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AF Rethinking Surgery on Epicanthic Fold

s an asian woman who had my epicanthic folds (asian eyes) fixed I have come to understand one important thing. Many people on these posts think that we (Asian women, & even men) are not getting this surgery to look more "white". I assure you, it is.
I also used to say to everyone and to myslef, "the reason i was getting the surgery wasn't to immitate the caucasian look, I just want to make my eyes more beautiful". Then I realized, the reason I thought they would be more beautiful is because they (my eyes) would indeed look more caucasian. For a while I was happy. But then I realized they I thought was WRONG and SICKENING. The way which i realised this was horrible, it was after I had my first baby child, a lovely daughter, 2 years after my eye lid surgery. When I saw her after birth for the first time, my little baby girl, I unfortunately and shamefully saw an ugly asian baby. I am ashamed to admit this now. But this is how I felt at the time.
This was the moment when my life changed. I finally came to terms with my self hatred, and the denial of my race and herritage. The way many (and i know many will still deny) asians feel about our looks. I final realized what I had done to myself was a attrocity, an abomination! I had become a monster. Someone who hated her child because she looked asian. Because she looked like her mother, like the REAL me. The me i knew i hated. Her father is caucasian. Now i want to get my asian eyes again, so she can grow up a healthy young lady confident in her race and her looks, her herritage. Unlike i did. I grew up hating myself. I plead to all other asian people. Please don't deny our race. Make our race proud. Keep our features, I am ashamed to look the way i look, and i am seeking to restore my Asianness. The more we get cosmetic surgery to look less asian. The worse we make our self esteem. We think it makes us feel better. All it is doing is ensuring future Asian descendants have even less self-esteem than we have today.
Now proud to have been an Asian woman
Sunday, August 12, 2001 at 09:02:28 (PDT)

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READER COMMENTS

Rubyskies,

You are right, it is insulting. Why is it that when a white person is desperate to get a tan, or goes to the solarium and burns herself to a crisp, nobody accuses her of wanting to be a different race?

If Asian women were insane enough to want to look 'white' we'd be getting ourselves big noses, big bums and hairy arms, wouldn't we?

But I think it's strange that people think double eyelids are prettier than single ones. I am Asian (Chinese) and never thought eyelids were an issue until I read the comments on this website.

I actually think eyebrows are of much more consequence; Higher eyebrows look prettier than eyebrows that are too close to the eyes. It doesn't matter whether your lids are single or double, as long as your eyebrows are nice.

So before doing anything drastic to your eyes, do try experimenting with your eyebrows. Classic Chinese eyes with high eyebrows look sublime on a woman, especially with very subtle makeup.

Too big eyes on Chinese women look strange. I can't even think of any famous beautiful Chinese women who have big, round eyes. Wouldn't you rather look like Gong Li than have big eyes like a cow?

If you're insecure about your eyes it probably means you haven't been watching enough Chinese movies. Watch more Chinese films; It will make you thank your ancestors for your almond eyes. Its cheaper, safer and more fun than eyelid surgery.
Chinese Beauty    Friday, November 15, 2002 at 06:10:09 (PST)    [144.132.5.8]
I strongly disagree on people's opinion that the major reasons for double eyelid surgery is to look more caucasian. I got mine done just a month ago and my only reason was to remove the skin pushing down on my eyelashes. As other asians without the double fold experience, gravity and natural aging causes the eyelid to push the eyelashes straight down. I definately did NOT do this to look caucasian. I am a very proud Korean woman with deep Korean roots. I would never want to look like someone else, especially a caucasian person. I find Asian people the most beautiful beings on this planet. I have great Korean Pride and strong self esteem. For anyone to tell me that I got my eyes done to look more caucasian is a complete insult.
rubyskies    rubyskies1@yahoo.com Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 09:22:55 (PST)    [205.174.22.21]
Seriously, having a pair of large eyes stands out in a crowd in Asia...When i was young people used to critisized my eyes by saying that such small eyes can still be able to see the world cearly as in full image..but do all of u knoe that i used to be a very cheerful little gal and have a great self-confidence in myself..until the day of how people judge my appearance..i lost all my confidence!! Slowly...i dare not express myself or bring myself to talk to others especially an eye to eye communication...cos there's this thing in my heart..kept telling me that the person whom is communicating wif me is actually judging my small almond eyes..years pass and one day i tried to put a double eyelids sticker but it was really no use...so later i tried another idea which is better..by using a small rounded pin and continuously rub against my eyes to have a double eyelids will it really works for the whole day unless when u wan to sleep.. And Now, i've slowly gain back my confidence...tell all of u the truth i really want to undergo a cosmetic surgery but jus feel afraid as many of my aunts do not have a beautiful eyes after a surgery. So right now i'll jus wait n see...So please, never to show no feelings or insult those people who has undergo cosmetic surgery cos most of them just wan to gain BACK THEIR CONFIDENCE!!! Give them a chance!!!
TRUTH    jtan19@pacific.net.sg Saturday, November 02, 2002 at 06:51:02 (PST)    [192.169.41.46]
It's really great to actually see an asian person who was able to admit the truth about this sort of surgery. Blepharoplasty (or whatever they call it now) really disturbed me when I first heard about it. The worst part is when people make excuses for wanting to alter the way THEY look. Saying it's not to look white, they just want to look better. Regardless of who they are or aren't trying to look like I ask, whatever happened to individuality? People should just stay the way they are unless they really have a serious deformity or whatever. It's sad to see people destroy one of the best, most special things about themselves.

I'm a young black man, and I must admit that knowing that most people view blacks as being the lowest of the low among races made me badly want some surgeries to alter my appearance when I was younger as well. But getting a surgery for that reason is really just going too far.

This was a moving story. Thankyou for sharing it with all of us.
Andrew, BM, 03-07-83
saechan_chan@msn.com Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 15:15:27 (PDT)
To: Now proud to have been an Asian woman,

Thank you so much for your story. It is truly an inspiration to see an Asian woman who is now proud of her ancestry. As an Asian American I know that many Asians hate their eyes and want to look more white even though they won't admit it. I was once ashamed of my Asian features until one day in high school when someone said, "You look really pretty for an Asian." And I was actually flattered by this and took it as a compliment! Immediately after I smiled at this "compliment" I felt ashamed. I realized that this person was basically saying that Asian people were ugly and I was buying into his racist perceptions of me and other Asians. My mother has been encouraging me to "fix" my eyelid which is very sad. I am glad that you will not subject your own daughter to this. I love my mother very much but I resent her for hating my Asian features and in essence she is also hating herself. Thanks for telling your story. You are beautiful. We Asians need to be proud of our natural beauty and love ourselves.
Beautiful Asian American woman and proud of it
queenofdystopia@yahoo.com Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 09:32:03 (PDT)