I know I'll get flamed for this and I'm sure that there are good-looking white females who have Asian boyfriends but while I was growing up, the few white girls who were dating Asian men were for the most part UGH!

I had some confidence issues but though I wanted a white GF, I wasn't about to take just anyone. In Korea, I did see a few Korean guys who had good-looking white girlfriends, but they were a minority.

Anyone else care to comment on this issue?

Well as a WF dating an AM I'm offended by your comment. I am far from an "ogre". I am thin, well-dressed and walk with confidence. The two WF's I know that are married to AM's are good-looking as well.

nonnymouse:

Well, it seems to me that white females tend to stay away from Asian males. It's more like the other way around,.....seeing many Asian girls date White males.

I bet you, that if an Asian males were to ask a white female out on a date, he would get rejected immediately.

No, WF's are not usually ogres in a WF/AM relationship. I have a cousin and a brother who both married European-American females (I use that term so that nobody is offended). Both women are attractive and very highly educated; both have at least a Master's degree.

Hot Kimchee, I think in general most people date/marry within their race, whether it's white, black, asian, hispanic- it's just what people find comfortable, or they never think to date outside their race. I'm sure there are a lot of prejudiced white women that look down on non-white men. But there are also a lot of us that do not. Have you ever asked out a white woman, or other non-asian woman? I used to think that asian men only dated asian women, and wouldn't find me attractive, until my boyfriend asked me out. And yes, I see the disparty all the time too- I see lots and lots of AF/WM couples and I think in the past year I've seen 2 other AM/WF couples.. In my opinion there definitely is a gender divide.

I think what hotkimchee is trying to point is that a hot* or even average* WF dating an AM is very slim, not impossible, but very slim.(if I'm wrong HotKimChee, please correct me )

From my point of view, I'm a average AM(rate myself as 5-7) the chances of me getting to even date an WF is slim. damn it, I think suffering from inferiority complex . j/k. Anyway the standard of beauty in the western hemisphere is White, most teenage girls growing up dreaming of WM to sweep them of their feets, not and AM. As I mention below things are changing.

I have a friend who is currently dating a WF, I haven't seen her yet, but from growing with him in high school he's a pretty picky guy.

*sorry if offended any white females by categorizing them as hot or average, it was just to prove a point.

Hey y3mii, don't sell yourself short. I bet you're a lot more attractive than you give yourself credit for. Don't let media-enforced white standards of attractiveness tell you how you should or shouldn't look. Most of all I think that women find CONFIDENCE attractive; I know that I do.

I belong to an online discussion group that is devoted to AM/WF relationships, either dating or married. They are really really nice people, and they are all really attractive, both the guys and girls!

Yo,

I never said ALL WF who dated AM were ogres, but quite a few of them are. So I never said YOU were an ogre but I stand by my original point that many AM do date ogres. In other words, we'll never get the Cindy Crawfords and such.

That said, I'm glad you are happy with your AM.

I dunno, physically speaking, the white girls I've dated were all cute and hot with hot bodies. Haven't dated any "white ogres" personally.

I don't plan to sell myself short for anyone. I'm just average guy who plans to rule the world , just kidding. Finding a girls is tough in L.A.

nonnymouse,

Quote:
I belong to an online discussion group that is devoted to AM/WF relationships, either dating or married. They are really really nice people, and they are all really attractive, both the guys and girls!

what online disccussion is this? forum?

It's a yahoo members-only kind of group, very small. Most of the people in the group are married and have kids, and they all seem very happy. They have pictures posted, and I can tell you that the WFs are no ogres! I think that most of them are gorgeous couples.

Actually if you go to google and type in "Asian Men and White Women" you pull up a ton of sites devoted to this type of relationship, most of them are dating sites.

Let me say I grew up around an area where very few AM dated WF (though I'm sure it's changed since I haven't lived there in nine years). I was ridiculed because I was Asian and thus I have this scar about WF since.

But I'm now in LA and things could change...

nonnymouse - so just curious then. Did you and the other non-AFs in your group seek out AM (and if so, for what reasons?) or just happened to fall for guys that happened to be Azn?

And if it's too personal maybe you could pm or email me.

nonnymouse:

<<But there are also a lot of us that do not. Have you ever asked out a white woman, or other non-asian woman?>>

To be frank, I have experienced cold shoulders from WF. However, I am great to see that there are WF like you who are open minded. And I also want to add, that this WF/AM couple phenomenon, depends on what part of the US you live in.
For example, the WF in Seattle, tend to be tolerant towards AM. My friend in Seattle, an AM, is currently dating a WF.
But in other parts of the country, such as Los Angeles, DC, Atlanta, Houston, where either white people are the majority, or ethnic groups are segregated (LA), then it's hard to find AM/WF couples.

-----------

y3miii:

<< I think what hotkimchee is trying to point is that a hot* or even average* WF dating an AM is very slim, not impossible, but very slim.>>


Yes , that's what I was trying to say. But as I've pointed out in my message above to nonnymouse, I think it depends on what part of the country you live in.
Some places are white majority, and they tend to not like other races. Some places are tolerant towards Asians, because their cultural influence is big, or it's just the cordiality that the folks carry with them.

And true, like you said, the chances of a very hot WF dating an AM is very small. Take for example,....go to a nightclub in Texas where the whites are the majority. The hot white chics there don't even look at Asian male customers. I really don't know......I've just heard these stories from a friend attending college in Houston.

y3mii:


<<
Finding a girls is tough in L.A>>

Oh my goodness! I should have read your later comments.

This is f--king true!

krome, as for myself, my boyfriend asked me out for a date, I said yes because I thought he was cute and smart, we went out and fell in love and have been happy together ever since. I never sought out anyone in particular, I never restricted myself to anyone race, and no I don't have an Asian fetish. though I do find a lot of Asian men very attractive, not all but a lot. I have dated white men, black men, and asian men in the past.

The other people on the board, I'm not sure, I think it was the same thing- they just started dating and fell in love. None of the women seem to me to be obsessed with Asian guys or fetishists or anything, and none of the men strike me as "I want to date a white girl because they're better than asian girls" or because she's some kind of tropy. Honestly a lot of them sound like true love.

I'm sorry to hear that you've gotten the cold shoulder from some WF's, I've certainly known a lot of bitchy, snobby, arrogant, WF's and women of other races as well. Some WFs just want to date WM's, nothing wrong with that, that's their choice. (I personally feel they're missing out on not dating AM's). But I think it does depend on where you live.

I've actually heard that some white chicks go to K-town in LA looking to hook up with Korean guys. I just sort of wonder about those types who go looking for an ethnic type rather than an individual.

Then again, there are a lot of female Vanilla Rice types in Japan and other parts of Asia (the ones who go to Korea are usually Wyldebeasts).

Pete:

<<I've actually heard that some white chicks go to K-town in LA looking to hook up with Korean guys>>

This is the first time I've heard of this. I hate to say this, but I hope you're not talking about the wf hookers who linger around K-town. Those animals are ugly and nasty looking.

I still think dating between AM's and WF's depend on locality in the US. Like I said, WF's in Texas, are less likely to date AM's. Whereas if you (an AM) were to go to Seattle where Asians make up 13% of the population, then there will be some tolerant WF's there. But heck, there are many tolerant WF's out there in any state....just gotta have the luck to find them if God permits you to have that kind of destiny .

Peter07 and Hotkimchee,

You guys are either a truly pathetic pair or are a couple of trolls trying to knock AM/WF relationships.

Where in hell do you guys live -- in the slums? Have you even been to college? Have you been to the westside of L.A. or Manhattan or SF or San Jose? If you're looking at the people in their 20s and 30s, there are more good-looking WF dating AM than there are good-looking AF dating WM. Just yesterday while I was having lunch, I happened to see two hot-looking WF (both blondes btw) in the same restaurant with two well-dressed (but not necessarily handsome) AMs. I didn't see any AF with WMs there. Probably because I was in a professional district that has a lot of successful AM.

Sure, if you gusy are a couple of lowlifes, you are probably not going to see many decent chicks of any race where you hang out. Just get your heads out of your behinds and smell the roses!

Actually I find the title of this topic offensive and think the eds should delete this whole topic or change it to something less offensive.

Wung,

We appreciate your reporting this link. The topic title is somewhat offensive and the topic itself appears to be kept alive by two posters who seem committed to undercutting WF who have an interest in AM. We will change the topic title to something less offensive.

On the other hand, I see plenty of Azn guys dating "ugly" AFs, so why isn't that a topic?

Wung:

<<Where in hell do you guys live -- in the slums? Have you even been to college? >>

I think what both Hotkimchee and Peter07 was getting at is that depending on where you live in the US, determines whether a white girl will even sleep with an AM. Trust me, I live in Dallas Texas area, and the hot white chics there ONLY date white guys.

San Jose California is a place with lots of Asians. Of course, there is a better probability of seeing an AM-WF couple! But if you were to go to Boston, Texas, Alabama, Georgia, Virginia.....no such a phenomenon as AM-WF couples.

First, of all, these guys were just using every opportunity to slam the WF who are with AM.
Secondly, it isn't true that there are no AM/WF couples in Virginia, Louisiana, Texas, etc. I've seen plenty of AMWF in Virginia/DC. In fact, as I recall, the late Hannybunbun and her friends who are with AM are from the Virginia/D.C. area. Anyway, I've seen quite a few AM/WF couples in Georgetown, at UVA when I was visiting and plenty also in Houston, San Antonio and even one or two in Austin.

Have you actually been to these places? Or are you just making assumptions like these other two losers?

Wung,

Ever not call someone who doesn't agree with you a loser? I never said I was against AM/WF relationships, I just said from my experience, a lot of the WF weren't that hot. And no, I didn't live in a slum and I'm college-educated, thank you.

And well, not all of us AM have had positive experiences with white women (but according to you, anyone who doesn't is a loser, right?). Try not to be so self-righteous.

Take a breath, dude.

Ed,

You missed the point, too. I never said all WF who date AM are Wyldebeasts. Sheesh.

Peter 07,

Chill, dude. I didn't say you were some little pasty-faced weasel with an axe to grind against WF dating AM either. And I also didn't say you're probably some sneaky little white guy threatened by Asian men either, did I?

*Or are you just making assumptions like these other two losers?

Well, you did call me and HotKimchee a loser. And I'm glad YOU'VE had positive experiences with WF but that hasn't been the case for all AM.

Have a nice day.

Wungy:

<<Secondly, it isn't true that there are no AM/WF couples in Virginia, Louisiana, Texas, etc. I've seen plenty of AMWF in Virginia/DC. >>

Oh really? That's great that you have all the time in the world to go hunting in the Virginia and DC suburbs for AM-WF couples.

And it DOES matter which city you live in. Darn it...listen to me!
What I'm trying to drill into your head, is that WF are less likely to accept an AM, compared to WM who accepts any AF.

Jeilhot kimchi,

What do you do, go around asking hundreds of WF if they will accept you? I suspect you're more the kind of guy who'se too scared to approach anyone. Talk to me when you have approached at least 20 WF. You are held back by your own fears, son, not by the reception WF give to AM. I am a professional man in my 30s who travels frequently on business. I see the professional crowds is most major metro areas in the course of every 3-4 months. So I know whereof I speak. Timid guys like you and peter07 are making us AM look bad.

Here are my stats: During the past 15 years, i have probably approached about 120 women. About half have been WF, the other half have been Asian, with a few Hispanics and blacks and mideastern women. My batting average (i.e. women who have gone out with me) is about like this: Asian women: .380, White women: .400, Latinas (sampling of 3) .333, Black women (2): 1.000, mideastern women: (3) .667.

Now run along and grow a pair before you come back here. Also your chances will improve after you lose your teen acne and your voice isn't cracking.

I think that it's like anything else: If the man is very attractive, then he's likely to get a "hottie" of any race--and vise-versa.

If one sees a homely man with a "hot-looking" woman, then there's something else in the mix, such as fame, power, money, brains, etc. Again, that is independent of race.

There's an exceptionally beautiful White woman in my ceramics class whom I've (for the brief time that I've known her) ONLY seen paired with Asian or Eurasian men of average looks. I know her fairly well, (and I've spoken with her guy friends long enough to get a good idea of what they're "about") so my opinion is that she's mostly attracted to intellect. In our current society, only Asians, Jews, and the upper-class (non-Jewish) Whites don't behave as if being an intellectual is "elitist"; so that's probably what explains her attraction to such men.

That much having been said, I think that there are some men who consider going with White women to be a form of "social climbing" that's known as "dating up". Now, Asians-in-general are NOT a part of the "underclass", so there would be no reason for most to consider dating a White woman to be "dating up".

However, I've noticed, among those underclass men who DO date White women to "date up", that they're willing to date women whom the average White man would find unattractive--such as fat women. I get "hit on" by underclass men constantly, and I'm sure that it's because they're assuming that because I'm fat that I'm "desperate" for a date and that I'd therefore be willing to "date down". (I'm NOT. I'm very picky, actually!)

Wung,

Again, you start name calling whenever someone disagrees with you. I'd advise that you attack the argument rather than the person; makes you look weak, dude.

Seriously, get a grip.

Peter07:

Thank you for telling Wung that. I think he needs to cut down on his time sitting in front of the computer.

Wungy:

<<Asian women: .380, White women: .400, Latinas (sampling of 3) .333, Black women (2): 1.000, mideastern women: (3) .667.>>

I am so proud of you that you're purchasing Viagra online. Good for you....hope you improve your batting average in the future!

"In our current society, only Asians, Jews, and the upper-class (non-Jewish) Whites don't behave as if being an intellectual is "elitist"; so that's probably what explains her attraction to such men"

Cyn I just have to say I love how you lay it on the line and don't beat around the bush. You're not PC, and that is SO refreshing.

I grew up in a poor neighborhood and went to public school for most of my education, and being smart and intellectual and actually enjoying learning made me a freak and an outcast. I like dating men with a brain. That may be part of the reason that I tend to be attracted to Asian men.

Hmm, I'd like to add that I just spent nine years in the motherland (Korea) and I've found that while many Asians get advanced degrees, quite a few aren't that intellectual. Koreans study English to death yet their TOEFL and TOEIC scores are the worst along with the Japanese. And engineers with only bachelor degrees tell me their Korean counterparts, some with graduate degrees, lack some basic knowledge on engineering and such.

I'm digressing so I'll get back to the point. I do understand to a point why most white women are not attracted to Asian men - on average, we're not the tallest nor sexiest guys out there. But it's good to find women who actually look beyond looks.

I wouldn't call myself a supermodel, but I wouldn't consider myself unattractive, either, and I am most attracted to Asian men. Why can't we realize that everyone has their preferences, whether "hot" or "not"?

"I do understand to a point why most white women are not attracted to Asian men - on average, we're not the tallest nor sexiest guys out there. But it's good to find women who actually look beyond looks."

What?!? I was attracted to my boyfriend right away, both his looks and personality, and that's why I dated him. I wouldn't date someone I wasn't attracted to, and I don't think most people would either. Who cares if you're not tall? My boyfriend is 5'8 and that's tall enough for me. I wouldn't want to date a guy who was a foot taller than me. As for sexy- there are TONS of sexy asian guys. Don't sell yourselves so short!!

Nonnymouse:

I am glad to hear that you are an open minded wf. However, I think it has to do with where you live in the US.

I have lived in Texas and currently living in LA. In Texas, when an Asian male goes to a nightclub, all the hot girls stay with the hot white males. It's true,...you should check it out.

Even in an Asian multitude city like LA, there is still segregation. To be frank, I don't recommend any body with a great personality to live in LA. People here are fake, racist, and highly self-centered.
For example nonnymouse, I sat near a white girl in my discussion class last semester. I told her hi, and tried to be cool. But she gave me a weird look, got up, and walked to the back of the room. WTF!!

Anyhows, I know my hometown has wf's who are pretty and tolerant. I don't know if you're from there, but I really can't wait to get back home.

"To be frank, I don't recommend any body with a great personality to live in LA. People here are fake, racist, and highly self-centered.
For example nonnymouse, I sat near a white girl in my discussion class last semester. I told her hi, and tried to be cool. But she gave me a weird look, got up, and walked to the back of the room. WTF!!

Anyhows, I know my hometown has wf's who are pretty and tolerant. I don't know if you're from there, but I really can't wait to get back home."

Hi, I've also heard the same thing about L.A., that people there are pretty fake and only care about appearances. What that girl in class did was pretty rude, i mean if she didn't feel like talking she could have just politely smiled and looked away. Oh well, don't let it get you down.

Where are you from? I live on the East Coast.

come'on people when bashing people in L.A, please don't generalize. I live in L.A, and yes, I even jump on the band wagon to work on outside appearance. But, hey I care about a lot ot thing then just the appearance.

I also a notice a lot of people in L.A live in a the American/hollywood bubble life all they care about is themself.

So please, stop don't generalize u could use a lot or most

Nonnymouse:

<<Hi, I've also heard the same thing about L.A., that people there are pretty fake and only care about appearances.>>

Hi, I am glad that you do know about the LA wickedness. Sorry y3mii, but I have lived here for 4 years, and am sick of the lifestyle here.

Anyhows nonnymouse, I do agree with you that AM-WF couples are visible in other parts of the country. It's just that I haven't been to the east coast for a loooong time. I don't know what part of the east coast you're from, but I use to live in New Jersey. But yeah, people on the east coast (despite the fact that west coast folks are suppose to be laid back) are more tolerant with interracial marriage.

As I've mentioned with geographic locations in the US, I have heard from a white friend of mine who's from Alabama, that interracial marriage down there is considered a horrible act.

i don't think thats the case, i've seen plenty of "average" asian dudes with pretty hot white women, heck i've been one of them and i grew up in wisconsin, so bite on that! its not necessarily the way you look, its the way you present yourself. if you walk up to a woman thinking like a looser i'm sure they can sense it too!

zilla

Why do you say that WF's with AM's are less attractive? I've seen hot WF's with not so attractive BM's (anyone seen supermodel Adrianna Skelironova (sp?) husband -- the "Java" man?), HM's and AM's. I think beauty is subjective and what you find attractive may not be so with other red hot blooded males. For instance I don't think Cindy Crawford or Britney Spears is hot although I can see why they (especially the former) are considered really beautiful.

On the topic of location: I'd have to agree with the poster who said that where you live can have a bearing upon how WF's see you. I know many AM's who have travelled to Europe and say there was a 'marked' difference between WF's from America and WF's/LF's from Europe.

Hmm, I wonder about how European women treat Asian men. I have met many ethnic Koreans who were adopted by European couples, and the consensus is that Europe is a LOT worse for Asian men than the US.

Peter:

Why do you say that European females are worse than wf's in America?

No, I never said Euro females are worse. I meant living in Europe was worse, since the families the Koreans are adopted into are usually stable and oftentimes financially well off, but the rest of the society isn't that accepting (unless you are an Asian female).

I grew up in North America but have spent most of my adult life in Europe. Here are some of my observations regarding some of the questions above:

- Looks, hipness etc count as everywhere, but that's unsurprising.
- Europeans are less money-oriented than americans, but of course that is changing.
- Asian stereotypes are easier to break in Europe via personal contact than in America because there are fewer asians in Europe.
- Culture matters much more in Europe than in america.
- Linguistic ability is crucial for social integration/success.
- There is less social mobility in Europe.

More specifically:
- As everywhere, asian women (especially if attractive) will not have a difficult time in Europe, but I should add that, unlike the U.S., there is not a visible well-educated Asian elite in Europe. Outside of Great Britain, Europeans are not as cosmopolitan as believed. So many Europeans' only experience with asian women are those of an, ahem, transactional nature (I'm not joking).
- Is Europe "worse" for asian men than America? Definitely no, if you grew up here. Asian males growing up in Europe experience comparatively little racism - that seems to be the case in North America only if one grew up in a fairly cosmopolitan area such as Cal, East Coast etc. The perception will be yes if one is not culturally integrated in Europe. On the other hand, I would say that one has a better chance to develop and advance in North America than in Europe, because America is more meritocratic than Europe (i.e. if you have talent, you can very likely do something productive with it, regardless of who you are). As for WF and AM's, generally, dating, friendship and so on between the sexes is more casual in Europe than in North America. So if one can carry intelligent conversation, participate in cultural life etc, one's chances in Europe are certainly no worse than in North America.
- I voted with my feet. I've had a lot of european girlfriends and (fewer) asian ones. I can only say that the european women have been very kind to me. On the other hand I had an absolutely gorgeous gf of asian background before I came here, but no (serious) WF gfs beforehand. Now the scales are tipped entirely in the opposite direction. As for the attractiveness of the (my) "WF"s: objectively, they ranged from average to WTF-is-this-beautiful-creature-doing -with-me. Subjectively, I found them all very attractive

"As for the attractiveness of the (my) "WF"s: objectively, they ranged from average to WTF-is-this-beautiful-creature-doing -with-me. Subjectively, I found them all very attractive "

Too funny!!

If you wanna check out an extremely beautiful WF married to a handsome AM, then click on the link below. Her name is Monica Chang and she is a fitness model/competitor/actress. I think she is so hot!!!
Hot WF

vietguy,

Well, good for T.C. & Monica Chang! I hope that there will be more AM/WF or, for that matter, more AM/non-AF dating/mating pairs to dispel all these misconceptions and prejudices regarding AMs' worthiness or qualifications to be partners in various aspects. I just want to stress that AMs are, at least, no more or no less qualified to carry on meaningful romantic relationships with the ladies of any ethnicity, generally speaking. On the individual basis, it's another matter, of course, since it depends on the particular AM. In any case, the sooner and more the non-AFs are not influenced by the unfair, general stereotypes damaging to the AMs as a whole, the more they'll be willing to, at least, consider AMs as just as good candidates for dating/mating for their own, different, personal standards without feeling so much undue anxiety or ambivalence that they would otherwise feel less towards non-AMs due to the social stigmatization still associated with pairing with AMs. Within a broad context, the burden of proof, if you will, rests mostly with the WFs, not with the AMs for the IR relationships between the two group, IMHO.

Monica Chang sure loooookss HOT!!! she and her Asian male husband looks soooo cute together and so are the 2 kids they had.