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GOLDSEA |
YOUR TRUE STORIES
[NOTE TO READERS: This page is closed to new input. You can post new true stories and continue discussions at the new improved Instant Polls & Comments area. --Ed.]
AM Recovering from Adonis Complex
e've often heard of anorexia and bulemia
struggles with females due to the pressures of society to be thin and "attractive". On the opposite side, my case is one of an AM dealing with steroids and the Adonis Complex.
Like many AMs I have heard from on this board and many others, I think I can understand why someone like myself can develop a complex of being "unmasculine" with all the media imagery of the AM as being court jester for white popular culture while AFs are portrayed as exotic sex objects. Combine that with all the real world imbalance of IRs which obviously don't favor AMs, racism and other b.s. that we have to face, this all makes for one volatile AM.
I will be called "insecure" for my story but perhaps some of you may know the root of it and if you don't then maybe try looking from somebody else's shoes. I began working out at age 19 and my body progressed quickly. By age 23 I had begun experimenting with steroids in order to acheive a bigger and leaner physique, pumping away with the attitude of "I'll show them" or "wait 'til they see me then have to go back to their average white guys!" When instant respect and admiration didn't come as a result of being big and lean, it was devastating.
At age 24 I entered my first local bodybuilding competition and won at a height of 5'6 and 178lbs. I may have won that day but the price I payed was nearly losing my life the next. I was admitted to hospital for severe dehydration as a result of one particular steroid.
I'm happy to say now that at age 28, I'm totally clean, work out naturally and in the best shape of my life. Yes I do still have issues with the AM image but I am seeking out more positive and spiritual ways to overcome them. I'm single and if I ever do find the love of my life, I can overcome anything at all. Anyone thinking of steroids, bulemia/anorexia as a way to acheive a look for adoration, admiration and attention, it's not worth it.
If you feel the whole world is against you, f*ck it. All you need is one that is with you and it makes up for all the rest who aren't. I'm still looking for her but not as a big bad bodybuilder, but as an intelligent, sensitive AM that many of us are.
Just another AM
Tuesday, August 07, 2001 at 08:45:29 (PDT)
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