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GOLDSEA |
YOUR TRUE STORIES
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My Brother's Reaction to My AM Husband (Babyblue)
i Hayley. When I read your post, it was very much like my experience. When I was dating my guy, some of my white male friends even asked me why I would date an Asian guy. My answer was "Why do you care who I date? Are you a racist? If you are my friend, don't you want to see me happy? Most of my friends got the message and accepted my decision and never dared to ask me that question again. However, I did have two white guys who continued to try and break up my relationship by giving my boyfriend a hard time. Needless to say, they are no longer my friends. I went on to marry my boyfriend and now he is my husband.
My brother was also cold to my husband. My mom and sisters were fine, my father was noncommittal but said if your mom is okay with it, then I am okay with it. My husband and I own an apartment building. My husband even offered to give a studio apartment to my brother at whatever rent I wanted to charge him or free even just to warm up their relationship. But my brother felt that would be a hand out and his ego could not take it.
Hayley, you are absolutely right. Asian guys are a threat to some white guys, black guys, and others. They feel resentment and wonder why should Asian guys be successful. Rather than building up themselves and compete for the top careers, top colleges, and maximize the American opportunity, they want to keep the Asian guys down. I said to my brother, “America does not promise you success just because you are white. It only promises you an opportunity for success.” Some guys grab the opportunity and some guys don’t. I have given my brother many chances to fix the relationship with my husband. Quite frankly, I am tired of it. My brother is a lost cause because of jealousy, resentment, and like other white guys, would rather make excuses than to compete head to head with Asian guys. I have to give my husband some credit for remaining calm. He even joked with me and said, "Between the two of us, you are the one with the shorter fuse. You can get mad for the two of us."
Babyblue
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READER COMMENTS
Hey, i think your brother is so mad because you didn't marry a arrogant white dude just like him (i apologize to say that) but u got a good husband which he didn't see his inner qualitites so only time will tell when the icy feeling will melt.
Rockslider
Friday, August 23, 2002 at 01:52:35 (PDT)
Babyblue,
Do you live somewhere in the Southern parts of the U.S.? It is much harder to find acceptance there than in the West, not that there will also be jealous people everywhere.
Best of luck to you and I hope that everything works out for you and your family.
Ray
Friday, August 16, 2002 at 07:37:02 (PDT)
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