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First Kiss and Honor Too


am a biracial female. My father is African American, and my mother is Jewish American. I was raised in a predominantly black neighborhood in the West End of town. It was sometimes very difficult. I was always getting teased about my mother being white, and the fact that shes Jewish.
I had never been around anyone other than Black and White Americans most of my life...
My first encounter with asian boys was in the 8th grade.In our school there was an 'English as Second Language' program. There were alot of students from Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos. I remember developing the biggest crush in the whole world on a cute Vietnamese boy named Tam Le. We had every class together with the exception of science class with Mrs. Littlefield. We became really good friends. He started helping me with projects in Shop class, and I helped him with Language Arts homework.
I used to tell my best friend Marie how I felt about him. She used to say,"Just tell him how you really feel"


At school interracial friendships was a very normal everyday thing...but asian boys with non-asian girls in boyfriend girlfriend situations? Thats something you never saw. Its like it was unheard of or something. I remember Marie went behind my back and told Le about me. I had no idea that she did it. We had a field trip to the Indianapolis Children's Museum the very next morning. I remember we went to this cave exhibit...someone put their hands over my eyes, and I could not see...then they took them off...and Le was standing right in front of me. He had this very peculiar look on his face, and he was sort of smiling. I felt really weird and awkward that he was looking at me like that. He asked me in a very serious voice,
"So...Do you like me?"
I was really shocked, and couldn't believe he was asking me that question. I knew right away Marie must have told him....I remember saying,
"Yes of course. You know I like you. We are friends right?" I was trying to appear very cool, because inside I was feeling so so nervous. Then he said moving closer,
"No, I mean...do you like me-like me"...
I felt completely speechless, and couldn't think of what words to say to him. And it made me a little nervous the way his voice sounded. We just stood there for the longest time and...he says,"I really like you alot"...I think he could see his answer in my eyes or something, because he pulled me very close and kissed me on the lips. That was the first time I had ever been kissed by a boy. My heart was beating so fast. I thought I was going to pass out! It felt like we were kissing forever and ever...
Some black boys from our class saw us kissing and they were making a big deal out of it later on the schoolbus. After that day I remember these same boys kept teasing me so bad about kissing him. "OOhhh! She kissed a chink boy! I think shes turning chinky! She already looks like a Chink-spick any way!" They would say. They already made fun of me because of my mother. They used to say,"Her mommas a the Dirty White Jew lady!" If they weren't calling me a "Chink-spick", then it was about my mother being the "Dirty White Jew lady" It really hurt so bad. It made me feel ugly and inhuman. I remember trying hard not to let them ever see me cry. My father always taught me...no matter how horrible people make you feel, always be strong. Never be weak, never let them see you cry. But sometimes it didn't always work. One time I remember Marie and I was leaving gym and these boys were following us down the hallways saying,"Shes a dirty Jew like her momma! Shes trash. Shes probably got lice in her nasty honky hair. Honky trash have lice ya know. She don't look black. What the hell is she?" It was like everywhere I would go, they would follow us. I tried to go to the cafeteria, but they would just sit where I sat. Marie was like,"Lets go to the principal" I didn't want to go to him again. The last time it didn't do anything but give me the reputation of a 'snitch'. I remember the tallest one shoved my books out of my hands and pushed me really hard. I felt humiliated and worthless... I was so much smaller than them. I remember Le came from the cafeteria with his friend and he stood there watching. I was really embarrassed that he saw what happened. He heard what they said too, and that really made me feel horrible. I wanted to cry right then, because it was so embarrassing. He came over to them and said,"Leave her alone"... I felt scared when he said that, because I knew there were four of them and only one of him. I thought he would just make it worse really. I remember this one guy Lewis said,"Chinkboy is sweet on nasty jewgirl. Come on, what are you gonna do about it little punk?" And he was doing this nudge thing with his shoulder at Le's shoulder. I was getting really scared by now. Then Le did some sort of kicking and punching to him. I had never seen anything like it. He completely knocked the guy down. And then he punched one of the other guys down too. The other two was just watching and they didn't say anything, they got quiet. I remember people had started coming from the cafeteria and crowding around and watching. It was so weird. Noone had ever defended my honor before in my entire life. I remembered Le came over to me then and asked me,"Are you okay?" I nodded yes. He put his arms around me right there in front of everyone, and kissed my cheek. I felt like I was dreaming and couldn't wake myself! For a minute it felt like time was standing completely still. Then the principal came and pulled him away to the office...

Mia
Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 02:35:23 (PDT)


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GOLDSEA | YOUR TRUE STORIES

[NOTE TO READERS: This page is closed to new input. You can post new true stories and continue discussions at the new improved Instant Polls & Comments area. --Ed.]

READER COMMENTS

It recently I dated a (Taiwanese) guy; when we walked, he would pull down on my hand to draw me near. It was really sweet and touching. I never felt protected like that in my life either - and Le did so much more! I like your story because somewhere out there there is a guy who will fight for me, protect me and love me. We broke up after two weeks though, maybe because I told him I 'wanted a serious relationship' (I really just wanted him to be my real bf before we had sex) - I was super shy and TOTALLY crazy about this guy ... sigh ... *smack, smack*! :) ... I miss him terribly. :(

I will always think of him and your story. Thanks for sharing your story.
nboudreau    Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 17:48:14 (PDT)    [24.222.155.247]
What a really touching story. I think you should try to look Le up. I recently tracked down an old crush who I hadn't seen since I was 15. (I'm 33 now.) We reconnected, and now we're becoming really good friends. (We could potentially become more than that if we didn't live 350 miles away from each other.)

So it does happen. Believe me, it's very satisfying to reconnect with someone who was once very dear to you.

I shuddered when I read about how the black boys would tease you. I'm a black male, and I must admit that as a boy I teased Asian refugees who came to my school. One popular person started doing it, and I went right along with the program. Fortunately I wised up, and it wasn't long before I became friends with the kids I used to tease -- and their friends, and their friends. It wasn't long before I was getting teased by the very kids I used to run with. That was a real eye-opener, I tell you.


Many years later I wound up in Japan teaching English. Since then my work has put me in situations where I sometimes get the opportunity to talk to inner-city kids about my experiences, including my time in Japan. I always tell them to be brave and befriend the kids that look different and talk different from them, and how satisfying those friendships can be.

Anyway, thank you for the story, Mia. You put a smile on my face today.
Pokey    Sunday, September 15, 2002 at 13:58:53 (PDT)    [209.178.160.137]