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GOLDSEA |
YOUR TRUE STORIES
[NOTE TO READERS: This page is closed to new input. You can post new true stories and continue discussions at the new improved Instant Polls & Comments area. --Ed.]
Jealous Of A Deceased Ex-Girlfriend
'm an Asian gal dating a Caucasian guy for the past 6 months. My parents do not approve of me dating anyone non-Asian so I am risking my family for him. The problem is I am not sure if he is worth battling my family over. I dont want to make a mistake and lose my family. What bothers me is that he was once engaged to this Hispanic girl who was 10 years younger than him. Unfortunately for him, she was cheating on him throughout the relationship and got pregnant by the other guy and thats the reason why they broke it off. If he was the one that got her pregnant he told me he would have tried to worked it out. But if I become pregnant now , he suggests getting an abortion. He was pretty much really in love with her and sometimes I feel he still is. Two months ago she died in a car accident. Eventhough physically she is not a threat but mentally she is. Eventhough she betrayed him like that he sometime is still making excuses for her saying she didnt mean to. So is he worth it?
To go or not to go
Wednesday, October 17, 2001 at 12:27:38 (PDT)
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GOLDSEA |
YOUR TRUE STORIES
[NOTE TO READERS: This page is closed to new input. You can post new true stories and continue discussions at the new improved Instant Polls & Comments area. --Ed.]
READER COMMENTS
...If the guy is mades excuses for her when she was alive for things that he would not excuse for you, (wow great English, sorry 'bout that) then obviously there is something to be jealous about. However, now that she has passed away, we always need to show respect for the deceased, and grilling him would not be very wise. However, again, if he made excuses for her even while she was still alive, and he was with YOU at the time, I personally say DUMP THE BASTARD. He's not worth dropping your family. In fact, even IF he was different, it's not worth dumping your family for a guy. Relationships come and go, but family ties are as thick as blood. You can find some one else that will care for you and make excuses for YOU rather then someone else. Why play it second banana?
...Even if she did pass away, seriously it's not worth sticking with him if he's like that, because it just goes to show that he doesn't care about you as much as you do him. I mean, you're willing to give up your FAMILY for the chump and he's not even willing to raise a baby with you if you became pregnant right now. Think about it a little, you're giving up YOUR FAMILY to be with a man that doesn't want to raise a family with you???
trust me, guys like that are NOT worth the heartstrain over.
...speaking from expirience.
stillmany fish in the sea
Monday, September 30, 2002 at 02:19:43 (PDT)
[65.184.91.9]
i also dated a guy whose ex-gf passed away shortly after they broke up. they were still teens at the time; she died in a car crash. i, too, felt like i could not compete with a dead person--we're all put in a much better light when we're dead. at the same time, i needed to know that he loved me more...
after many arguments that stemmed from this, he finally came out and said he always felt stronger about me, that i was prettier, had a cuter personality, etc.--it's just that she was already dead...and he didn't want to say anything mean or negative about her. needless to say, i felt pretty horrible after i forced him to say all that.
your bf may just be a sensitive guy who does not want to say anything negative about someone who has already passed...
penelope
Sunday, November 04, 2001 at 22:20:08 (PST)
are you crazy? how can you put your boyfriend before your family? if you become poor, mentally retarded, and crippled, your family will always be there for you. however, i don't think your boyfriend would do the same. even worse, it sounds like your bf would dump you on a heartbeat if his ex-gf was still alive and willing to take him back!!!!
no family but your family.....
swk20@yahoo.com
Monday, October 22, 2001 at 10:46:58 (PDT)
What are your values about pregnancy and abortion? How long were they broken up before she died? Have you cheated on him? These are some questions that need to be answered.
I once dated a Caucasian guy who had been broken up with another Asian girl for two years before she committed suicide. He'd since dated other women, but the fact that he didn't get to go to her funeral and the fact that he didn't recognize a bunch of warning signs she'd sent out left him still feeling guilty at times.
He didn't talk about it much--but I obsessed over it. I thought that I could never compete with a dead woman and anytime he would be sitting silently, I'd get mad and accuse him of thinking about her. Eventually, he broke up with me because he got tired of me making all these accusations of him.
I guess my point is this: if you are in agreement on how to handle an unwanted pregnancy, then that shouldn't be an issue. If he is always talking about her or seems to be obsessing about her and it's been long enough (a year or two) for him to grieve, then he either needs to get over it or you need to dump him. If you are the one who is obsessing over this girl and he's not talking about it, then you need to adjust your attitude. Please learn from my mistake here.
Annie Ng
Friday, October 19, 2001 at 08:42:25 (PDT)
Why don't you just get a normal boyfriend? Is all that stupid drama necessary?
Dump the bastard.
AM
Friday, October 19, 2001 at 01:45:53 (PDT)
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