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Hi, I am a black female married to an asian (corean) man. We have been together for years, and are very happily married, & in love. Can someone explain to me why "we" as a couple are never even shown? It breaks my heart that society chooses not to even recognize; that plenty of asian men do find black women attractive, and vise-versa!
Not that it's important but- did u know there is no asian men black female XXX ? I find it odd that on the World Wide Web- the only asian pairing u see is --- Asian females w/ both whites & blacks or other asians; but never the other way around! If I decide to watch XXX, I would at least like to see a couple that represent us!!
My BEST BEST FRIEND is laos, and her boyfriend is black; whenever we go out all four- we recieve the most weird responses from people. People will automatically put me w/ her man, and assume that my husband is w/ her. WHY? And i'm not being paranoid, or crazy- people really do go out their way to make that assumption!!!
"Well I guess people will be blind to what they want to" Thanks for listening!

Daisy
*** Hi-FiVE TO THE REMAKE OF CINDERELLA ( THEIR WAS AN ASIAN PRINCE, AND BLACK CINDERELLA)*****

lovejones, the reason why there are so few (if any) asian male/black female couples in the media, and why its hardly every mentioned is because, according to the u.s. census bureau, they are the least likely of black, white and asian couples.

when looking at the census (i don't have the numbers on me, but i can find them for you), of the black/asian couples, 80% are black male/asian female.

additionally, society has put the black women at the bottom of the barrell (in terms of looks) and asian men at the bottom of the barrell (in terms of looks). let me say that this is TOTALLY unfair...TOTALLY racist...TOTALLY without merit or validity. but, historically, this has been the case. black men don't fare better in other areas (vis-a-vis other races of men) but the one thing that black men allegedly had was the 'sex' thing (of course, this was brought up to scare 'decent' white women away from black men during colonial and post-colonial slavery in the u.s.). black women were also sexually objectified (though this came about by rape at the hands of the master or his white overseers).

for men, this is 'okay' (how many men brag about being 'too small' or 'inept' in bed?). men are praised by other men for being sexually skilled. women, on the other hand, are considered 'whores' if they are 'good in bed'. mind you, men that have pre-martial sex are usually doing it with a woman who is having premarital sex, but the men aren't considered 'whores'). so, combined with racism is sexism.

asian men, until VERY recently, weren't even MENTIONED on the sexual scale. they were dogged out for being 'too small' (though, for the life of me, i don't know who goes around looking at and measuring men's 'tools'). look at asian men in the media until the last couple of years. they were seen as evil men that asian women run from ('joy luck club'), workers that did the bidding of white men or simply background.

combine this history with most black women wanting a black man, and most asian men not even having black women on their radar, and you see what happens.

perhaps you and your husband can start a 'yahoo' group to get the ball rolling? it can deal with issues about black women/asian men couples.

LOL@myself...never mind. just saw your website!

I am sureprised no one else has any comments on this subject. I am a little dissapointed, as I would have liked to have heard some views from asian americans, Thank Gillete for you feedback.

Lovejones, I think gillete sum it up really well with his post.

Thank you condor for your post also:
My husband and I get a lot of support from our web-pages, lots of black women & asian men that love this pairing. although I heard everything u said gillette/condor it just seems funny that with soooooooo many asian & black couples (East- West coast), and soooooooo many beautiful half/ black and asian children, that at least the media/ children's books/ would and should show this!!! ( I think i'll start an annual Blasian parade.... hehehehe.... just jokin! .........am very tired... it's late)
I guess it's something I would like to see more of, especially for my future children, but reality is ,that , the pairing is just so rare, and new... Truth is I myself never actually ran into, or met an asian man dating a black woman, it's just not seen!!
I really do appreciate the comments tho, my husband and I just wanted to see what people thought, we are thinking of promoting/ creating some black and asian(children's books, paintings,XXX, ect......)
What do u tink????
Do u think those things are not out there beacause people really don't want to see it, or is it just un-tapped ?
if u find a asian man, black woman porn, pics, movies or anything please let me know, need it for my research, havent found any yet!

lovejones, i don't do the 'porn thing', but i'd IMAGINE there's SOMETHING out there if you look hard enough for it.

as far as children's books of mixed asian/black characters, again, as i have no children yet, i don't know. but, you can always write one yourself.

i don't think that the world doesn't want see asian men/black women couples (or for that matter asian women/black men couples). its just that since that's the rarest of couples, there's no 'large market' for business to exploit.

i dated one asian woman before, and i'm dating another now. not because they are 'asian', but because i happened to find two really cool women (not at the same time!) that happened to be asian. they dated me because they found a really cool guy (and humble) who happened to be black. the only stares i got were from a COUPLE of sisters (not many), and i think they forgot about us the second we walked by. the same probably happens to you (from a couple of black guys).

as long as YOU TWO are happy, really, what the rest of the world thinks is meaningless.

Yeah I agree- I was thinking of writing some children's book (since I don't work) - I have yet to actually do it though-maybe if I had children I would be inspired more!
Black men are the ones that normally don't respect my marriage- more when we dated, then now that i'm married; and it's funny cause black women either look at me funny' or like i'm stupid- or they really like me for it!!
Life is just sooooooo damn weird.
Oh""" and the porn thing-- I'm not really into porn either, it's just that I was thinking " for all the dirty- different kinds of porn out there.. I thought I would exploit asian men/ black women just to make some $$$$" heheheh...... I was thinking about the "almighty dollar" I told you I have no job!
Once again thanks for the responses- I really do appreciate it!

I'm an Asian male in college. I've found black women have outstanding qualities other women don't have.

1. Out of all the women in the world, I think black women have the best "character". What I mean is they are the most genuine ladies I've met.
2. They often smile at me and are polite.
3. Excellent sense of humor.
4. Black women have a distinct way of talking which I find charming. A lot of Asian women have this excessively girly/high tone which annoys me.
5. Black women treat their man WELL. I know this is a stereotype but I think it's true.

I've seen a few black women who have elicited the "Damn. That woman is beautiful" response from me. Not Destiny's Child look-alikes. More like Ms. VIVIAN BROWN, the gorgeous Southern black lady on the Weather Channel. Is she still working there? Don't know cause my antennae at my apartment doesn't pick up many channels.

Oh yeah, how could I forget!... this deserves an entire post anyway... The wonder of the black female ASS!

I was on the 51 bus in Berkeley and this high school age black girl got on. She was a tad bigger than slender, but as she walked by my seat, I noticed her ENORMOUS backside. I was like "Holy sh..." And then this older black woman sitting beside me was like "Damn, that girl got it workin!" I sensed a lot of PRIDE in that voice!

Also one time in the subway I saw this professional black woman, her back turned to me, talking to a friend. She was wearing tight gray pants and had a piece of paper folded between her gorgeous buttocks! I was attracted to her INSTANTLY.

Us Asian guys definitely find black women beautiful.

Hi Lovejones,

I've finally found time to visit your website. I think that it is definitely great that you guys are trying to promote this pairing more. As for idea of writing a children's book, it sounds like a decent idea however you may need to wait until there is a bigger market for it to be a success. Noami Campbell, Tiger Woods and Tyson Beckford are all blasian. So one day when you have kids, they'll have lofty role models to aspire to. Maybe you should do a bit of research about each's parent's background and put them on your website. Also I believe Russell Wong (actor in that horendous movie joy luck club), is married to a black woman but there is not a lot of information about them. You may have already try but if not find some picture that you are entitle to put on your website.

I hope your husband doesn't mind my saying so: You look like a sexy girl!

I am a (very european looking white)latino and my wife is gorgeous japanese woman. I have very rarely seen bf/am couples,but i woudn't be surprised when i see a couple. Iv'e seen af/wm-bm couples here and there,but I still have to see a latin male/af couple! Has anybody here seen such a couple?
I have seen latin male/bf-wf couples though,but not any as of yet lm/af couple. So as you can imagine people look at us as caucasian/af couple. My wife thought I was "white" when she noticed me at first. She divorced her asian husband(not because of me!)but because he was too demanding,and too snubby. She complained also about the sex part. She prefer more sexually aggressive men. Her husband was too laid back when it came to sex.
She enjoys giving oral sex,and once in a while anal sex. her husband was too prudish.
I think there must be some porno websiteswhere asian males/black girls go at it. It's just a matter of finding it. Good luck.!

calgeorge, i'd just say be careful in your statements. if it's your opinion that black women are the best, that they have the best 'asses', and that they treat their men right, cool.

of course, there is no way to quantify or objectively state that.

as a black man that has dated black women, asian women and latinas (and toyed with the idea of dating a couple of white women), i can't say that black women are 'better' or 'worse' than any othe group of woman. the same can be said of the asian and hispanic women i've dated and the white women i thought about dating.

at the end of the day, it's about the individual. i've known some GREAT black, asian, hispanic and white women, and i've known some jerk azz black, asian, hispanic and white women. no race has a monopoly of good or bad.

I understand, gillette. Heh, I didn't actually write "black women are the best", nor do I think they have the "best" butts. I think different women have different advantages, but hell, what do I know? I have yet to date a girl.

My Husband and I are loving all of the feed back!! ***THANKS TO EVERYONE***
For some reason I never did think to add Blasian pics to my site- I will now (thanks)
I can agree- I don't think any race is better than any other; were all alike!! Some good, Some bad.
My husband and I, are mature enough to appreciate a great compliment. A compliment to me; is also one to him! With that said:
THANK YOU!

We, our generation, was suppose to learn from the past and then change it. Change it by eliminating the hatred, the prejudice, stereotypes and accept each other for who we are and not what we look like or our ethnicity. If we took the initiative to even try to make an attempt to change it we would have been able to stand on a much more firm ground than what we stand on now. We fear each other. And that fear pushes us in a different directions and away from leaning about each other. I don't like being in fear of talking to someone that I might be able to learn something new from. It breaks my heart to know that as accepting and loving as I am I have people that fear me and I fear them. I hope everyone gets to experience being in an interracial relationship, because it's something that can be truly amazing.

Love and happiness to all


To the Couple:
I want you to know that you and your husband's union is beautiful. And your future selves (children for the slow) will be blessings. Teach them right let them know they are not just bi-racial, but half LOVE and half GOD. Let them see themselves as you see them and not America, because that is important. I pray that your union is forever and the difficulties that come with marriage will not devour you. GOD BLESS

Bravo Lovejonesen1

So me and my husband (who is chinese) aren't the only ones out there . Your union is a beautiful thing, and when little ones come along, like it did for me and my husband they will be blessed with two cultures to share with the world. Stay strong in your relationship and your love for one another. God Be With You

Sorry for the " super late " response- Once again I THANK YOU ALL- for the wonderful support, responses, and a view inside of your mind!

Hi I am new to this site and I go by the name Soulful,
I would like to comment on the lady who is married to the asian guy, I am from the mid-west and were I am from you do not see a lot of AM/BW couples.

You do see a lot of other couples, wm/bw, aw/mw, aw/bm, and wf/bl but never have I ever seen one, except for the last past year.

I do not have a problem with interracial dating, and i do not see a big deal.

When I did seen the couple I thought how usual to see that pair, because you do not get that were I live from what i have seen.

I would like to see more people get out of the box and get to know other cultures. I try to tell my friends that time, but they think I am crazy and weird.

What is wrong with wanting to meet other people and get to know a different race. But I have friends who think you should stick with your own race and leave it at that.

I think you should do whatever makes you happy, if you meet someone who you can connect with and who is on the same page as you, then you should go for it.

Hi Soulful

Hopefully some of you will rub off on your friends who think sticking with there own is the only way to go.

I just joined the site, but this conversation looks like it has been going on for a while. I am Korean American, and my fiance is African American. Where I live you don't see a lot of AM/BF couples either. Although the Asian man across the street is married to a black woman, but I think it is just us in the whole city. I read an article before that may explain why this phenomenon is not largely supported by mainstream america. If I can find the link again I will post it here. The paper reads that the general qualities looked for in men and women in mainstream america put black women and asian men at the bottom of the grading scale. In mainstream america desired qualities for women are to be very thin, light in color, and not aggressive. That is why if you do see a black woman in the media who is considered attractive she is usually thin, and light skinned (since aggressive personality can't really be seen in pix). Examples, Tyra Banks, Vivica, Vanessa Williams, and Byonce. I know some people would not consider Byonce as thin, but then again what is the second thing out of the medias mouth when the say Byonce, BOOTY, they point out that she is different than the others. The "ideal" male however, is tall, muscular, and athletic. This rules out most asian men. We can work out and practice our jumper, but the height thing is something that will take time to change (not for me though, I am 6'1", hahaha). Even among asians though, dark skin is not desirable. In asian society if you are dark it is because you do manual labor, which usually means you are uneducated. This prejudice goes wayyyyy back in our history. A lot of asians from southeast asia (laos, cambodia, vietnam, thailand) are looked down on by other asians because of their dark skin. Yet another reason, as if this weren't enough, is that Asian men are under an enormous amount of pressure from their families to marry an asian woman. Traditionally it is the males who carry on the family name, so even though it is not approved of for a female to go outside the race, it is even worse for a male to do it. Things are changing though, Queen Latifah is doing Cover Girl commercials (another light skinned woman, but she is thick and definitely not portrayed as meek), and because of improving economical conditions and better nutrition each generation of asian men coming from the homeland will be bigger and stronger. On top of that, one of the few guys who can run with Shaq in the NBA is Yao. Keep your head up, I hope I didn't write so much that your eyes fall out of your face. Peace, and hair grease.

As a lowlife asian hoodlum (haha), you can say I kinda fell head over heels for a "sista" in my 3rd period class. She's one intelligent girl (excelled in all her classes)and was just so sweet and caring to others. Brittany had long black braids, cute dimples, and was darker than most girls, curvy and filled out quite well in them tight jeans. I sat in front of her throughout the first semister of our physics class and in the back of my mind I would always want to say something to her like "I'm feelin' you" or "I'd like to get to know you better" or something, but she was part of the "black" crowd, in which they stuck together as a unit and separate from other races (not in the racism sense, but it was preference.) Now, there are some nice asian girls in the class as well, but they didn't quite catch my attention as well as Brittany, and the pressure built up so bad one day I actually told her how I felt during lunchbreak and you wouldn't believe the look she gave me...Aside from the embarassing moment of her friends sitting on the bench just cracking up at me, Brittany let out a sort of bleek and confused glare that just burnt a hole through a piece of my heart. She wasn't comfortable with the fact that I was asian and felt a barrier would be crossed if a relationship that progressed anymore than friendship would be "abnormal".

To see that you folks out here are handling your buisness and getting asian men/black women couples a chance to thrive in these times of discreet segregations, and I pray that your relationship with your man will continue to grow stronger as time progresses.

Hi,

I'm getting married in Sept06 to a Japanese American male. I'm an Africian American woman who is dark skinned and full figured woman. He is a Chairman of a department at a local hospital and I own several business. I'm well educated and very outspoken with a good sense of humor.

I do not tolerate racism or stupidity. I wish someone would have the nerve to question me why I'm marrying a Japanese man. We go out and people stare, but I have a look that I give , it's a killer. My man just stands there and laughs and then we both start laughing. They eventually get the message.

What I don't understand is, why people can not comprehend we are not two different species, we are both human.

LOVE is blind to color and does not stay behind the " racial lines." LOVE conquers all.

My brother who is an artist loves my fiance' like a brother. He created these T-Shirts for us for the family reunion and he entitled them " Mr. & Mrs. CocoButter." They are beautiful and we can not wait to wear them in July.

Asian Males Dating African American Women do exist....just open your eyes a little wider.

Peace,

For what its worth lovejonesen1

You both look great together!!!

Hi lovejonesen1,
I've just stumbled upon this discussion panel and realized that I'm a year late! I'm going to say it anyway: you are one gorgeous girl/woman! I hope your man doesn't mind.
I'm a Viet guy who grew up in Europe and 6 years ago, while I was studying in Ireland, I met an Australian girl whose parents were both from Angola. The attraction was mutual and immediate: she found my ineptitude on the dancefloor very enticing and sexy! To cut a long story short I only ended up kissing her that night. She was one hell of a beautiful girl!

Well I dont think that it is such big an issue so that people would have to say things about an Asian dating a black woman, speaking from the personal point of view they are just fine as long as the relationship spree is there between any persons and it does hardly matter whether the person is of different cast or creed. Hope people get over this bias soon and practical thinking sets in.