Shy Lug Hopelessly Fixated on White Girls | Asian Air True Stories

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Shy Lug Hopelessly Fixated on White Girls

'm a 19yr old Chinese Male. Born in China and moved to Canada at age 7. It was those years in Canada that I think was most critical in shaping my personality. Living in a small town where the population was 99% white, I felt alienated.
Anyways, over the four years my english improved drastically and began making more friends. However, I was really self-conscious because I was tall and skinny. I wanted to talk to the girls but just didn't have the courage and once I did it always ended up being friendship. The school was 100% white, so my chances of dating a Chinese girl was nill. But, since I was always around WF, my perception of F beauty was the image of a WF.
In High School (another city) I decided I hated being skinny and started going to the gym in an effort to achieve a better self-image. After 2 years of hard work I managed to build a good physique.
I tried out and made the football team and after some tough months of teasing..because I was the only Asian on the team, I was finally accepeted by my black and white teammates. Being 6'1" and 195lbs I thought I could use that to my advantage and overcome my shyness, but no luck. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get myslef to strike interesting conversations with WF. My main interests were art, computers, architecture, theatre, and the gym. In other words.. I was a big geek who played football. Yet, I could never find a single girl with my commmon interest that was "available". After a while I just gave up and was willing to settle for a girl that showed any interest in me regardless of personality. Well, all I got was all the AF flirting with me. What really depressed me was that I really had no interest in AF. My preference of WF was etched into me since I was a kid. The most depressing thing is that I could walk down the hall and the WF would stare at me with interest and giggle at each other...but never approach me. And me, being the ass that I was, never really had the courage to go and talk to them. All my buddies laughed at that. They tried like hell to loosen me up...but damn it I couldn't overcome the shyness. Worst part of it all was that I find out during the summer before university that I had some substantial admiration from several WF. They were too intimidated by my size and felt I showed no interest in them.
Fast forward to now. I'm in University studying of all things..Engineering. As of now, my "Lady Skills" are severely lacking. I can at least approach girls now and talk to them...but I can never "seal the deal". And between studying, the gym and trying to find a female companion I realize I have only time for 2 of these. Sigh... My friends always want to hit the clubs or go partying (that's where they meet all the girls), but all I want is to spend a nice, quiet evening with a girl watching a movie or walking along the beach and talk about world issues, politics and nerdy stuff..heh..then eat dinner at my place or a restaurant. Is that too much to ask? Do such WF exist? And please..for all the women out there...if you're interested in a guy, for godsakes TELL him! It could be a guy just like me who is too shy to make the first move! This is way too long...
Engineering Geek Monday, October 22, 2001 at 15:07:39 (PDT)

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READER COMMENTS

Tommy Boy
I can call you that since I'm older. I'm also Corean and have about the same stats, I see Corean boys are getting bigger these days, anyway I live on the east coast, you need to get out of Oklahoma. Move young man, east coast or west coast but don't waste your life away in Oklahoma. I've been married twice to hot white gals,still am to the current one. And have dated around 25 white gals in my 30 yrs. Three over 4 yrs each. I'm an envy of my Corean and white friends,hehe. There's no magic formula. They're out there but you have to ask, keep asking. Never take no as personal. Try being more social, I noticed alot of Asian guys are too shy. No one likes a boring person. You can feel the vibe if someone is interested. You'll never gain anything unless you take a chance. Once you move out here, lose the Stetson and the snake skin boots though.
Corean bro Sunday, December 01, 2002 at 19:06:20 (PST) [152.163.189.135]

Hey,
I also feel your pain....except I may have it a bit worse. You see I was born in Seoul, Korea, but my parents moved here to Lawton, Oklahoma of all places. OKLAHOMA!!!!! Anyways, growing up here has drastically shaped my personality. I am hardly "Korean" to say the least. Other than my physical appearance, I have very little "Korean" that shows through my personality. I am a red blooded "Okie" who grew up in Oklahoma. Anyways, growing up in Oklahoma is way different than California or any other big state. Many of the families here are deeply rooted in tradition and do not inter-date with other races. Mainly because many of the white women here want a "Cowboy" so to speak. Not that I'm looking for a cowgirl....far from it! Many of my female friends here have told me flat out that if I was white or any other "light" race, they'd consider me for dating. The only women here who will even consider me are the punk rock skanks that I see at punk shows ect.

I'm 22 years old and I'm getting a 2 separate BA's in Multimedia and Radio / Television. I am also currently in the process of directing a short movie and starting a production company. I'm also 6'1" and weigh 190 pounds. I can draw, create digital art, do photography, play 6 different musical instruments, and play in a rock band. Yet, I find it extremely hard to get any girl to even notice me.
Tom Friday, November 29, 2002 at 02:20:31 (PST) [64.217.14.179]

Asian bro,

I can totally empathize with you. I grew up in Maryland though, where it is pretty ethnically diverse. For some reason, I was also intimidated by white girls. Or maybe I was just intimidated by girls in general. It wasn't until my first real relationship that I loosened up and found that the most important thing is to BE YOURSELF. I think girls appreciate that, and a good sense of humor always helped. I agree with most people here, if you see someone you like, let her know. Otherwise it's a missed opportunity and you may never see her again. Unfortunately that just happened to me at work, where a girl left. But I plan on finding a way to contact her...we played eye tag her whole last day and after she left, I found out it was her last day! Alright, good luck man!
from Maryland Tuesday, November 26, 2002 at 10:03:59 (PST) [67.24.151.138]

Lucky Guy- there's nothing wrong with your height and weight, my b/f is 5'8 and 165 lbs, muscular and toned. I'm 5'4. We're perfect together. I don't consider either of us short, just average height. I'm not attracted to super tall guys anyway (like over 6'2). Hang in there and be proud of who you are!
Bella Monday, November 25, 2002 at 06:49:24 (PST) [207.183.118.60]

What a bummer. I was like you, too shy but no real problem in meeting nice girls who were white. But unlike you, I am odd in the sense that I know girls who go clubbing but I never met them AT THE CLUB. I meet them at school, work, boring wine/cheese gatherings, or shopping. One white gal was a salesperson who helped me buy a pair of jeans. We kept talking between the fitting room door. She gets wild at night but joyful and spritely by day. Few people know about a lot of these perfectly normal girls. If you haven't been looking outside the club world, the sit-down, hang-out types of white women you are looking for are really those who work a full-time job during/after college, settled in their apartment with nobody nice enough to share it with. They are the motivated bunch who'd love to go clubbin if you asked, haha, and tell you which club too! so us AM are trapped either way. We AM must club. hehe Good Luck!
1AM in Marin Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 23:18:07 (PST) [207.173.174.234]

Jeez, If I had a fourth of your traits like being a four inches taller and 20 pounds heavier I could probably date even more girls. With my 5'8 height and 170 pound frame I still can get looks and dates.

My only problem is that I can only date females who are 5'0 to 5'4 at the most. Any taller then it would be like hugging a guy. I like to date girls shorter than me and the 5'0 to 5'4 height is the range I can go for. You should be lucky that you have the height and some of the looks. You can date girls from 5'0 to 5'11 and that can include another few million potential dates. My range narrows my options and also she has to be Attractive, blond, blue-eyed, friendly, nice personality, slim, naturally Busty 38D is the best and not a mindplayer, sensual and not moody. I think there is probably only maybe a few thousand in this country who are like that and if they haven't been hit on by other guys or barefoot and pregnant by the time they reach 14 years of age or maybe they are at the Playboy mansion before Uncle Hugh takes advantage of them. "You want Playmate of the month? Please step into my office jacuzzi."

So you do have it made brother. While you can date more girls than I can because you have the physical traits that white girls like while I can only hope and pray for one to fall into my lap.
Lucky Guy Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 19:51:13 (PST) [64.156.35.53]

Hi, of course such WF do exist! In college a good portion of the people there just want to party, get drunk and go clubbing, but you will find a completely different world once you get out of college and join the workforce. I used to like partying but grew out of it by 22, same with my AM boyfriend. I think both of us are a little geeky, but that's okay. :) He loves computers, and spends hours on his computer every day. I read all the time, big long Russian novels. Our favorite way to spend time together is to have a quiet night at home making dinner together and watching a movie snuggled up under a blanket. While other people our age are out blowing their money on drinking, we're saving up to buy a house. So you see, being geeky has its advantages. :) You sound nice, down to earth, humble and smart, I can think of a dozen WFs that would love to date someone like you. Give yourself more credit. Make a list in your head of the things that you like about yourself, repeat it often in your head, and this will build your confidence. Good luck and go for what you want, you only live once!!
Bella (WF dating AM) :) Monday, November 18, 2002 at 06:42:31 (PST) [207.183.118.60]

Hey shy guy...
Don't despair, there's PLENTY of Asian guys out there who date a ton of white girls. I have a quite a few Asian friends who've dated their fair share of white girls, and don't be under the assumption that all of these guys are all hot or gorgeous. No, some are downright peculiar looking. But more so, these guys, all of them, have charming and out-going personalities. I married an Asian man who dated only white girls, because as he claimed, the Asian girls didn't dig him. I didn't buy that for a minute, what I did buy was that he was very funny, and quite charismatic. I think looks play only a big role, initially when you meet someone, after that, you have to open yourself up and loosen up. Put a smile on your face, tell a few jokes, or just say something funny. You'll be amazed at the response. I dated only white boys my entire life, I'm ashamed to admit that the thought of dating an Asian male never entered my mind (as a teen), but I met my husband in college and my entire world and my entire view of Asian males did a complete 180. I firmly believe that Asian men are the sweetest, most caring and charming of them all. So just go for it and don't call yourself a Geek! I'm sure there's quite a person waiting to bust out of there.
from Cali Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 04:45:08 (PST) [24.126.213.224]

Hmm...I sympathize with you. I have similar conatct issues. However, I am not fixated only on WF. I must admit though, I think I hold AF relative beauty to a higher standard then WFs...which is a bit odd however I have issues in that BOTH AFs and WFs that seem to be the type who would "date" or start a relationship from scratch are the type taht want to go out and party. And I am just not that type of guy. HOwever, I like sports and outdoorsy stuff and most Fs I meet who have those interests are also the ones who like to go and party. And the ones who are more homebodies...are Christian...thus I am screwed either way. In your situation, it looks like your "geek" interests can work to your advantage. Of course, racially narrowing your choices down hurts, but if you want to meet girls with similar interests as what you mention, try look for organizations or clubs at your school that have them. Go to the library as well. And maybe pop in at a party or two...just to see if there are any females there who aren't drunk off their behinds (my personal experience, if there is alcohol, then they are all durnk). That is my advice. Use college and its social life to your advantage.
From hawaii
Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 03:57:36 (PDT)

Hey Engineering Geek,

Let me introduce myself... I don't know if you will ever even read this but I am a WF...(we're the same age-20) And everything you like is incredible!! I am into computers myself and love art and reading... etc. If I am like that I am sure there are other girls like me too. And don't call yourself a geek! You seem to be an intelligent good looking guy... who is more into intellectual topics and trust me; many girls out there are looking for a smart sexy man like yourself! I have turned down football players before... even if they were good looking they were never smart enough for me! So don't give up.

To summarise, you have a rich cultural background, a nice build and most importantly brains! Just juice up the confidence a bit and girls will FLOCK to you!! Good luck :) And quiet romantic evenings are the best! ^.^
/seRial cRack/
Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 21:06:37 (PDT)

Trust me dude, I know how you feel. Been there, done it and still doing it!! It is getting better as I get older though. When I was younger, my friends use to tease me like hell because of it and they still do occasionally. I mean sometimes I still act like a dork around girls. My best advice to you: remember that girls are naturally scared of guys than it is the other way around, especially of a guy like you. So take advantage of it! Also, talk to as many random people as you can. Stike up conversations with complete strangers that you see at school, at the book store, at the gym, etc.. By doing this, you'll gain confidence, build up your charm, and fine tune your "talk".
Nam
Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 21:46:38 (PDT)

Hey Shy Chinese Lug,

You have a nice package already> (Being 6'1" & 195#) What do you worry about? Don't just sit there and wait for WFs to make the moves. You should make the move 1st. As you already pointed out, some WFs gave you "eyes" while you were walking down the hall. Try to be their friends first. Show that you are interested in her by complimenting their looks and hairdoes. Move on one step at a time. Don't be scared.
FOP
Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 12:21:53 (PDT)