Is it just my imagination or is my asian american friend interested in me? I have a an Asian friend who is very sweet, thoughtful, intelligent, well educated, funny, kind, a great cook etc. To me he is the perfect man. He is also beautiful to look at. He calls me almost every day. He cooks dinner for me, sometimes, twice a week. He is always eager to help me with anything (moving furniture etc.) He is considerably younger than me. I don't know if he is just being nice or if he is interested in me. He is always extremely polite and although he may make sexual innuendoes on occasion he never makes any sort of movement toward sexuality or even affectionate touch. I don't know what to think or do. I have been trying to just enjoy the friendship for what it is but the more I see him, I want to be closer to him. I'm somewhat shy and not one to go in for the kill so to speak. Could he be pursuing me slowly or is this all just my imagination? He is really a loner and doesn't socialize with many people. If anyone has any feedback for me, I'd appreciate it.
Miss M

I am not really sure how to react to this post. A White woman in her 50's is asking if her Asian friend is interested in her. Are we suppose to know the answer as to whether he is interested because we are Asian? I would imagine that you know him better than any of us. I would also imagine that some of your white friends would also have a better idea than us. I think it is interesting that at 50 years old that you cannot tell if is interested, nor will you talk to him about it. Since you ask though, here is my expert ASIAN opinion:

I would say that he is interested, but may be apprehensive to say anything for fear that it would be weird afterwards. If you have a common friend (male or female) have that person make a comment about how he is always doing stuff for you, and to ask his intentions. If you don't have any common friends, you can either be patient, and just let it happen, or you can bring it up. You will have to be fully prepared for weirdness and for him to withdraw from you if he isn't, but at least your curiosity will have been satisfied. Is he gay? Because if he is, his behavior wouldn't be all that peculiar because isn't that how a woman would be with you?

The funny thing is, a mature person of any race will probably tell you the same thing I just said. But hell, I'm asian, so why wouldn't I be able to read another asian's mind!!!

hewy00,

Evidently you have not been trained in the psychic arts. All of us who have Asian blood and have been trained in the mysteries of Mind-fuk-foo can read any Asian's mind, at any time, regardless of differences of ethnicity, language, or age.

miss m's friend is clearly interested but I sense (yes, I can read his mind) that he is restricted by other factors that are in play.

I would like to set the record straight as a White female who generally cares for people. I have been friends with Asians for 3 years. I did not have the expert tools in understanding diversity. My friends are my friends being good, bad or indifferent. I am sure they have seen my indifferences. Through the years, as a white female I have come accross a true friendship with an Asian male. He embodied all of my insecurities as a woman and truly sought friendship with me. I believe he knew that, however all I wanted is to build a sexual relationship with him. The sexual relationship was my way of appreciating him and caring for him on his character, charm and wonderful being. I got caught up in the flirtations and acts of kindness. To me, I thought he would be there for me through anything. I believe now that he is alegiant to his friends and was looking for teamwork and compassion through me. I believe in friendship and caring and he has taught me to truly find myself. With always confidence our friendships will carry through. What is real is the woman's destiny and unfortunately I choose independence. A woman can only give so much of herself in any relationship until she makes her own decisions on what she needs to be successful.

Hi Miss M.

sounds like hes interested in you.
why dont you ask him if he`s seeking to be in a relationship?
whats to lose?

Sweetgirl,

Not sure what point you were trying to make with your posts but if you weren't getting it physically then it is time to move on. I don't think the guy being asian has anything to do with it BTW.

Your right......Moving on and letting go is always a good thing. Sorry you didn't get my point but as long as I know. Just trying to say that out of 3 years I was just as much a friend as they were. Thank you for your opinion point well taken.

Sweetgirl, I didn't mean to offend you with my post. I obviously don't know your situation well enough to comment. However sometime two people can get stuck in a rug when they have been friends for a while. Making the transition from being friends to lovers isn't easy especially if you both have common friends.

If you have to ask...

that's cute, hehe, I stumbled by this topic, and though this is probably after the fact still I'd like to comment.

When someone does that much for you....it's probably a case of two shy non communicative people, between you two. Hell I share a place with my sister and I don't even cook for her twice a week. When someone spends that much time on a person/activity, even if it's a case of them not consciously knowing it themselves, they like you/it, yeah, definitely.

To miss M,and sweetgirl:
What is it that you pretend to achieve through your Asian friends?
A) a platonic relationship
an exclusively sexual relationship
C) just a normal sexual/caring relationship
D) the possibility of having a "catering Asian chef" at your beckoning
E) to satisfy your morbose curiosity of if Asian men have a "tiny" penis
I could go on and on with this multiple choice questions,based on the way you seek "expert" Asian opinions about your situations.
Forgive me for putting it bluntly,but, I smell a "fish" in the "interesting" description of your dilemmas.
Have you ladies fantasized about having sexual intercourse with the "mystical" asian male
of the stereotypical white disdain. Hmm, I am wondering!