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Taekwondo Student's Affair with Master

artial Arts has always been a way to release all of the pinned up energy inside of me. It has always taught me balance, discipline and structure. I have been in many many tournament nationwide, and travelled to Korea to represent our dojang. I have won very many grand championship trophies 1rst place .. but winning 1rst place was not the most important thing to me .. I have been taking it for some years now, and have felt the dojang was a part of my family .. my heartbeat. But something changed everything. My grandmaster is a very well known, and well respected man. He is my senior by age and by wisdom. I have always admired him, and looked at him as a father figure. He is married, has children much older than me, and has grandchildren. My biggest mistake was sleeping with him. I should have never gone that far with him. When he approached me for the very first time, telling me that he cared so much for me .. telling me how young, strong and beautiful I was in his eyes .. it did something to me on the inside. We continued to sleep together at almost every opportunity, at almost every occasion. I began to feel very guilty when his grandson or wife would call on the telephone, if we were in his office .. it felt like I was stealing him away from them, or like I was doing something so wrong. He would tell me that his wife was not giving him sex, and that she wasn't beautiful and young like me. I began to notice my grandmaster began to treat me different in front of others, but behind closed doors .. he treated me as his lover. In front of everyone, he would be extra hard on me in sparring and in other things. He would always ask me,"Have you been good girl?" and then he would say,"I don't believe you." He told me never to tell anyone about this, as it would bring shame upon his name and the dojang. He told me that we could never truly be together, because he is a korean man and I am not(my father is Lebanese/my mother is Hispanic)and because of the huge age difference .. something like almost a 30 year gap. Whenever I was with him, he made me feel so protected and loved .. and as though what we had was so special. He said we can only do this in privacy, and that it was special what we had together. I had began to fall for him, and was getting hurt by it. He has tried giving me money, nice televisions, rent, credit cards, a car (along with the insurance and everything) cell phone, clothes etc.. Even plane tickets to Korea, Spain, Japan and Italy (I did not want to mention the trips to anyone. But it is embarrassing yet very true) It began to feel like he was doing it to keep me quiet. During all of this, I had a boyfriend who lived away. I think that I was doubting our relationship at some point. Due to our circumstance ..My boyfriend and I worked things through with each other. We have become much closer, and have a bigger understanding of what our relationship should be .. so things are solid between us. My boyfriend has been practicing Kung Fu for many many years, and wants me to stop taking taekwondo. I feel torn, because I love the taekwondo technique and I have grown attached to the dojang. I feel at the same time that I do not want to be in this position anymore with my grandmaster. Some have suggested that I leave the Dojang. I feel like this will probably be best for me. It is very painful for me, but it has to be done.
behind closed doors
Friday, August 23, 2002 at 08:21:39 (PDT)


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GOLDSEA | YOUR TRUE STORIES

[NOTE TO READERS: This page is closed to new input. You can post new true stories and continue discussions at the new improved Instant Polls & Comments area. --Ed.]

READER COMMENTS

comment to behind closed doors I read this story and was shocked. I didn't know that grandmasters had affairs with students. I guess its true in any teacher/student situation that can take place. I feel so sorry for you. I hope that you are doing okay right now. I know you must be going through alot of hurt in your heart.
East Timor girl    Eastern Timor Monday, November 04, 2002 at 07:41:59 (PST)    [152.163.189.135]
To Chung Hoi,

"Behind closed doors" is justified in being troubled over the relationship. The TKD master is the problem, not her. By the way, you aren't the TKD master, are you? "behind" is being loyal to her true feelings. She is finally realizing that the relationship is not good for her emotional well-being. Who are you to say what her true feelings are?
Being in several sexual relationships does not have to be a fact of life. It's a choice. If that's how you live your life, that's your choice, but don't impose it on others.
js    Monday, September 23, 2002 at 11:04:24 (PDT)    [63.199.243.211]
Behind Closed Doors,

Don't wait for him to just get tired and give up. You have to stand up to him and tell him you don't want to see him anymore, and you expect the phone calls and the stalking to end, or else you'll call the police. Don't leave any question in his mind. If he doubts your resolve, then he'll keep coming back. Even if he stops for awhile, he'll eventually come back -- unless you tell him in no uncertain terms that it's over.

I would think that it is hard for you to stand up to this person who has loomed so large for you. But stand up to him you must! By saying you hope he gets tired and just goes away, you're leaving the power over your relationship -- over your life and comfort -- in his hands. YOU have got to take the power and say to him, "No more."

If you can't do this, then what has Taekwondo really taught you?

Good luck!
Pokey    Saturday, September 14, 2002 at 09:24:13 (PDT)    [216.244.19.5]

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