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BROTHERLY ADVICE FOR ASIAN WOMEN
Me? I love women with bobbed or even cropped hair. Short hair is sleek, confident, aesthetic, calling attention to the exquisite, sexy lines of a woman's neck and shoulders. I do draw the line at buzzcuts, Mohawks and shaved heads, however. Those kinds of dos are too obviously meant to make some kind of a statement. Probably not a statement I need to hear. GO ON A LOW-FAD DIET AND LOSE THE HIP We Asian Americans are sometimes seen by the most cretinous of our fellow countrymen as out-of-it newcomers. It's annoying, sure, especially when we know they're judging us by spurious standards we choose to disregard. But what's even more annoying are the Asian Americans forever up on their tippy-toes trying to show how hip they are to every fad that hits the streets or the airwaves. Worse yet, if they see a fellow Asian American on a low-fad-diet, they join in denouncing him as being "out of it". To an Asian American Fad Nazi, a carefully cultivated ignorance of the names of the current crop of TV talents appears as a shameful of betrayal of some sacred duty to be "American". Yup, in the terminal hip department Asian American women take the cake. They are caught up in the relentless pursuit of a level of hip that no one who leads a normally productive life can -- or would want to -- keep up. Their utter enslavement to the tyranny of fads is all the more damaging because they are as passionate about staying ignorant of the truly important developments as they are about absorbing every trivial fad. Do yourselves a huge favor and remember that these media-hyped fads and personalities will be forgotten in a few short years. On the other hand, the truly significant social, cultural, technological and economic changes you so blithely scorn will, in the same span of time, produce permanent changes that could make you utterly irrelevant. As in out of it. The internet is an example of a trend that caught the ditzes completely unaware. Many find themselves looking to get hired by those low-fad geeks they once shunned for wearing the wrong shirts or not knowing the names of some sitcom actor. SEE WITH YOUR OWN EYES This is closely related to the immediately preceding piece of advice. Hell bent on keeping up with every fad that comes out of their TV sets and magazines, too many Asian American women seem to lose the ability to see with their own eyes, form their own judgments. Notably as it relates to Asian American men. Tipped off by the white-controlled media that -- wink, wink -- Asian men are losers, many Asian American women assume that their salvation lies in blindly following the petty dictates of the media gods. True, the sickness of blindly enslaving themselves to the whims of that garish and heartless tyrant, the Amerian media, afflicts mainly the less educated segment of the Asian American female population. But there are enough of them to make Whites suspect all Asian Americans of being wannabes. As in imitation Whites. As in second class. |
The cure for this peculiar media-drunk blindness is to stare squarely in the mirror for as long as it takes to see the madness of trying to will away one's own self. Unfortunately, many of the blind go through their formative years without ever having done this. Some come to their senses when they give birth and eventually recognize themselves in the pained confusion of their kids' eyes. But of course by then it's practically too late, not only for them -- and sadly, for their kids -- but also for their unfortunate spouses who secretly thought they were getting a bargain in marrying a truly self-less woman. But, as many white spouses discover to their dismay, a personality in nuclear decay throws off radioactive fallout that burns everyone in its immediate vicinity. Does that sound kooky to some of you? You're exactly the ones I'm writing this for. All I'm saying is, you have those eyes for a reason. Learn to love them. Learn to use them.
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