As Asian-Americans, many of us were either born here or moved here as children and were raised most of our lives in America, so it's safe to say most of us are pretty thoroughly Americanized. However, our very recent roots to Asia and Asian cultures makes us acutely aware of the differences in Asian and American cultures. Many AAs regard Asian culture as something good, to be preserved as much as possible into the next generation. But is there any aspects of American culture that you'd rather see integrated into the value structure of AAs? Are there any aspects of Asian culture you'd rather see fall by the wayside in our new homeland?

Let me first admit to being rather simplistic and general about my opinion, so I welcome corrections from those who have better knowledge on this matter.

Almost all AAs are probably from the cultures stressing the Confuscian values - a part of which is the strict hierarchy based on age. Respecting the elders is a good social custom, but sometimes it discourages or, even, forbids one to speak up and disagree with one's elders even in situations where it is justified to do so. Doing so can be interpreted as being disrespectful. Which means, the more individualistic culture of the U.S. that encurages one to voice one's views and opinions to others, regrdless of their age, should be adopted by AAs, so that dissenting opinions can be heard and opposing ideas which actually may be better ideas can be presented.

Any lingering excessive Asian male chauvinisms (again, based partly on the Confuscian values) really have no place in this society.

One aspect of Asian culture which I guess can cut both ways is the duty to family.

Again, just as outofeast said, it is a generalization - but I seem to have noticed that most AAs have a profound sense of duty to help out family members, even those not in their nuclear family. I personally could never turn my back on a (close) family member who asked for my help, financial and otherwise. However, many of my American co-workers seem to have only tolerant relationships with their siblings, and most have enstrangements with their paretns.

The reason I say it can cut both ways is, on the one hand, our culture of helping one another out ensures that no one will be left out in the cold, to muddle through life on their own devices. This is especially important for the members of our families who are less talented or fortunate than we. In American culture, abandoning a family that seems to drag you down is not only accepted, it is celebrated - as in the stories of kids who leave an abusive home and go on to college and a good job and life. Also, dropping a family member who is no longer productive or convenient seems the norm. I personally could never imagine putting my parents in a nursing home - in high school I vvisited one, and it was one of the most depressing things I've ever experienced.

BasinBictory,

What you said is precisely the reason why the concept of government social welfare programs for the poor or elderly is still either more of an exception than the rule or not as prevalent in much of Asia.

outofeast,

Hmmm, you brought up a thought-provoking idea:

Is the social welfare infrastructure we have in place in the United States a reflection of American individualism, where family is not as valued as personal attainment? Or is the current state of our society, where individualism reigns supreme, and the idea of duty to one's family is ridiculed, a result of the welfare state as instituted by FDR, and expanded by LBJ?

I would tend to think it is a combination of both. Before the Depression, the down and out usually got their assistance from family members, or privately-run charity organizations, usually churches and such. There was far less homelessness than there is now (although the inhabitants of the 1930's Hoovervilles would today be classed as homeless). However, the Great Depression put such an enormous strain on the charities, that most simply didn't have the resources to keep up with demand. The government stepped in to stem the tide, but unfortunately, once it was stanched, the welfare system kept on going, and going and going - making staying on the government's dime every bit or more attractive than trying to make it on your own.

One of the positives of US culture that I admire that kinda goes along the lines of what OUTOFEAST mention is standing up for one self, being self confident, and being assertive. How many of you fellow Asians have been told as a kid growing up in America by their parents to not cause any trouble in school? If someone wrong you or disrepected you in anyway, to just turn the other cheek and be quiet about it? That you're not as big and strong as those Americans, so don't bother competing or fighting against? That anything outside of scholastic pursuits would get you no where and is a waste of time?
It's time for a change people, it's time to raise our Asian American children better.

To follow up what vietguy said, I want to add that more AA parents should let their children pursue their career interests in whatever fields and support them as much as possible. The AA children should be decently educated, and preferably in a well-rounded manner, but, then, they should not be forced to major or excel in specific fields like engineering and science, unless they have aptitutdes, desires, and motivations to do so. Also, I hope the younger AA generations would be more self-assured and follow their career aspirations, even if it means speaking up and disagreeing with their parents' different wishes and expectations. Unless their families' financial circumstances force them to do so, if they have the choice to do so, they should live their lives as they themselves wish, not necessarily how their parents wish.

vietguy,

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That anything outside of scholastic pursuits would get you no where and is a waste of time? It's time for a change people, it's time to raise our Asian American children better.

I concur with you. More AA parents should let their children follow their career aspirations and more AA children should let their aspirations be known to their parents and stand by these.

[QUOTE]How many of you fellow Asians have been told as a kid growing up in America by their parents to not cause any trouble in school? If someone wrong you or disrepected you in anyway, to just turn the other cheek and be quiet about it? That you're not as big and strong as those Americans, so don't bother competing or fighting against? That anything outside of scholastic pursuits would get you no where and is a waste of time?


Gosh, vietguy, when I read that, it hit me like a kick in the stomach. That is almost exactly what my father said to me when I was 13 years old. Even now, some 16 years later, it bothers me that my dad "sold me out" like that. I wonder how different my life might've been had I been instilled with self-confidence and a can-do attitude, regardless of being shorter and less athletic than the white kids in my school?

I plan on raising my own son to be whatever he wants to be (not a bum, of course ) and not be concerned with physical limitations. As it is, it seems like he'll be tall (taking after me) and good-looking (taking after my wife)

I think my father meant well - his actual words escape me, but basically he was saying that the genes he passed on to me would doom me to below-average athletic skills, and that I should then throw my energies into becoming a superior student. Sound advice, when you're 47 years old and looking back at the wasted days of your own youth - and how far you might have gotten had you just worked a little harder in school - but to a 13-year-old just starting to grapple with puberty, and the acute awareness that you're not reaching growth milstones at the same rate as your white and Latino classmates, it was like a confirmation of inherent inferiority. That feeling followed me all through high school, and I only ever tried out for the band and the track team (and yes, I was, in fact, quite slow) when I really wish, looking back, that I had told my father to piss off, that I would show him, yada yada yada.

It turns out that I was merely a late bloomer, I shot up several inches between my junior and senior years in high school, and in college I played on numerous intra-mural football, basketball, and soccer teams, and found that I was actually quite decent at basketball.

I guess the lesson is that had I been acculturated differently (and my father for that matter) I would have smirked at him and proved him wrong, or at least made a valiant effort.

As positive aspects of the U.S. culture I also would have to add its pioneering spirit and adaptability, which Asia generally lacked in the past and, perhaps, still lacks even now. These attitude and flexibility are what made this country expand and develop so much, so rapidly, in my view. The will and desire of the early settlers to literally risk their own lives to move towards west to claim lands for themselves and their future generations to farm and ranch, while constantly adopting the latest technologies of their time to adapt to their new environments were the keys to their eventual dominance and achievements in this part of the world. Later, as industrialization emerged as the major economic engine of the U.S., these same aspects were applied to this as well to soon catapult the country to become the richest and the strongest one in the world since the last decade of the 19th century.

Vietguy:

My Mom and Dad told me some of those same things about not getting into fights or standing up for myself too, and I'm White. It wasn't because they thought I was weak or whatever, it was because they were the type of old-school parents who believed that teachers were never wrong when they called parents about students (not true), that parents were responsible to maintain discipline with their kids, and that phone calls from school about your kid getting into a fight were shameful to the family. It didn't matter that someone else was in the wrong and you were acting in self-defense. Their line was "Do not get into fights, no matter what gets done to you because if you get into trouble, you will ruin your chances at graduating high in the class and going on to college in order to make something of yourself. Just ignore those idiots because they're not worth it."

However, I did go through a number of situations where teachers were in fact wrong about something they said I did, but my parents always backed the teacher and not me. One time, a friend of mine was unjustly suspended because someone who was responsible for a pipe bomb had jokingly told him what he was going to do. My friend thought the guy was kidding and didn't report it. After it happened, someone anonymously tipped the principal that they overheard the conversation where the perp said what he was going to do. That kid's parents got attorneys and there was a big outcry over the suspension, which got revoked. If it would have been me, my parents would simply have apologized for my behavior, even though it wouldn't have been my fault!

I didn't totally listen to my parents though--I worked hard, tried out for the swim team and got on, ultimately earning 3 letters in the process. They thought that athletics were a waste of time, but I did it anyway and proved them wrong. I also learned to stay off of certain peoples' radar--go to classes, get the best grades possible, earn awards and scholarships but don't advertise it to everyone. Further, I learned to choose my friends carefully and not follow the crowd. I had five close friends in high school and am still in touch with them today. All the high school in-crowd kids now hate eachother and have drunken brawls at class reunions, which I still do not attend.

If there's any values I am going to teach my daughter Helena and any other children I have, it will be to value themselves and their family more than anything else. I will teach them that in-crowds and "popular kids" in high school mean absolutely nothing to you later in life and that you're better off finding solid friends whom you can trust and who have your back. I will further teach them to be honest with me, stick up for themselves, not take crap from the losers out there and how to handle things like this in a smart, strong way.

OutofEast,

Another value I would add that I like about America and appalls me to no end about many parts of Asia is the intolerance for corruption most Americans have.

You may not agree with me, and yes, I know that corruption is universal - that people in positions of power have abused such power since the first caveman cheiftain, but I do sincerely believe that on the whole, Americans have a culture which will not tolerate (or not for long) someone who unjustly uses their power and authority for undue personal enrichment.

Contrast this with most parts of Asia. In my parents' home country, corruption by people in power is not only expected and condoned, but it is thought unusual and weird when someone does get into a position of power and doesn't use it to enrich themselves and their family. It is that particular trait of culture (probably because I was raised here) which I find particularly distasteful. I believe it is that culture of corruption and nepotism that is causing the infamous "brain drain" of talented people who are moving en masse to Europe, and the US. If the culture were more similar to the US culture, where people, by and large, will do well if they are talented, hardworking, and motivated, regardless of family connections, family wealth or pedigree, I think all of Asia would be better off.

BasinBictory,

In fact, I do agree with your views on the rampant corruptions in Asia. Call it a by-product of abused Confucian values, if you will. But, regardless, as you pointed out, this is a major reason why some talented and competent Asians leave their homelands for better opportunities abroad, never intending to return to live. I personally knew of such a person who came as a graduate student, yet intended to stay on afterwards all along - and he did. The only excuse for this chronic problem in Asia that I can think of is that because competition is so fierce for anything desirable, that people there will use just about any means necessary, including corruption, to get it in an environment that's typically overcrowded with very limited resources or opportunities. It seems like a bad habit that everyone there condemns, but wouldn't hesitate to seize it and use it if given a chance.

OutofEast,

My parents are two such examples of the people like the graduate student you know who left, never intending to return. I talked many times with them about how it might have been had they stayed and not left. I am pretty sure that my life as I know it would not exist, I would probably be just some low-paid lackey for some government bigwig, never having any real sort of opportunity offered me. My father's family was actually relatively well-to-do, my gramps was a grocery store owner and one of the sons of the town's mayor when he was a young man. Even so, my father said that unless you're exceptionally talented, you won't move far from the station of life you were put in. That is why he made the decision to come here.

My mother's family on the other hand, was the Asian equivalent of the poor, uneducated, inarticulate trailer park denizens you see here. They were in really bad shape. They mostly still are - but fortunately for me, my mom had the ambition to improve herself, and realizing that her lack of connections would never let her go far back home, she migrated here, and met my pops.

You mentioned something that had me intrigued. Opportunities are few, so competition is fierce. But why exactly are opportunities few? In the case of China, you could say that it is because of the huge population, but that is not necessarily true of all Asia - besides, we in America have a very large population of our own, but this country's laws and society in general reward those who are innovative and entrepreneurial. As anyone who ever attended business school knows, if you find a need and fill it, you'll soon be rich. Seems like there's a universe of opportunity out there for the few brave and smart enough to take advantage of it.

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You mentioned something that had me intrigued. Opportunities are few, so competition is fierce. But why exactly are opportunities few? In the case of China, you could say that it is because of the huge population, but that is not necessarily true of all Asia - besides, we in America have a very large population of our own, but this country's laws and society in general reward those who are innovative and entrepreneurial. As anyone who ever attended business school knows, if you find a need and fill it, you'll soon be rich. Seems like there's a universe of opportunity out there for the few brave and smart enough to take advantage of it.

BB,

This goes back to my earlier post about the pioneering spirit and adaptability which have been not only encouraged but demanded of the Americans as the necessary qualities for them to have, in order survive and progress - which inevitably entails risk-taking. In contrast, Asians, in general, have been very conservative and reluctant to risk for changes (including progresses), partly due to their rigid, Confucianistic values and, later, partly due to the explosion of populations coupled with diminshed resources that further inhibited them from taking risks that could cost them dearly if failures resulted from such actions. It's only been recently that they have taken more risks solely out of the necessity to produce and compete in the global market to progress economically, but it's still done much more at the levels of large corporations or government, rather than at individual levels. In other words, as long as ground-breaking or the cutting-edge innovations are still very rare or, even, non-existent from Asia or Asians due to these reasons, Asians will, for a foreseeable future, still be relegated to playing the role of mass producers of goods and services based on the Western innovations with cheaper labors - that is, always the followers, but never the leaders.

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Any Aspects Of American Culture You Like?

America is not the worst place, but when given a choice about aspects of culture that I like, frankly I prefer Asian culture and living in Asia. Its THE place to be! Especially if you are of Asian descent its a very refreshing change from White Land. Wouldnt you rather live in Asia?

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Wouldnt you rather live in Asia?

Depends on what part. That's kind of like asking "Wouldn't you rather live in Europe?" of a white American. There are certainly parts of Europe that I wouldn't mind living, but behind the fallen Iron Curtain is certainly off my list. As far as Asia - my folks are from the Philippines, and even though I'd probably blend in better there and not face racial discrimination, that doesn't mean my quality of life would be any better. In fact, given that my parents were not of the super-wealthy elite when they were over there (the reason they left, right?) my life would probably not be anywhere near as comfotable and successful as it is in America.

Also, Just because you're Asian doesn't free you from dscrimination when you travel to Asia. People there have their own bigotries and prejudices, and from what I've been told, Filipinos in Asia, particularly in Japan, Singapore, and Indonesia, are treated and regarded in much the same manner that Mexican and Central American immigrants are regarded in the United States; that is, they're basically treated like scum.

So no, I don't think I'd rather live in Asia.

Aspects of American culture? Since when America has a 'culture'? well, even if they do it's only like 200 yrs .old. I like eql. ops though. Culture-wise, i think i'd rather stick to my own... OHH, and for those who r wondering why i'm dissin' amer. 'culture' - my judgement is based wholly on experience.

If we didn't like some aspects of American culture, we wouldn't've come here, now would we?
1. Fast food tastes good. I don't care what anyone says, it does. Now Asian food's much better, but ya gotta love the burgers as well.
2. More freedom in general. Here in the U.S. you will find books like "The Sex Chronicles" and "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test" sitting right there on the library shelf where 8 year olds can see 'em. And don't even mention the vulgarity of the media. I've read news reports of rock and roll concerts being shut down in China and North Korea, not because of obscene lyrics, but just because they played a different type of music.
3. Voting! Power to the people, damn right.
4. The No. 1 contribution of American culture: Rock and Roll music!