don't think i could find a man like this in America since our culture does not encourage these traits. If anything, i am slightly tipped against AMERICAN men (ie, any man who grew up in american culture, sorry guys). I got tired of "the game", the little wars the two sexes always seem to be raging against each other in the bars, clubs and on dates. We've never worried about "The Rules" or "The Game". Its very refreshing.
Either way, i love my man and everything about him! So, AM, if you guys are feeling frustrated about white women saying they wouldn't date AM...don't waste time on them. Who wants to date that kinda person anyhow?? Find someone (and i KNOW i am not unique) who cares less about the race of the man, and more about the quality.
peace!

Natalie
   Wednesday, August 22, 2001 at 11:43:22 (PDT)
Hey Christie,
Im a 21 year old Asian male and i love white females!!! wanna talk? drop me a line at UNRPHIL007@aol.com

or any interested WF


philip
unrphil007@aol.com    Tuesday, August 21, 2001 at 02:17:07 (PDT)
You know this particular forum just validated what I've been hypothesizing about non-Asian people all along. That non-Asians have alot more respect and love for Asians than Asians do, at least the ones who are infected with yellow fever that is. Heehee! Don't get me wrong! I have so much love and respect for women like member MLK. We need more Asian women and their counter-parts like her in our society. Kudos to you, MLK! On the other hand, as you can read of the many posts on this web site that they(non-Asians) out number people like you (MLK). :-(
Nam
   Monday, August 20, 2001 at 21:00:26 (PDT)
Natalie, a.k.a Dancingfeathers,

That's funny, I was taking summer college classes, and I met a Finnish/Native girl in my class that I quickly warmed upto. She's originally from Minnesota, and I was slightly hurt when she said, "You know, me and my girlfriends talked about [Asian Guys] the other day, and we all agreed that they are the last type of guy we'd consider going out with." I was appalled, but I kept my mouth shut, at first. Then on another day when we were having coffee after class, she said that she "dug Latinos", and that "Black guys were okay too". I quickly pointed out her subtle and subconsious racism by pointing out her hypocrisy in putting up an 'open-minded' front, while utlimately singling out Asian guys as the "undate-able race". I think I called it the "typical thinking of white middle America" (verbatim). She seemed slightly shocked that I came out so strongly on the topic, but I think I got her thinking. We were both very busy during the summer so we didn't get to talk much, but we promised to get together and talk about this and other issues (her interests are Spanish and Feminism) when the school year started. I think I just may have opened her eyes to Asian men (not in a romantic sense -- I just mean that I've alerted her to our presence in the world), and I guess it's upto her to truly open up her mind and heart to all men. I'm not romantically interested in her, but I do hope to educate her about Asian men and other Asian American issues, and urge her to pass along the word to her friends. And on the flip side, and I've also learned a great deal about Native Americans and their modern social politics, which is facinating (The schisms that exist between native men and women are similar to the ones between Asian men and women, but very different in another sense.).

Uh, I've blabbered for long enough. I don't see many native people on this website, so I just thought I'd share this with ya. Take care.
Jake the Educator
   Saturday, August 18, 2001 at 00:01:17 (PDT)
Asian men are so sexy! I'm a 20 year old WF who is way more attracted to AM than WM...both physically and personality-wise.

I do think that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My attraction to AM is simply a personal preference.
Christie
   Friday, August 17, 2001 at 20:26:27 (PDT)
talking about whites who have native american blood in them, I too, have felt more comfortable talking to white people who I knew had natives' blood.

I'm just able to easily accept them and talk to them like I would to an Asian buddy (considering they were complete strangers). For some reason, I can't do that to 100% black or 100% white people whom I do not know.
jjk
   Friday, August 17, 2001 at 19:01:11 (PDT)
Wow...I finally feel a connection to another soul.
I guess it comes down to respect and kindness.
I look into an asian man's eyes and I see a connection to a soul that I feel so comfortable.
I am Part Native , and i feel that their are many things in commen with natives and asian's.
Life is magical and I know that the universe will bring me another soul that is right for me.
May he be asian or of another race.
But my heart twinkles when i see an asian man.
Hugs Natalie

ps...asian men are so romantic , and adorable


pss. I am single
dancingfeathers@hotmail.com
dancingfeathers@hotmail.com    Friday, August 17, 2001 at 00:23:32 (PDT)
My Fascination with "Asian Men" started awhile back. I grew up with the phrase "salt and pepper don't mix unless its on your eggs". My father served in Vietnam and was against me going out with any other race except "white". Preferably Sicilian decent. After all I'm 1/2 Sicilian.
Well as a teen I fell in love with a man named Bao. He was Vietnamese. My father had a fit. It took him awhile to realize that Bao had helped me become a much better person. I was more cheerful and not such a little brat anymore. Until he realized this Bao's skin color posed a problem. Time went by and Bao and I were to be married and we had a child. Two weeks before the wedding he was killed in a bad accident Leaving me with my daughter and all alone.
Since then I've been married twice to "white" men. So I've been through both spectrums.
Personally as far as what attracts me to "asian" is not only the caramel skin tone, hardly any body hair, those gorgeous soulful eyes, and those full kissable lips. Not to mention the stamina. Its the fact that I have always been treated with the utmost respect and love from any of my asian boyfriends.
Celestianna
celestianna@yahoo.com    Thursday, August 16, 2001 at 16:51:31 (PDT)

In my opinion, it has nothing to do with with the physical appearances of oriental men, this is my preference...my choice..I love the qualities of the chinese mentality, the gentlenss, patience....intelligence, their deep thinking of life....!
This charm of over-whelming in the beauty of their personality has captured my heart...its a beauty that comes from within themselves...the depth of their soul is unsupassed by any other man I ever knew...this is what I can feel in my spirit and the touch of their hand is like anyother I have ever felt, I am honored to know such an incrediable man who I am honored by such grace.
Rebekah Blondebaby_38
becky@intergrafix.net    Thursday, August 16, 2001 at 16:23:03 (PDT)

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