...when they light up, the smokers in your family start looking like Marlene Dietrich.
by Peter & Michael Choi

iles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors. tell your parents you need to buy glue for school and they reply, use rice!"

...your relative's houses smells like incense, mothballs or both.
"...your main source of income is New Year's"

...your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.

...your parents have never heard of Tulane, Duke or University of Minnesota. have a 40-lb. bag of rice in your pantry.

...people see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate. bring home all A's and one B and your folks yell, "Why did you get a B?

...people always ask if you know this other Asian acquaintence of theirs, i.e. "My dentist is Dr. Dennis Choi, do you know him?"

...your parents' leisure wear always look like golf clothes.

...your main source of income is New Year's.

...failing a class means finding a new place to live.

...your parents yell your Asian name REAL LOUD in public places. ...ramen is the fifth food group. have to translate for your parents when ordering fast food.

...there's a good chance you'll marry someone with the same last name.'re on a first-name basis at the Hello Kitty store.

...if you're not smiling, people always think that you are mad.


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