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YOUR TRUE STORIES
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Chi-Can Man's Failed Marriage to a Cor-Can Woman
am a Chinese male, living in Toronto, Canada and work for a prominent IT consulting firm. I just got divorced with my Korean wife after a short one-year marriage... I am 32 now; I thought it would be a beautiful marriage at first. I knew many Koreans since university.
I am the kind that truly loves the Korean culture. I read about the history stuff. I listen to Korean pop music, eat Korean food and try to speak simple words. During my marriage, I went to a Korean church as well, just to make her feel comfortable.
I can say I know the Korean culture quite well, at least from a Chinese perspective. For the older generation, 40 - 60 range, Korean woman and man have very good traditional values. However, the younger generation is a different story. When Korean ladies are in a good mood, they are the best people in the world... when you are not on their side... watch out...
I agree with many of the opinion at this site that most Korean women are attractive and kind. However, often the good looks tell only half the story. Deep down inside, many Korean woman (not only my ex-wife, but many Korean woman I meet as friends and in university), have a very fierce and fiery temper. When they have an opinion or decide on sth, nothing changes their mind. With Chinese woman, at least you could sit down; talk and eventually you could both come to terms. However, for a Korean woman, their determination is like a rock. If this determination is a positive one, all Chinese husbands will have the best wives. When the force suddenly switches from positive to negative, look out, they are intolerable. They would do absolutely everything to destroy you.
Why are they like that? I went dig deeper why many of them are like that. I found this to be a deep social problem in N. American Korean society. The typical Korean family in N. America is like this:
Most Korean men work on a small business (grocery store, restaurant or any Korean community type business) in N. America. The wife always helps the husband at the company. They are always at work and come home very late. They are often too busy and too tired from work and can only tend to the physical needs of the children. As a result they often are unable to provide them the necessary ‘moral’ and ‘cultural’ training. The only ‘moral’ training is when the daughter does something really bad, then the father yells at her at the top of their voice. This was exactly the situation with my ex-wife and many Korean families I knew.
If you meet a Korean girl in front of her parents, she is polite and obedient, otherwise the father will yell or hit her (I witnessed my father-in-law slapped my ex-wife right in front of me.) The parents often have no idea what kind of person their daughter is when they are not around. Their parents understand the limited amount of time they have with their children and try to fulfill their needs by offer ‘material rewards’. The children become wild and uncontrollable… with money… and no attention. Their parents are never around to teach them how to use money nor how to behavior. Gradually they become spoiled, dependent, wild and too afraid to find a job.
Of course, I cannot say all Korean women are exactly like that, but at least my experience with most of the Korean women, including my ex-wife, and their families fit into this typical N. American Korean family profile.
I do like Korean women, because when they are nice to you, there is no other race you could compare to (after dating Chinese and white). They make great wives and they will love their children dearly… all provided their parents have passed on the traditional Korean virtues to them…
I still hope I would meet a nice, beautiful Korean lady again someday... One that will prove me wrong... one that I can have children with and I could spend my life together with...
Toronto Chinese Male, 32 guycheung@hotmail.com
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