Corean Adoptee Growing Up in Minnesota | Asian Air True Stories

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Corean Adoptee Growing Up in Minnesota

am a Korean Adoptee reared in a similar environment. I was chosen by a Danish mother and a Norwegian father in America. I was isolated there living on the farm. growing up in such an environment was difficult. I had no friends in high school. I was left out of everything... I couldn't fit into this small farming community. I was unlike all the other white kids with blond and light brown hair and white skin. I thought I was a mutant. I wondered at times if I was the only Korean left in the world. I would day dream about finding my biological family and meeting them adn finding out that they were rich. I was too small for sports... my 120lb frame during High School was useless in the popular sport of football. I questioned my abilities and self worth... never had a date during High school. I wondered if I was the elephant man. So ugly... but why didn't anybody tell me this?
even relationship with my family was weird. I wanted my life to be so normal. I wanted what everyone else had. I didn't look like my parents. I did and though differently then they did and they could not accept that. I was always told to change. I remember that my grandmother told me that she loved me even though I didn't look like her... not just a regular how are you honey, I love you! Everything was so awkward. Everything was an issue of color and origin. Strangers would ask me where I was from and if I said so and so Minnesota they would laugh ans ask me where I was "really" from. Like I couldn't be American because I was adopted? Oh are you an exchange student? Are you going to marry your own? Don't you feel so lucky to be adopted? Yes I was the yellow nigger. Yes master I am so greatful. yes I plan to breed with my own kind... Etc Etc... more slap on the face by the human tongue. Oh those Niave Minnesotians! I use t hate them but now as I have matured and seen the world I only feel sorry for them. To be isolated to their small little world. I did meet girls when I went to college. I found out that I wasn't that ugly. (although I fit into the flat face asian catagory). I'm still uncertain how I look compared to other Koreans... average I presume.
I really don't care any more. Then later I joined the Army (yes US Army) and asked to go to Korea. I lost rank to go there... I had to know the who I was and where I came from. I searched previously for four years to find my biological parents but in vain I found nothing. But when I went to Korea... it was a diferent story. I found my biological father! I met my nephews and niece... tiny frail hand with cute angel like faces... I felt that a piece of me was found. Yet I didn't have that wonderful tear spilling reunion that I always dreamed of. My father was neither rich nor wonderful. As an adult I knew I could meet anything from a King to a Hobo. Latter was closer to the truth. But the past doesn't dictate who I am. I traveled around the world , finished my degree, working on another, find success in every imaginable way. Soon ten years passed. I wanted to go to my ten year reunion and meet up with my high school classmates... I never ever got to know them then and I wanted to compare now and see wha they had done with their lives. I couldn't go because I choose to go through Airborne school and learn how to parachute out of planes for the US Army. I don't think it matters that much any more. I see my real friends who have stood by me as I grew up into an adult. I'm sure they are no different. they are balding, gaining tons of weight, having kids and no longer acting out so superior as they once did. One of them may be a well to do executive but most are working at a cashier counter or teaching... hey out of a class of fourty... you can't expect all of them to be Einstein. So in comparrison I have faired much better. because this hard lesson called life has molded me and into a secure person that I never thought I'd become.

be proud to who you are.
race or color doesn't matter.
don't omitt piece of your soul.
Accept how God made you.
Change for the better.
Learn to love those who hurt
Never accept the things they do though.
This is how to live...

Peace to all and if any of this rambeling make sense then drop me a email... I took couple minutes to share.
Jayme Kresten Hansen (Yoon Dong Jin)
hansenarmy@yahoo.com Monday, August 12, 2002 at 01:27:10 (PDT)

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READER COMMENTS

Hey, I stumbled upon this page from google. I grew up in Minnesota, but I'm not asian-american, but I'm polish-american. I know that obviously a lot of things had to have been different between us, but I could definitly relate in some way to your story. I was the 'scrawny', slavic kid from a polak-family. I guess, there are a few parts of the state with polish communities, but there were no other poles where I lived. I didn't feel "American", and I didn't feel "Polish" (my parents didnt speak polish, and never talked about their parents who did, but had died). When I went to highschool in Minneapolis, and made my first group of real friends- russian immigrants, a korean, filipinos. Anyway.. it's great to grow up. :)
steben Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 06:20:22 (PST) [24.118.235.130]

I'm a wf, and have lived in Minnesota all my life. I'm sorry you had a rough time up here. I am also an adopted person, and although I am white, I was teased about it, and never felt like I fit in, either, if you can believe that. I didn't have it so bad, I'm not complaining, but I know that being adopted feels weird at times. At least you know what your heritage is; I don't even know what the heck I am, and have always felt jealous of others and a bit "lost" on account of it.
white adoptee in MN
Monday, August 26, 2002 at 11:38:36 (PDT)

Thank you for sharing your amazing story! You know the old saying, "What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger"? I think it was meant for you.

I agree with Revolutionary that we should be DOING, not just TALKING. It's easy to sit around and post endless, whiny complaints about why no one will date you (see the Gender Divide board, which I finally got sick of) -- It's another thing to actually rise above your adverse surroundings and make yourself a strong and worthy human being.

I think Asian kids should have more role models like you. Northwest Girl
Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 18:42:34 (PDT)

I must say that your story will definately help those who may feel misplaced in America.

Whether they are adopted, mixed, or just confused about being Asian in America, to know that resolution is possible is very uplifting.
Susan - aka Moodangbulae
moodangbulae@yahoo.com Monday, August 19, 2002 at 16:16:28 (PDT)

Hey this is your asian sister, Rose!!!
Isn't this site the best?? Anyways You are true inspiration to many adoptess. When you get out of the army, you should hang with my husband and I in minneapolis. I would love to introduce you to the adopted community in Brooklyn Center area. They would welcome you with open arms!! Anyways keep in touch!

Your asian sister, Rose
totalbodywellness@excite.com
Friday, August 16, 2002 at 20:16:12 (PDT)

Right on brother!!! That's exactly the kind of attitude we need. All of the energy and time wasted on these on-line posts, ranting and raving about how oppressed we are. Now, finally someone's pointed out that instead of TALKING, we should be DOING.
We can waste our time perpetuating hate and suspicion, or we concentrate on ourselves and be descent, moral, upright men that all women (especially our own) will naturally gravitate towards. Revolutionary
Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 02:53:01 (PDT)

Jayme,

Hooaah!! Great story.. Life is like an onion - the more you peel it and get closer to the core, the more you tear. You are not the only one whose life was changed as a result of joining the military.. We all have a purpose in life and it looks like you found yours..

From a Filipino-American Paratrooper Brethren

AIRBORNE all the Way!!
Joel
Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 04:42:30 (PDT)

Dang Jayme,

You're been through a lot my brother, but you've been very brave too. I'm rootin' for ya from California! You're making big strides in your life.
Your Korean American Brotha
Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 02:10:38 (PDT)

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