Last night I cried for all the times people have to take a second look at the pictures of me and my boyfriend, for all the asian women who look at us as a couple and wonder if I can really be there for him, for all the times people point out something I can see. Yes he is 100% Chinese, and I am Scottish/Irish/German American. So WHAT! It makes me cry to see that even today, in the US being in an interracial couple can cause so much of a silent devil. Its so stupid. People actually treat me differently. Even other asians, let alone the American side of it. Its hard, but I just want some support from other white girls who love an asian guy with all their heart, and have to put up with all this crap. I just got a new job and everytime someone sees his picture on my desk they have to stop for a second, that hurts becuase I never do that to them, they all look just like their husbands and I'm not like that! So what! Any support out there? Advice? latez...

Don't worry, they're just jealous. But in all seriousness, it's more out of curiosity than hatred or "WTF is that?" I mean hey, you're together at least. At my high school I liked this girl (Irish descent, if anyone cares) and I soon became the big joke in school for even thinking I had a chance with her. But the thing is, I did. However, whenever I asked her out she kept saying no although I knew she liked me, because of possible social consequences. Just stick it out and don't let em' get you down because you feel a lot worse if you gave up something special for something petty.

I'm hapa, but I colored my hair blond, so when my asian boyfriend and I first started going out together, we faced many similar problems as you. Usually stares at public places, we weren't used to it at first, but after four months together, we eventually got used to it.

As for our families, many of his family members as well as mine, were all rejected the idea of us living together. Eventhough they were all against us, we still had to test out our relationship, our love, to see if we can withstand everything that might be thrown toward us. And you know what, it couldn't had been the best thing we could do, we survived the test, we are very happy being together despite all the disapprovals from our families in the past. We are happy, and we know our marriage will last, our families will just have to accept this half white girl.

I know another AM / WF couple who just didn't care about what anybody think of them. They just brushed aside any racism that might come upon them, and just went on to their own business. It's all about them, their love, their happiness, they don't care what other people think of them.

Same thing with many asian women dating white men, they just couldn't care less what other people such as white folks and asian men think of them.

I know these things. People just aren't used to this things yet. By the way to the boy who liked the Irish girl that never would go out with you, don't give up. (maybe give up on her cuz she's too fradey cat to date an asian guy anywayz!) but test your luck on another white girl. You might be suprised. ANd to the girl who is half white, I identify with you, I think that yes we will both have happy long lasting marriages...our guy's family's just need to chill!hehehehe you know what I'm talking about! ANyway thanks for the support.

But by the way what can I do about my co workers, they start to act weird and look at me weird since they saw my man's pix on my desk. I don't take them down or anything, but still do you think that theres a way I can stop them from taking a second look so much. I mean its the same woman. I saw her walk by my desk when I was going to the restroom and she didn't know I was behind her, she actually stopped for a second to take a good look like she didn't see it right the first time.

All this is really stupid to me. I purposly ignore other interracial couple because I know what they are going through. I wish everyone would get it! Don' t you!

ttul!

Don't be concerned about people looking at your photos or looking at you when you're out in public. 90% of the time, its only because a WF/AM is still an extremely unusual combination (as opposed to a WM/AF situation) despite today's times. In fact, it is because of today's times that i'm almost certain it's not a case of racism - but simple curiosity, which should not be interpreted as offensive. We are all intrigued when we see something unusual, but that does not necessarily mean that we disapprove or dislike. I am a AM and i know i look at AM/WF couples for that split second longer than a WM/AF couple. It is difficult to deal with this attention, but unfortunately, unless there's significantly more WF/AM couples, things aren't going to change too quickly.

You know, I really need to see more Asian male Interracial relationships. I hardly see them; it's mostly Asian Females. I need to see Black Females as well; like Asian Females, it's always the males. So I think it would be so cool to see a Black Female/Asian Male relationship. But I don't think I've seen any Hispanic/Asian relationships in general.

Oh and I agree with some on here; I would look on as curiousity. It's one of the small things but I would like to be in an interracial relationship. So of course I'll look at one. Plus a lot of Interracial couples get so strong because of the stress. It there were no struggle involved in relationships, than it wouldn't be as strong. But a lot of people in Interracial relationships have to deal with probably a lot of stress.

I agree I think that it is mainly curiosity that may never go away until there are more WF/AM couples out there. These situations do strengthen my love for my Asian boyfriend. Thx for the advice everyone. I feel a lot better now! Latez!

This may sound insensitive, but get used to it. If your boyfriend grew up here he probably already has.

The really sad thing is, if you stay together, you'll experience enough of it that eventually you will get used to it.

well he didn't grow up in the US, but I will get use to it! He is way more than worth a little problem like people staring, my life with him isn't seen by those ppl anyway. You were not being insensitive at all, I think that it was very sensible what you just said! thanks...

Hey everyone--I'm in NYC, and can't really relate to everyone's comments. I just found this website on a whim. I'm AM, dating WF for about 2yrs. Never thought of it as a big deal either way. Not now at least. Our respective families are cool with it. In public, I don't sense that anyone gives a hoot about us. Sometimes I notice some staring, but I think it's because we're goofing around, or dressed particularly slobby or neatly. When I go to have dim sum with my girlfriend, which is quite often, again, I don't sense anyone gives a hoot about us.

BTW, I know that the AM/WF is less frequent than AF/WM. But not in my circle of friends. Off the top of my head, my Korean buddy from high school just married a South American cutie. A chinese buddy from grad school is just about to propose to an attractive black woman. Of course, I also have friends who are AF/WM, but it's not that lopsided as the census bureau indicates. My girlfriend's sister is convinced that she gets a discount at her local dry cleaner (asian owned) because they saw me hanging out with them on moving day. My girlfriend's sister thinks this way because the dry cleaners asked if I was the boyfriend, and when she told them I was her sister's boyfriend, they smiled. Go figure. Everyone's experiences are different, even if we ARE in the same city!

Also, my girfriend casually mentioned to me that she put a photo of us up in her office. And again, she didn't get any stares at all. In fact, all they said was the standard, "awwww...how cute" response. To which, I said, "oh brother, what else are they going to say!" Just to even out this anecdote though, my girlfriend does work at a liberal agency. In the end, I would say 95% of the (NYC) population could care less about a AM/WF relationship.

The truth is, whether you white boys or sell out asian hoes like it or not.

Asian male + White female = progressive and healthy relationships

White male + Asian female = suspicious reasons (asian girl trying to get a green card to stay in this country, white guy is a loser that's unwanted by his own race of women, all source of other reasons that are facts)

I think people that can't handle Asian male/White female relationships are jealous white boys and jealous asian girls. Couple weeks ago, I was at a restaurant with my girlfriend (she's White), and we saw at least 3 other Asian male/White female couples. I saw the Asian homeboys with their White ladies and I gave the fellow brother a thumbs up and a wussup head nod sign as in "good job bro, we the bomb!", and they gave me a thumbs up back.

Also my group of Asian buddies are also dating non-Asian girls. It's funny when we talk about it together how this pisses off the white boys, it's not our fault their own kinds leaves them and comes to us cause we treat women better and we're better lovers. I guess this runs in my family of men. Most of my uncles are married to White women. Another uncle of mine married a Mexican woman. I dated all colors but I prefer White girls and Latina girls, Asian girls just doesn't do it for me.

Now I know not all Asian girls date White guys cause they either want to fit in or be white. But I hardly ever see any Asian males date outside their race. I mean, does the Asian girl hate the Asian man and leaves him while the Asian man has no idea who to turn to next? Like I said, I also hardly see black women date outside their race too. So seeing an Asian interracial in general, well, I like it; even though I'm Mexican.

I like Asian girls, but they seem to easy to get. But I won't say that cause I know on this board many other Asian Female posters go "they think we're easy but I won't let him get me" and stuff like that. But at least it's probably more common for a Black women to put up more of a challenge. And I don't mean just hard to get, I mean just not so easy into letting go what they are. They must I suppose, I never see them out with non-blacks. I always, all the time, see Asian Females and Black males dating outside their race. I like a lot of black women cause they seem strong with pride. I like blacks with black pride (like Muhammad Ali) .

hi people! im new around here anyways when i read the thread that theracism to interacialial couples, i m soo glad to be lving in japan where they aint that kind of racial problem. here is very liberal about intercical couples! ASIAN MAN with WHITE WOMAN its not a social taboo here. Its tottally OK. Its consiudered normal, even a desireable thing!! AM-WW is pretty commen and nobody gives a sh*t if they see interracial coupls...in fact its even desireable so many WHitre girls from Canada, USA, PolandRussia, Tunisia, England, German..and Asian girls of Thailand, Korean, China..etc... jeesh just about all the foreigner chicks who are here WANT VERY MUCH to be in with Japanese guys...,,,or should I say have the Jguys get INTO them..WOW! ! Here its the non-ASian girls that do the apporach...really...and they can even be want you so badly... and the asian guy has to do is decide if shes ok or not....anyway get a forigner girlfreind its pretty easy honeslly!! [expletive] I even had girls STOCKING me...and I had to get away from them... so hows that for the other extreme from the ASian guy being unwanted. That ASian guy being unwanted crap only happens in Western countrries. in Japan its the totally opposite. And if AM-WW become serious and be an interacaill couple, noone cares....actually here a Japanese guy and foreigner girl, the people that stare do it because they are lonely and jealous and would actaully want to do it too. In the TV and movies and mass media you can find image of Asian Guy with White girlfrind/wife/lover very easily.... well anyways im happy to be here... lots of oppurtunity for Asian guys to meet every kind of international girl you like.. heck even the Black girls here are looking for and jumpin the Asian guys...no sh*t !!. so its tottally cool over here !

CKB:

Quite propogating stereotypes. You're doing both on both types of couples. The real reasons behind any relationships are more complex than you would make them out to be. That's like saying all Texans voted for Bush and all Washingtonians voted for Kerry when there are substantial pecentages in each blue and red state that voted for the other candidate.

hi people! im new around here wink.gif anyways when i read the thread that theracism to interacialial couples, i m soo glad to be lving in japan where they aint that kind of racial problem. here is very liberal about intercical couples! ASIAN MAN with WHITE WOMAN its not a social taboo here. Its tottally OK. Its consiudered normal, even a desireable thing!! AM-WW is pretty commen and nobody gives a sh*t if they see interracial coupls...in fact its even desireable so many WHitre girls from Canada, USA, PolandRussia, Tunisia, England, German..and Asian girls of Thailand, Korean, China..etc... jeesh just about all the foreigner chicks who are here WANT VERY MUCH to be in with Japanese guys...,,,or should I say have the Jguys get INTO them..WOW! ! laugh.gif Here its the non-ASian girls that do the apporach...really...and they can even be want you so badly... and the asian guy has to do is decide if shes ok or not....anyway get a forigner girlfreind its pretty easy honeslly!! [expletive] I even had girls STOCKING me...and I had to get away from them... so hows that for the other extreme from the ASian guy being unwanted. That ASian guy being unwanted crap only happens in Western countrries. in Japan its the totally opposite. And if AM-WW become serious and be an interacaill couple, noone cares....actually here a Japanese guy and foreigner girl, the people that stare do it because they are lonely and jealous and would actaully want to do it too. In the TV and movies and mass media you can find image of Asian Guy with White girlfrind/wife/lover very easily.... well anyways im happy to be here... lots of oppurtunity for Asian guys to meet every kind of international girl you like.. heck even the Black girls here are looking for and jumpin the Asian guys...no sh*t !!. so its tottally cool over here ! cool.gif

**based on that, you're probably not even in Japan. Japan is actually a very racist country. Most people think Japanese are nice, but some of them are nice on the outside, but are totally racist inside. having friends who lived and worked in Japan can tell you that. Finding an apartment to rent was a pain becuase most would not rent to foreigners. Everyday, there are "news" about foreigners committing a crime, how foreigners are ruining japanese society, etc. How most of the crimes are commtitted by Chinese. I had one friend who got turned down by a prostitute because he isn't Japanese! WTF is that?

By the way, most foreigners, especially European and Chinese girls do not have a thing for Japanese guys. Most Chinese girls have negative views of Japanese guys and rightfully so.

One last thing, one thing that is true is that if you are a foreigner (especailly white ) it will be easier for you to hook up with a Japanese ladies. And yes, Japanese guys do hate that even if they don't admit to it.

yeah whatever Neo-Nazi, oops..I mean member of the National Democratic Party of Germany, turning against your Japanese Nationalist cousins huh?


warum das Bumsen, bombardieren sie Pearl Harbor, jene miesen Affen!

Huh? You been smokin a weed or someting?? Whatcha mean yo? My grlfrends is Japanese yo. Im Korean-japanese. We're living together. You didnt know Korean man are populer now in Japan?? In fact my GF beofre were Japanese, white British and one Black-Spanish girl, so huh? Whats racist stuff is you meaning? You are weird I think Chinese girls are cute but often bad fashion sense and bad make-up, so hard to find good ones..Chinese girls keep chasing the Japanese guys you know. Like one Chinese girl approached me. But she had cheap clothes and no make-up, not my type. ..but a Black-Spanish girl was quite delicious, heha Japanese is really cool people and few bad people. Theyre friendly happy attitude you know. Ah..Maybe your friends cant speak japense so the Japanese think he's retarded? Or maybe your friend wasn't so handsome so people dont like his face and treat him badly? Im a handsome dude can speak fleuntly in Japanese so no problem ha!ha! its cool here yo. thats it. Well maybe one smelly Japanes bum was pissing in the street and said bad words to me like fuk U, and [expletive] . so hes one bad japanese mfkr hahaha! :

I think you are too sensitive for the others attitude.
Don't mind it, following your heart, no matter what.

[quote=houa555]Last night I cried for all the times people have to take a second look at the pictures of me and my boyfriend, for all the asian women who look at us as a couple and wonder if I can really be there for him, for all the times people point out something I can see. Yes he is 100% Chinese, and I am Scottish/Irish/German American. So WHAT! It makes me cry to see that even today, in the US being in an interracial couple can cause so much of a silent devil. Its so stupid. People actually treat me differently. Even other asians, let alone the American side of it. Its hard, but I just want some support from other white girls who love an asian guy with all their heart, and have to put up with all this crap. I just got a new job and everytime someone sees his picture on my desk they have to stop for a second, that hurts becuase I never do that to them, they all look just like their husbands and I'm not like that! So what! Any support out there? Advice? latez... [/quote]

houa555, my wife can't respond (she's at work while I'm minding our rugrats ), so I'll respond for her

People will stare, people will make comments, but ultimately as I've said somewhere else in this forum, that it's what you and your husband get out of the relationship that's all that matters. I remember this one time when my wife and I went to the mall and we got separated. When I walked into a shop (which she said that she'd be at) didn't see my wife so I said. "Dang...my wife got lost again..." the clerk automatically assumed that my wife was "Asian" and pointed out a young Asian lady who had just exited the store. I just took it in stride and said. "My wife is Caucasian..." Startled her.

One of my former real estate buddies was married to an Italian-Canadian. He was 100% Chinese-Canadian.

My wife has been 100% behind me. OK...make that 110%. She's been supportive of my career change objectives. I find that every job that I take which I don't have an interest in (I've been a cubicle rat (office-worker), a real estate agent)<---- jobs before my marriage, (security guard, property manager, more cubicles...) <----after my marriage and each one of them hasn't turned out. I had no interest in my job because it was soul-sucking sheer drudgery. I wanted to do something that I could really enjoy. Which is photography. She's been there every step of the way. Supporting my choices, giving me a kick in the @$$ when I waffle. I love her and no other woman could do that for me. We make a "right" fit for each other.

All the best.