Friend Becomes Live-in Lover | Asian Air True Stories

[NOTE TO READERS: This page is closed to new input. You can post new true stories and continue discussions at the new improved Instant Polls & Comments area. --Ed.]

Friend Becomes Live-in Lover

remember a girlfriend I had just out of college (It's been a year and half since graduation). She was Chinese, and she asked me how many women I had been with, and what they were like. I mentioned that my ex was black/Latina, and she basically flipped. She started to ask me questions like, "So, was she better than me in bed? She is a black sex machine afterall." or "Somebody had jungle fever". I didn't think much of it at first, but her jealousy and insecurity eventually got to me. At every turn, jealous questions came hurtling my way. "Who else did you fuck? I'll bet you want a white girl too." It didn't help to tell her that I also dated a white woman in college. Soon enough, the questions and constant probing were becoming too much to ignore. She would even make snide, joking remarks about cheating on me "since [I've] had [my] fun too", and that hurt my feelings.

Eventually I started to pour out my feelings and frustration to a Italian/Mexican friend that I knew in Pasadena (She went to college with a good friend of mine, and we were introduced at his birthday party.) We were merely acquaintances at first, but I needed someone to pour out my feelings to, and most of my guy friends just weren't into talking about their feelings like that. Besides, I thought it was worth a try since we had great friendly chemistry when we talked amongst our group of friends. I would call her late at night, and talk about how I couldn't stand my gf (now ex)'s nagging. She was very attentive and sweet, and I found myself attracted to her nurturing and gentle nature. It also helped that she had a wispy, feminine, foxy voice. A few weeks later, we hung out in a group, (my buddy, his friends, her, me and some others), had some drinks at a bar while watching the Lakers win the NBA Finals in Santa Monica and basically forgot about the 'problem' back home (she was out with her own friends that night -- we had a different set of friends). We were having such a good time that we lost track of the drinks we had, and by the end of the night we were all pretty smashed. It was almost 2 AM. We all split outside the bar, and I offered to take her to Starbucks so we could have some coffee while we waited for the buzz to wear off (all the starkbucks were closed by then so we found a cool, breezy spot by Santa Monica Pier to relax). There, I got depressed and started to cry a little. I was embarrassed, and I didn't know why I was showing my emotions to a person that I didn't know that well. But what she did next surprised me. She moved closer to me and hugged me, and lifted my chin so that I was facing her. She kissed the tears on my cheeks and then gave me a very soft, tender kiss on my lip, no tongue. I could feel a trace of moisture on her full lips, and the smell of her perfume was dizzying. I held her close and squeezed her hand gently. I ended up spending the night at her place (I later got a ticket for leaving my car in Santa Monica - oh well), but we didn't have sex. I was feeling too emotionally fragile and just wanted to be held, so we just spent the whole night, cuddling in her warm bed. I slept like a baby that night, and when I woke up I found her in the kitchen making breakfast for the both of us. I didn't realize it then, but I was falling for her fast. A girl who holds you all night, then makes you breakfast -WOW- you gotta love it! =).

When I got home that afternoon, my gf was furious. We started screaming, cursing, and accused me of sleeping around. She was close, but not quite. I didn't feel any guilt about spending the night with Amy, and I just told her "Forget it, its over. I'm sick of your mindgames." I moved out the next week and moved in with Amy. We're still together, and its been a great 8 months with her. Since college I had had a string of Asian girlfriends, but with Amy I re-discovered why I had dated outside my race. The differences were what made it so fun and interesting.

I was driven away by my ex because she couldn't handle the fact that I had dated outside of my race (she dated a white guy in HS -- how ridiculous is that!!?). Her constant cold-shouldering, mood swings, and refusal toward my sexual advances left me majorly frustrated (mentally and sexually) until I couldn't handle it anymore.
Steve Kim
Thursday, November 01, 2001 at 22:21:54 (PST)

This page is closed to new input.
Stories and comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
To post your new true stories or to comment on these stories, go to our new improved Your True Stories area at Instant Polls & Comments

CONTACT US | ADVERTISING INFO

© 1996-2013 Asian Media Group Inc
No part of the contents of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission.

GOLDSEA | YOUR TRUE STORIES

[NOTE TO READERS: This page is closed to new input. You can post new true stories and continue discussions at the new improved Instant Polls & Comments area. --Ed.]

READER COMMENTS

Steve,

I am very proud that you terminated your relationship with your exgirlfriend.

Your happiness is the most important. As long you and your soul mate are happy with each other, that's all that counts.

I must say from experience that some Asian women are level-headed and emotionally healthy. There are also some very bitter Asian women with egos as high as Mount Everest.

It was time for you to make a decision and I'm glad to hear that you are happy.

Mark in Virginia
Mark in Virginia
runbeagle@aol.com Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 20:25:53 (PST)

your gf was an insecure hippocrite with no self-confidence. I'm glad you found someone better. To think she even had the gall to nag you like that when she dated a whiteboy. What a loser.
jerry chen
Friday, November 02, 2001 at 18:26:06 (PST)

Since college I had had a string of Asian girlfriends, but with Amy I re-discovered why I had dated outside my race. The differences were what made it so fun and interesting.

steve,

amy sounds like a nice gal. but what makes you think that your luck in dating non-asians stems partially from the fact that these girls were non-asian--and not just that they happened to be great people?

also, keep in mind that it would be illogical to conclude that your chinese girlfriend and her jealous tendencies are representative of asian girls.

penelope
Friday, November 02, 2001 at 18:18:21 (PST)

Kudos for you Steve. I am happy for you that you made a smart choice - choosing your Italian/Mexcian friend over your double-standarded Chinese ex-girlfreind. This should make a headline if your story was published on a paper - Asian man dumped his Asian woman for a non-asian woman. Yeah, what is with this double-standard held by Asian women on interracial dating? Nobody says a damn thing when Asian women go out with non-Asian men. However, when an Asian man prefers a non-Asian woman to an Asian woman, the sisters go bezerked. Your ex is obviously a racist accusing you of having had a jungle fever and a black sex machine. You did not lose anything.
FOP
Friday, November 02, 2001 at 12:36:55 (PST)